The Captain's Pet
by jw1964
Summary: "Why'd you do it, Puppy?" Because he loved Steve enough to not hesitate to take a bullet for him. Jayson Moore lost his parents at the age of six. He'd been raised by Hydra to be a weapon. But when given his next target he found a way out, he didn't want to be a tool anymore. He'd just planned to live the rest of his life in solitude hiding from Hydra but nothing can go as planned.
1. Prelude - ?

**Warnings for the entire story: Sexual content, mentions of child abuse, PTSD/Panic attacks, and Captain America may seem a bit OOC. You have been warned.**

I stared at the ceiling of my prison cell in a shield base. The white tiles and florescent lights were giving me a headache. The dull throb had been threatening to explode for the last forty-one hours and twelve minutes. I sighed to myself thinking, how did I get here? Three hundred and thirty-six hours with thirty minutes of sleep one hundred and forty-nine hours before that moment was starting to affect my mind. I sighed again moving my eyes to the camera that was aimed directly at me.

How did I get here? I didn't even know what I was asking anymore. How did I become a prisoner? Or how did I get here in life? I went over the events from Three hundred and fifty-two hours before.

 _"I have a bad feeling about this." A quiet girl said from my left._

 _"Non-sense, Jayson is the team leader. Has he ever led you wrong?" Mr. Hagstrom asked._

 _"Well no. I'm sorry." She apologized._

 _"She isn't wrong," I said sampling the air. "The avengers are waiting for us."_

 _"Shit, they know our plan." Another boy said._

 _"Sim. Ainda temos a vantagem. Fique calmo, podemos mudar issa."I told him._

 _"Jayson is right. We know their plan. We can change ours to gain the upper hand." A kid that I had grown up with said grinning._

 _"You know I don't understand what he said." The first boy griped._

 _"He said that we have the advantage and to stay calm." The second boy translated roughly._

 _"Alright, keep quiet, we have another mile of walking before we meet with them," I told my group with authority._

 _Everything was going according to plan. We continued the walk through the dense jungle in silence until we came upon the abandoned trading post where my only hope of escape stood waiting and ready. We came to a stop just before them. Hagstrom stopped just ahead of me while the others lingered behind me. I eyed the team and let the energy buzz through me as I prepared to phase._

 _"So, are you going to come quietly or do we do this the hard way?" Tony Stark asked from behind his faceplate._

 _"Sorry, we won't be coming with you at all." Hagstrom challenged._

 _For a moment it felt like everything had stopped. It felt like the earth had stopped spinning beneath my feet until the shield made his first move. I released the energy letting my nature come to light. In just a moment with no time for a normal person to process, I was on all fours, ears back, and baring my teeth. One kid and I both charged at the shield until we were in the perfect position to strike. I suddenly turned around taking the fifteen-year-old by the neck, feeling it snap between my jaws. I turned to the other kids in my group, not one them exceeding twenty. I was able to kill more than half before it was time for me to make a run for it. A huge fire had started and the piles of smoke made it easy to slip away, or so I thought._

 _The huge green man and the captain started to run after me. I paused letting the roaring beast catch up before avoiding him and letting my teeth and claws dig into his back. He let out an angry shout before he tried to slam his body against mine. I jumped away and waited until I could attack again. This time I was able to hit the spot I wanted. The beast passed out and turned into a man. I heard the captain swiftly approaching and I took off running again. I felt the edge of his shield bit into my left hip before bouncing off and leaving the bone exposed. I tried to keep running but my leg eventually gave out and I was forced to morph back. I grunted, placing a hand painfully over the wound on the back of my hip._

 _A man stepped out of the jungle and several sniper dots appeared all over my body. I watched the man carefully._

 _"You're Jayson Moore?" He questioned._

 _I didn't respond._

 _"If you know what's good for your health then you'll follow me to the quinjet."He threatened._

 _I sneered at him._

 _"If you don't start walking over here then these snipers will lite your ass up." He bit out._

 _I tried to stand and failed._

 _"What's wrong? Bum leg?" He snarked._

 _I removed my hand from my injury and held it palm side out, letting him see the blood. He rolled his one good eye and motioned two men over. They picked me up by the arms and dragged me along as the other man started walking._

I took another deep breath at the memory. Of course, it wouldn't have done me any good. I sat up carefully as a woman opened the door to my cell with a tray of food and medical supplies. She gave me a sad and soft smile even though she knew I wouldn't return it. I wordlessly took off my shirt and turned away from her. She silently walked over and crouched down to look at my stitches.

"They're healing nicely. Are you in any pain? I can give you something anytime you feel like you need it." She said not really expecting an answer.

"That won't be necessary Claire." Fury said.


	2. 1 Imprisonment

**So I forgot to mention a warning in the Prologue which is Dom/Sub. Again you have been warned.**

"You're being relocated." Fury said.

I turned to look at him and saw the Captain standing just behind me. Claire reluctantly said yes sir and left, leaving the tray of food where it was. I kept my eyes on Fury as he entered the cell with the Captain in tow.

"Are you sure about this?" The Captain asked Fury.

"We'll see." He said never breaking eye contact. "Jayson this is Captain Steven Rodgers. He will be keeping an eye on you until further notice. We will relocate you to a safe house. I'll give you a sedative and we will transport you there."

I chose not to respond even though a sedative is the last thing I wanted.

"Hold out your arm." He commanded.

I did and was stuck with the needle. I didn't flinch.

"Stark should be finished when we arrive." Fury said as everything became blurry.

I woke up in a plush bed with a fuzzy head. I was laid on my right side to avoid ripping my stitches. Little things. I slowly sat up and looked around the room. It wasn't a cell, it was a regular bedroom. It was new too if the smell of freshly dried paint was anything to go on. I swept my eyes over the room until I found a file with my name on it. I carefully stood and walked over to the file. I opened it to see a list of rules to follow, an explanation on "Jarvis", a list of subjects I needed to get a high school education and a schedule for the next week. Monday a nurse would come to remove my stitches, Tuesday Natasha would talk to me about staying in shape, and Thursday Maria would tell me about maybe starting an online school.

I looked over the rules, my heart skipping a beat as I read the first one. "No Shifting". I hoped that I could get through that. The next rules seemed simple enough. I glanced at the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand. 5:54 pm. I had slept the day away. I shook my head and started looking for the bathroom. Finding it I also found out that it attached the Captain's bedroom and mine. I locked both doors and hopped into a hot shower. I could feel the two weeks worth of blood and dirt slide from my skin. Once clean I walked to the closet with a towel draped over my hips. I looked through the new clothes finding a pair of sweats and a plain white shirt. I got dressed and exited the room taking in the hallway. It seemed so normal, like something I'd seen is a movie. I heard the footsteps before I smelt the Captain enter the hallway from the stairs.

"You're awake." He said. "Good, I just wanted to let you know that dinner is here. Are you hungry?"

I said nothing but took a careful step closer to the stairs that he'd just come up. He nodded his head looking resigned. He turned and I followed him to the kitchen. I sampled the air taking in the scent of warm plastic and spices. Steve quietly started unpacking the food.

"I hope you like Chinese. Nat got it for us. I wanted to wake you and ask but she told me to let you sleep until the food got here." He said quietly.

"Thanks, I'll eat anything." He seemed shocked as I spoke.

"Good to know, because I can't cook." He chuckled.

"I can," I said not finding him amusing.

"By the way, I'm sorry for your injury." He apologized.

I didn't respond and began eating. He took a deep breath but didn't say anything. I ate slowly not wanting to make myself sick. We ate in silence and once we finished I got up to start cleaning. The Captain stood to help and I let him. The fifteen minutes it took to clean up was also spent in silence. I quickly went back to the bedroom afterward. I was still tired from the sedative. I stripped off my shirt and laid on my stomach. I took three deep breaths before I was out.

I woke up and looked at the alarm clock, 5:45 am. I sighed getting up. My body had been trained to get up at that time every morning. Even though I had slept for almost eleven hours I was still tired. I walked to the bathroom to take a shower. The Captain was already there brushing his teeth.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you would be up this early." He said spitting out the foamy toothpaste.

I just nodded, turning to flee.

"I'm almost done in here anyway if you wanted to start your morning that's fine." He said awkwardly.

I turned back eying him. He held up both hands and exited the bathroom through the other door. I quickly locked both doors and ran the water. I stripped down and stepped into the spray. It felt good, so good I almost let out a soft groan as the tension left my body. As I stood there I thought quietly that I hated being there, nothing was right. I'd gone from one prison to the next. I tried to think about a quick way to get out. My only real option was to gain their trust and hope they let me out. Fury's plan was to keep me there until he thought that I could be on my own. I was sure that it would take a lot for them to trust me. I was a part of Hydra after all. I stopped myself from thinking anymore and got out of the shower. I hoped that they could remove my stitches the next day because they were annoying.

Several hours later I found myself staring out on of the many windows. Along with not being allowed to phase I was also not allowed to go outside unless someone was with me. Even Hydra allowed me outside. I hugged my knees tighter as I watched the peaceful trees and clouds. If this place weren't acting as my prison I would have loved it there. It was quiet even with the captain there, but he kept to himself. The house itself was beautiful, done mostly in tans, browns, and off whites. It was well lit from all of the windows letting in natural light.

I sat in that spot until it was 5:00. I then got up and went to the kitchen and took stock. There was more than enough food to feed ten of us for just over a week. I found what I wanted and began to throw things together until I had a meal for two. Five minutes before it was ready Steve walked in.

"Smells good." He said standing next to the stove with his arms crossed.

"It's Chicken Parmesan," I said, distracted.

"Is it easy to make?" He asked.

I nodded affirmatively but kept my mouth shut. We slipped back into silence as I started making the plates. He grabbed two glasses of water as I set the plates on the table and waited until he seated himself to sit down in the opposite chair.

The next day I woke up going through my morning routine until I heard a voice from everywhere.

"Sir, Miss Clair is here to see you." That must have been Jarvis.

I nodded and went to the living room where she sat talking to the Captain. She gave him a dazzling smile but he turned to look at me.

"Oh, Jayson, come here, let's see if you wound is healed enough to remove those stitches," Claire said overly excited.

I removed my shirt and walked over to her as she waved me over. She poked and prodded before I felt a slight tug and heard the scissors cut the sutures. It took her almost two minutes to get all of them out.

"There we go. Captain Rodgers, would you mind if I took him on a walk?" Claire asked.

"Not at all, try to stay away from the perimeter line." He warned.

"Can do. Jayson, does a walk sound good?" She asked touching my arm.

I nodded and we exited through the back door. We headed toward the woods.

"Have you been out here yet?" She questioned.

I shook my head inhaling the fresh air.

"You know, Steve isn't cruel, if you ever want to come out here, all you have to do is ask." She said.

I shrugged. I'd learned a long time ago to take what people say with a grain of salt. She sighed. She never got angry that I wasn't the talkative type but it seemed to make her sad. Fury just got frustrated.

"Jayson if you ever need anything you can tell Jarvis to text me. Or Steve. You're allowed to have contact with the outside world." She said softly before suddenly asking," Why'd you turn on Hydra?"

"I didn't. I was never on their side." I said.

She looked shocked," What do you mean?"

"Just what I said," I told her.

"That's interesting." She said.

I shrugged and she sighed again.

"We're getting too close to the perimeter," I said turning.

"How do you know?" She questioned.

" I can smell gunpowder. Fifty yards more and they'll be shooting at us without a second thought." I told her already walking back the way we'd come.

When we got back to the house I headed back to my room. She sat on the couch and began toying with her phone. Steve looked at us but didn't say anything until he thought I couldn't hear them.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I just need to let Fury know that Jayson said he was never on Hydra's side, meaning he was planning an escape for a while. I don't want to see Jayson hurt. If telling Fury and having him thrown back in a cell is what keeps him from doing something stupid then so be it." She said.

"Wait, he's finally eating and talking and showering. He'd let himself die in a cell. I'll keep a closer eye on him and with Jarvis also watching, I don't think he'd try anything. He's a smart kid." Steve argued.

"Are you sure? If he was found by Hydra the punishment would have been worse than being thrown in a cell." She defended.

"Just wait, if he seems like he's planning anything I'll report it," Steve said.

"Thank you, Captain. Oh, will you make sure he goes outside? I don't think he'll actually ask." She requested.

"Of course." Steve agreed.

I tuned them out after that. Sometimes it was worth having amazing hearing. She had good deductive skills but Steve was right, I wouldn't make a run for it. Not for the reasons he thought but still. At dinner, Steve was keeping an eye on me, forever true to his word.

"I don't expect you to believe me but I won't run," I said suddenly.

"You were ease dropping." He accused.

"Kind of hard not to when you can hear everything going on in the house." I reasoned.

"You didn't deny it." He stated.

"I don't make a habit of lying," I said bluntly.

"Then will you answer a question honestly?" He asked.

"Shoot," I replied.

"Why did you run from Hydra?" He questioned leaning forward.

"They murdered my parents, I was brought to Midgard from a sub-realm. We were here for six months before Hydra murdered them and took me to turn me into a weapon. I played the part of the well-trained dog until I found my opening." I said not looking at him.

"I'm sorry." He apologized.

"Why? It's not your fault. You were still frozen when that happened." I said.

"But it must have been hard." He sympathized.

I shrugged and slipped back into silence. Over the next week or so I went through the motions, trying to ignore the stiffness settling in my body as I worked out in the gym and did the school work that I'd agreed to do. Steve and I would go on a walk every other day but I found less joy in it than I had the first couple of times. I turned off the treadmill five minutes early panting heavier than I should have been. Within the next few days, I would start having flu-like symptoms and the stiffness would grow until I couldn't even leave the bed. I sighed to myself as I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My hands were trembling from the effort. As I brought the glass to my lips it slipped shattering on the floor.

"What happened?" I jumped at Fury's voice.

"It slipped," I said looking at my hand shocked. It was too soon, " I'll get it cleaned up."

I knelt down fumbling with the broken glass, it cut my hands several times before I had it all in the trash can and was mopping the water up. Fury and Steve just watched until I fled the room to take a shower. Once clean I got started on the school work, wiping out the entire week's worth before dinner. I walked to the kitchen to see Fury sitting at the table with Steve.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Steve asked Fury.

"Yes. I have some important things to talk to Jayson about." He said.

I nodded and made dinner being extra careful not to drop anything. Once everyone was at the table and eating Fury began to speak.

"Jayson, where was the base is in Brazil?" Fury asked.

I got up looking for paper and pen when I found it I wrote down the coordinates and handed it to Fury. He looked at it and nodded.

"Do you know where any other bases are?" He questioned.

I nodded taking the paper from him and writing down the other coordinates that I knew.

"Would you be willing to help us take these bases out?" Steve asked.

I shrugged. In all honesty, I didn't want to deal with Hydra anymore.

"Alright, I want you two to be ready to go tomorrow at 5:00 pm. I'll get the other's ready." Fury said.

The next night at the designated time we were boarding a jet, all of the Avengers eying me carefully. I ignored them but stood closer to Steve than I normally would have. I knew they didn't trust me but I still didn't want to be in the position to be attacked if I couldn't defend myself.

"We'll take the mongrel to a locked room," Clint said.

"Why? He hasn't done anything to warrant that." Steve snapped.

"Fury's orders. Clint, please refrain from the insults." Natasha said.

I let them put handcuffs on me and lead me to a comfortable holding cell. Clint tried to kill me with his eyes but didn't say anything as Natasha told me to call if I needed anything. I only nodded sitting in a corner. I sat there for several hours until the entire team walked in looking bloody but happy.

"Tomorrow we should throw a party," Tony said.

"And who's going to watch the kid?" Fury asked.

"We will. We can have it at the safe house." Tony grinned.

"Right, no chance of an AI hell bent on destroying the world of crashing it," Rhody said thoughtfully.

"One time and they never let it go." Tony rolled his eyes.

"So, what do you say? Party at your place?" Natasha asked.

"Sure," Steve said eyes on me.

The next night out prison was full of people, namely the Avengers but it was still too crowded and loud. I'd spent the better half of the day hanging over the toilet and now with the stiff joints, I could feel myself becoming irritated. Clint kept giving me looks and Bruce would look over wearily but almost everyone else ignored my existence. I tried to keep my anger under control never having been the type to snap at anything but it was getting harder. Eventually, I stood up and made my way upstairs followed by Steve.

"Jayson, what's wrong?" He asked.

"I shrugged and tried to move past him. He blocked my way pinning me between his arms and the wall.

"Talk to me. You've been acting weird all day." He said.

"I'm just tired. I would like to go to bed." I said barely a whisper.

"Are you sure that's all?" He asked eying me.

I nodded and he moved letting me into the room. I went to bed early, the next morning I woke up and had to sprint to the bathroom to puke not caring that Steve was in the shower. He got out wrapping a towel around his waist and rushed over.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

I shook my head before puking again.

"What's wrong?" He asked frantically but rubbing my back.

I flinched away from the touch feeling like it was breaking my body.

"Jarvis call Fury." He demanded hand moving from my body.

"Already done, Sir, he'll be here in fifteen minutes." The AI responded.

Those fifteen minutes were spent with me still puking and Steve trying to comfort me.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Fury demanded all but kicking the door down.

"I don't know," Steve said as I dry heaved.

"Jayson you have three seconds to talk." Fury yelled.

I tried but I was puking again but when I thought I could, I rasped out," Need to phase."

"That's stupid, do you think I was born yesterday?" He asked.

"Director, can we just let him if he promises to phase back in one minute. Then we can hear him out." Steve requested.

"Fine, but if he tries anything it's on you, Rodgers." Fury snapped.

"That's fine, I'll take the blame." He said.

"Well? What are you waiting for, an invitation?" Fury asked after several minutes.

"Move," I said choking out air.

Steve moved and I let the energy buzz through me until it burst out in fur, claws, and a tail. I shook my head feeling better instantly. I stretched my limbs feeling the stiffness slowly leave the joints. When I felt top notch again I phased back.

"Alright, now explain." Fury said.

"If a shifter doesn't phase every few weeks or so they become ill, have stiff joints, flu-like symptoms, the works. Eventually, we're unable to move and will either die of starvation or dehydration." I told him.

"You think that's something you should have told us beforehand?" He was angry.

"You wouldn't have believed me," I said looking at the floor.

"He's not wrong." Steve agreed.

Fury just scoffed, "You'll be allowed to phase from now on as long as Captain Rodgers is here to keep an eye on you."

"Thank you," I said softly to Steve after Fury stormed out.


	3. 2 The Warden

A few days later Steve and I sat in the living room watching the news Steve fidgeted looking like he wanted to say something. I glanced over every few minutes to see him still distressed.

"Enjoy the nice weather today because we're going to see a flow of continuous thunderstorms over the next week." The man on tv said.

I felt the chills work their way over my spine. I was terrified of thunderstorms. They always brought flashbacks of a time when I was still a child and being "house trained".

"Uh, since it's supposed to start storming tomorrow I wanted to know if you'd like to get some exercise outside while phased. Fury's only condition to you going outside though is being on a leash." That's why he was a bundle of nervous energy.

"How tight do you have to hold it?" It wasn't my first time being on a leash.

"Uh, it just has to be in my hand," Steve said shyly.

"Alright." I agreed. " When are we going?"

"Really? You don't have a problem with it?" He asked shocked.

"Yeah, did you really think the kid who can turn into a dog had never had a collar and leash on?"

"I'd never thought about it This isn't a punishment, it's just a precautionary measure." He said trying to make himself feel better. "Alright. I'm going to get that, you phase or wait here or both."

I shook my head very slightly amused at his rambling. He came back pulling a price tag off of a dark leather collar and leash. I phased and sat before him as he knelt down hooking it around my neck. He kept it loose and hooked the leash to it. When we got outside I kept my shoulder even with his leg like I'd been told to do so many times before. We walked the perimeter twice and headed back. Once inside he took off the collar and put them away while I phased back. It felt so good to be able to morph regularly.

"Hey, Sam told me that I should watch Bonnie and Clyde, do you want to watch it with me?" He questioned coming back.

"yeah, sure," I said sitting on the couch.

We watching the images flashing before us and listened to the sounds of yelling, promises of love, and gunfire. Afterward, I made dinner and we ate in silence. Steve seemed to enjoy and actually appreciate my cooking, something Hagstrom never did. He was a selfish man who only wanted more and better. Steve was different. After dinner, Steve said that he'd do the dishes. I nodded and let him be. When I got to my room I laid on the bed and thought about my parents. My father was a tall, broad man with light brown hair and chocolate eyes. He had dimples and straight teeth. My mother always said that I had his smile and his personality. He was quiet and reserved, preferring to sit back and watch, take the world in. My mother, on the other hand, stood five foot even with dark brown hair and sparkling gray eyes. She loved life and made the best of everything. She was like a fire, wild, untameable, and forever curious about the unknown She preferred action and chaos. not bad chaos just things constantly moving.

That's who she was, constantly in motion so she didn't get bored. My parents were a good pair. I'd gotten most of my looks from my mom. Standing five foot two and sharing her hair and eyes. She was beautiful. I smiled lightly to myself as I drifted off to sleep. I woke up as loud thunder rattled the windows. I shook as the lightning lit up my room. The terror coursed through my body as flashes of a young boy chained to a tree outside was tormented by Hydra agents. The cracks of thunder matching every foot, hand, and weapon that landed on the child's body. I covered my mouth to stop the sob from escaping my lips.

I could fight and take a beating. I could march into battle expecting it to be my last. I could face the world of the creatures that my parents warned me from. I couldn't face a thunderstorm. Nothing else reduced me to the eight-year-old sobbing and begging. I felt another wave of terror claw it's way through my being. I could almost see Hagstrom standing under the cover of the patio cover, eyes burning into me. Feel the disappointment rolling off of him. Hear his voice reminding me that I deserved the punishment.

I sat there for hours until I could finally get up and lock both doors. I knew that Steve could break the doors if he felt the need to. I pulled the blanket over my head and sobbed quietly to myself while the storm raged on. I wasn't sure how long I stayed in that position but when I finally moved after the storm seemed to stop, I was tired, stiff, and dehydrated. I also stunk. I got out of bed and rolled my shoulders with a satisfying pop. I grabbed clean clothes and took a long shower. When I was done, I gathered all of my dirty clothes including my sheets and put them in the washer. Afterward, I walked to the kitchen to grab water.

Steve was already there, staring at me intensely. I ignored him and made to leave when he moved to stand in front of me.

"Care to explain why you locked yourself in your room for five days? I thought we were making progress." He said.

"If you really wanted in then you could have busted the lock," I said casually sipping the water.

"I wouldn't do that. That's your room, your bit of privacy in this house." He said tightly. "You just vanished, though, locked yourself in your room and wouldn't even respond when I knocked."

"You knocked?" I hadn't heard him.

"Yes, several times a day. Jarvis even tried to get your attention." He snapped.

"Oh," I said stupidly.

"You had me worried." He almost shouted.

"Why? You don't have to worry about me. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself." I questioned.

"I made a promise to Fury to take care of you, to watch you, so I have every right to worry." He looked like he wanted to hit me. " Now answer my question. Why did you lock yourself in your room?"

"No." I defined him.

"Excuse me?" He looked baffled.

"I'm not telling you anything," I said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Jayson, I can't help you if you don't let me." He said a bit calmer now.

"Eu nao preciso da sua ajuda," I stated.

"Don't do that." He said getting angry again.

"Do what?" I questioned genuinely confused.

"Don't start speaking Portuguese I don't understand what you're saying." He snapped.

I shrugged and walked passed him. I went to the library at the back of the house and got on the school work that Maria had sent over. Halfway through I remembered the laundry and went to switch it over. I maneuvered carefully trying not to run into Steve, wanting nothing more than to avoid another confrontation. I got to the laundry room and finished the last of the work. When I was done I looked at the time and noticed that it was 5:15. I went to the kitchen and just started throwing things together.

At six Steve didn't show. I ate my food waiting but thirty minutes later he still didn't make an appearance.

"Jarvis?" I questioned feeling weird about talking to the walls.

"Yes, sir?" He responded.

"Can you let Steve know that his plate is on the table?" I requested.

"Of course, Sir." He said.

I got up and walked to my room. My bed was made and laundry was folded and sitting on the blanket. I put the clothing away and laid down finally able to sleep for the first time in five days. I woke up and pushed myself up on my arms looking at the alarm clock, of course, it was 5:45 in the morning. I yawned getting up and carefully stepped into the bathroom. It was empty. I hopped in the shower and worked the soap over my body and through my hair. Once I was rinsed off I turned the water off and walked to my room grabbing something random to wear. I slipped on my clothes and went to the kitchen grabbing an apple. I sat on the counter taking a bite. Steve walked in shortly after, he paused for a second, eyes raking over me. I shifted and kept eating my apple. He went to the fridge pulling out a bottle of water. I wrinkled my nose when I realized that he smelled strong of sweat.

"Do I smell bad or something?" He questioned.

"Yes, you need a shower," I replied covering my nose with my arm.

"I just went for a run. I shouldn't smell that bad." He said smelling himself.

"Hyper sense of smell," I said.

"Oh, right." He replied leaving, to hopefully take a shower.

After breakfast, I sat in the living room and stared at the blank tv for a while until Steve came down. He had a sketch pad in one hand and pencils in the other. He sat across the room opening the book and began working. I watched him until I became bored of that, then I hopped up and leaned on the back of his chair.

"What are you drawing?" I asked.

"Just a picture." He said trying to hide it.

"Show me," I demanded lightly.

He sighed and did. The picture was of a young man sitting on a counter eating an apple, making a face like something smelled bad. The worse part was it looked like me. My heart fluttered.

"It's me," I said stupidly.

"Yeah, uh." He paused not knowing what to say.

Anger flared through me suddenly and I snatched the paper without thinking and crumpled it up.

"Pore que voce desenhara uma foto minha? Nao faca de novo! Voce nao deve mostrar afeicao ao seu prisioneiro." I snapped throwing the crumpled paper at him and stormed out of the house, leaving him looking as confused as I felt.

I couldn't fathom why I was so upset about it. It was a beautiful drawing but the anger seared through my veins like hot lava. It was a nice gesture but I couldn't see past my own hurt to realize that. My thoughts were going a mile a minute. Why would he be so stupid? Things like that were meant for friends or family. People you cared about. He didn't care beyond his mission. He couldn't, I told myself. I wasn't watching where I was going as I berated him mentally. Because of that, I didn't notice the agent until the boot collided with my chest. Winded, I hit the ground.

"Jayson Moore has been detained, Captain." I heard a deep voice say.

I groaned as I tried to breath around the napped rib and torn muscle.

"Copy that, I'll be there in two minutes."I heard Steve say over static.

"Mr. Moore you are to stay in that spot until Captain Rodgers has arrived. If you fail to comply my orders are to open fire." The man said.

"Or you could just kick me in the chest again." I rasped.

The man remained silent until Steve got there.

"Thank you, Agent Young. I'm sorry you had to leave your post." Steve said.

"I'd rather have stopped him then let him escape." Agent Young said.

Steve helped me up and informed the foot happy agent," He wasn't trying to escape. He just needed some time to think."

The agent just scoffed and left. Steve put one of my arms around his waist and put his arm around my upper back keeping me steady. I dropped my arm not really liking the contact.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked once we could see the house through the trees.

"Aside from the broken ribs and bruised chest?" I asked voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You brought that on yourself. You know you're not allowed to leave the house without someone with you." He said in full Captain mode.

"Nao, isso e culpa sua. Se voce nao tirou aquela foto estupido que eu nunca teria deixodo, idiota." I snapped, pushing him away.

"I told you to stop that. You shouldn't have stormed out." He almost shouted.

"Whatever, 'Captain'," I said as I walked away.

"No, you're not walking away from your problems. You need to stop clamming up." He said grabbing my arm.

"Let go of me," I said trying to internalize my panic.

"No, I don't know what your thing is with being touched but you need to get over it. I'm not going to hurt you." He seemed almost pleading.

"Whatever." I said as I quit trying to pull away from him.

"Let's go inside and talk." He said taking a step toward the house.

I let myself be dragged toward the house, once inside he took a seat at the table and motioned for me to do the same. I sighed and sat down. We were both tense and the silence between us was so thick I doubted it could have been out with a knife.

"We should get something to compress your chest," Steve said calmly, getting up.

"No, this was my fault. I don't want anything to compress my chest." I snapped.

"You're right, we should ice it first." He said crouching next to me.

I looked down at him as he grabbed my shirt.

"Don't touch me!" I shouted.

My arm hit his arm against the table, his arm bounced back, the back of his hand striking the side of my face causing me to fall backward out of my chair. My temple connected with the floor causing my head to swim. The next thing I knew I was being pulled up right and Steve's face was in front of mine looking concerned.

"Jayson, answer me," Steve said.

"I'm sorry?" I questioned now fearful.

"I asked if you were okay." He repeated.

"I'm fine," I said stoically.

"Alright, good. Can I please wrap your chest?" He asked.

"Yeah," I responded already removing my shirt.

He seemed taken aback by my sudden willingness to comply but I didn't want to give him another excuse to hit me. He nodded and went to go get the bandages. His words from outside echoed in my head, "I'm not going to hurt you". But he lied. I wasn't sure what I had expected. I was his prisoner and he could treat me any way he saw fit. Nobody would stop him. Nobody would care to. I swallowed as my thoughts sunk in. He'd been lenient before, now he'd be like Hagstrom and all of his Hydra buddies. I steeled myself after faltering. The only thing I could do now was trying to stop myself from flinching when he touched my chest.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you." He said quietly when he was done.

I just nodded afraid to speak.

"Are you hungry or anything?" He asked.

I shook my head stopping the tremble trying to work its way through my body.

"Alright. Uh, you can go now." He said the talk he wanted to have completely forgotten about.


	4. 3 One Step Closer

I woke up wincing in pain. A dual headache making itself known for the third morning in a row. The tightness in my chest not having gotten any better, yet. I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom making sure Steve wasn't in there first. When I was sure it was clear I went in grimacing at the bruise across my cheek and jaw and the almost broken skin on the temple disappearing almost into the hairline. My torso didn't look any better than my face.

After getting clean I got dressed and went to the kitchen. I got to work cleaning it from top to bottom, then I moved to the living room. Halfway through Steve walked in.

"Jayson, have you been cleaning all morning?" He questioned.

I swallowed hard, nodding my head.

"Oh, why don't you take a break and take a walk with me?"He suggested.

I only shrugged.

"Shrugging isn't an answer. It was a yes or no question." He said.

"Sure," I said flinching.

We went outside and the afternoon sun felt great on my skin. We walked down a different way than we normally did. The air smelt slightly more damp over there. The silence stretched between us until Steve broke it.

"Are you taking care of your injuries?" He asked.

"yes." A lie.

"Good, how is your school work going?"He questioned.

"Fine." Another lie, I'd been neglecting both.

"You know, I don't know why you're lying. Jarvis and Maria have let me know that you're not doing either." He said stopping and crossing his arms.

I cringed.

"So, do you want to explain?" He asked.

I took a step away from him. "I've been busy." I stuttered out.

"Cleaning things that aren't dirty?" It was more of a statement than a question.

I shrugged.

"What's going on?" He bit out.

"Nothing," I said flinching as his arm raised.

He looked shocked and lowered his arm.

"Let's go back to the house." He said turning on his heel and walking away.

I followed behind him, watching the ground. The walk back was silent. When we got back to the house I started the school work that Maria had sent over. I could hear Steve talking to someone but didn't bother to listen to what he was saying.

Third POV

"Tony, I need help," Steve said hoping Jayson wasn't listening in.

"Sure what's going on?" The billionaire asked.

Steve explained briefly what happened between the housemates three nights before.

"Tony, I really need to fix this, the kid thinks I'm just going to start beating on him all the time." Steve pleaded.

"Don't buy him anything that he'd allergic to. I made that mistake once with pepper. Does that help?" Tony asked.

"Not really, I'll call Bruce," Steve said.

"Yeah, do that." Tony agreed before hanging up.

Steve groaned inwardly and called Bruce.

"Hey Steve, what do I owe this pleasure?" Bruce greeted.

"Bruce, I need advice," Steve said continuing on to explain what happened.

"And it was an accident?" Bruce confirmed.

"Yes, just a knee jerk reaction that I couldn't stop in time." He said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You need to learn to control yourself better around him." The Doctor said.

"Thanks, Bruce," Steve said hanging up.

He sighed in frustration then another person popped into his head. He quickly dialed the number waiting for an answer.

"Hey Captain, I'm kind of busy right now," Rhody said, the sounds of combat raging in the background.

"Please, Rhody I need your help." Steve once again pleaded.

"Alright, what's going on?" Rhody asked.

Steve once again explained. Rhody was shot at until he kicked the person, hard in the chest.

"I'm trying to help a friend, you're being rude," Rody said to one of the many henchmen. "Sorry about that. Alright here's what you do..."

The line went dead and steve sighed

Jayson's POV

I finished the school work and laid my head down on the computer desk, taking a deep breath. In thirty minutes I'd have to start dinner but I didn't want to face the warden. His mood swings were starting to make my head spin. Had I'd known he'd have lost his temper and struck me then I would never have pushed him in the first place. I sat up and slowly made my way to the kitchen. I started on dinner and relaxed at the normalcy of it. The small escape didn't last long once Steve entered the kitchen. My whole body tensed which made it difficult to hang on to anything.

"Jayson, you don't have to cook every night. You are allowed to say no." He said.

I didn't say anything in return.

"I'm sorry for hitting you. It was a knee-jerk reaction. I swear it'll never happen again." He said sighing.

"You said you wouldn't hurt me." I sounded exactly like the kid I pretended not to be.

"I know and it'll never happen again." He promised pleadingly.

I just shrugged. He walked closer to me and my body tensed impossibly. He sighed returning to his spot.

"What are you making?" He asked.

"Steak," I said mixing the cranberry reduction.

"Sounds good, when will it be done?" he asked.

"In five minutes," I informed him.

He nodded moving carefully around me to grab plates and silverware. I tensed again but tried to hide it.

Third POV

Over the next few days Steve called Wanda, Vision, Thor, and Sam. Wanda offered to warp Jayson's reality so he wouldn't remember it, which Steve turned down saying that avoiding the situation would make him a hypocrite because he was trying to get Jayson to stop doing that very thing.

Vision told him to apologize. Steve explained that he had and Vision not understanding the true emotions on both sides asked if he'd done it correctly. Steve wasn't sure he had but thought that saying sorry should have been enough.

Thor told him to make a romantic gesture, like destroying something, like mount Rushmore and rebuilding something in that spot for the world to see. Steve told him there were no romantic feelings between them and Thor was at a loss.

Sam suggested that he draw the kid something with his "Mad Skills". Steve explained how that was the cause of Jayson walking on in the first place. Then Sam suggested a date, which Steve, once again said that there were no romantic feelings between them. Sam just laughed.

Steve waited for Clint to answer on the fourth day.

"Hey, Capsicle." Clint greeted.

"Clint, I need help," Steve explained for the eighth time what had happened.

"Hit him again," Clint said.

"That seems counterproductive." Steve reasoned.

"It'll either make it worse or snap him out of it," Clint said.

"Clint, I'm not going to hit him again," Steve said with finality.

"Fine ask Nat, she's better at this," Clint suggested.

"I'll do that. Thanks anyway." Steve hung up.

Steve waited until the next day to call up Natasha. She answered and Steve repeated the something he'd told the others.

"Have him fight it out with Agent Sparkles. Trust me." Nat said referring to Agent Young.

"Are you sure about that?" Steve asked.

"Yes, it won't completely make everything go away but it'll help him start moving in the right direction," Nat explained.

Jayson POV

"we're going for a walk," Steve informed me as he walked by the library.

I stood and followed him without arguing even though I did not want to go on another walk with him. When we'd got outside we were greeted by Agent Young. He stood looking ready for a fight.

"Alright, I want you to fight. The only two rules are that it isn't going to end in death or hospitalization." Steve said.

"I don't want to do this," I said fully prepared for a beating for defying him.

"Then prepare to just defend yourself," Steve said.

Agent Young took a swing at me that I blocked. He went to kick me but I twisted so he missed. It went on like that for a while until we got too close to Steve. The agent kicked out, I dodged and his foot made contact with Steve's sternum. He didn't budge or act like he was in any pain but the kick still made me angry. I snapped retaliating with a kick of my own. It hit his arm forcing him back and the crack coming from his shoulder was oddly satisfying.

"Alright, that's enough," Steve said grabbing me and pulling me away from the downed agent.

"Please don't touch me." I bit out trying to calm myself down.

The captain released me with a smile. He helped the agent up and the shoot hands. I watched them carefully. Steve turned toward me grinning.

"You did a number on him," Steve told me walking toward the house.

I followed him while Agent Young headed the other way. Once we got inside I could feel the happiness rolling off of Steve.

"Good boy, now sit," Steve commanded playfully.

"Fuck you," I said crossing my arms.

"Language," Steve said looking more serious.

My jaw dropped," Did you just seriously say 'Language'?"

"Yes." He confirmed.

I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up my throat. He'd really just told me to watch my language. Once I started laughing I couldn't stop. Soon my sides were aching and I could barely hold myself up.

"If you're done let's watch a movie," Steve suggested slightly irritated.

"Yeah, sure," I said wiping my tears away.

Steve put on a random movie and sat on the couch. I sat on the opposite end throwing my feet in his lap. I could feel his eyes on me for a minute until he looked away again. On movie number two I felt him shift and one arm draped across my legs. I expected to feel fear or anger or something. Nothing happened and I continued to lay across the couch with my feet in his lap content.

The days passed by quickly. Walks, training, and movie became the norm between us. I hadn't laughed again but I found myself smiling more. it had been three weeks since the day Steve forced me to fight Agent Young, four weeks since he had struck me, and two months, two weeks and three days since my imprisonment. I blocked Steve's kick aimed at my head. I grabbed his leg and pulled him closer so I could get him on the floor.

We hit the ground and Steve's arms wrapped around my head and neck in a sleeper hold. I threw my elbow back into his ribs but it didn't work. My vision soon started going black and Steve let go rolling away from me. I took deep breaths until my vision came back. Steve stood over me grinning and offering a hand. I took it and was pulled up.

"here," Steve said sitting next to me and handing me a bottle of water.

"Thanks," I said sipping in.

"Fury wants me to take you on a walk around people. To test how you act around them. He wants us to go this afternoon in Central Park." Steve said.

"Alright, I can handle that," I told him.

"One more thing, he wants you to be in your other form," Steve said shyly.

I smirked. Fury's test wouldn't prove anything against me. That afternoon we were walking into Central Park. It was a Sunday and parents had brought their children to play on the beautiful day. We were five steps in when a group of young girls ran over to us.

"Hey mister, can we pet your dog?" One of the girls asked.

"Sure thing," Steve said.

I was very tempted to bite him but these girls were just normal kids. The children in this all gathered around me running their fingers through my fur gently. They all commented on my looks in this form and that I was such a good. I stood calmly letting their tiny hands roam my body until they were done. They said thank you and went on their way.

"Are you okay, Jayson?" Steve asked quietly as we continued.

I nodded as best as I could.

The next person we came across was a woman who was jogging. She slowed to a stop as soon as she laid eyes on me.

"Oh! Your dog is so cute, may I pet him?" She asked.

"Yeah, go ahead," Steve said as she crouched down.

Her hands caressed my face, head, and neck. She smiled and cooed at me sweetly. I sat down letting her basically have her way with me. I could smell the leftover cocaine in her system. The smell was slightly irritation but I could handle it. She gave Steve a flirtatious grin thanking him and jogging away. We continued on our walk for about five minutes until I started to feel weird. The last normal paced thought to cross my mind before I took off running was it must have been on her clothes not in her system. Steve ran next to me giving me a glance every once in a while. We ran for about twenty minutes before I felt myself dropping from the high. I stopped by a shady area with benches. I laid next to one and Steve sat down.

"Jayson, what was that?" Steve whispered.

I tucked my ears back and closed my eyes not realizing when I fell asleep. I blinked my eyes waking up some time later. Steve was still sitting on the bench nest to me. I stood up stretching, glad that my body normally worked through drugs quickly.

"Are you ready to finish our walk?" He asked.

I replied by tugging the leash. He laughed and we continued walking until a young woman with a one or two-year-old son stopped us.

"I'm sorry to bother you but may we pet your dog?" She asked.

"Sure," Steve said.

She knelt down with him, showing him the proper way to pet an animal. A couple of times he got a bit rough but she quickly corrected him.

"He's so tolerant." She commented.

"yeah, he is. This is the first time he's really dealt with children" Steve said.

At that point the young boy brushed my nose, small fingers touching the hairs inside. I sneezed, loudly. The smell of piss filled my nose as the boy began to cry. His mother shushed him telling him it was only a sneeze while the captain apologized profusely. We quickly left after apologizing once more. She smiled and reassured us that we'd done nothing wrong before saying goodbye. We walked for a bit longer until a familiar scent filled my nostrils. I stopped. Steve looked in the direction the smell had come from. Hagstrom stood with several Hydra agents a ways away.

"Jayson, run," Steve said dropping the leash.

I turned sprinting away. I almost didn't notice the sound of people screaming as the sound of gunfire filled the air. I continued to run even though I was itching to turn and join the fight. But in this form, I wasn't as flexible and would be more vulnerable to the bullets. I continued to run until I was thoroughly worn out then I felt something encircle my neck. I panicked turning and struggling.

"You're okay boy, we're not gonna hurt you." A round man said holding the stick attached to my neck.


	5. 4 Enter Wolves

My heart raced as I was put in the back of a truck that belonged to animal welfare.

"I hope his owner comes for him. He's too pretty to be put down." The round man said to the woman.

"He's so scared. I think his person will be searching for him." She reassured him.

They shut the door and began to drive. I tried to hold in my whimper but failed at the thought of the fight that I had run away from. Steve may not have made it, then it'd be a race between shield and hydra to get to me. Hydra would punish me severely for running away. Shield would think it was all a trap and lock me back up. Either way, if Steve didn't find me first I was screwed. When the truck came to a stop and the engine turned off I cringed. I heard them walk around and the lock click. The door opened and bright sunlight blinded me. I turned my face away as they grabbed the leash still attached to my collar. They gave a light tug and I followed.

The shelter smelled like piss and wet dogs. The two people led me to a holding cage and placed me led me in. The round man crouched down while the woman left. The man petted me giving me a sympathetic look. The woman came back with food and water, laying both bowls down in the corner.

"There we go. Hopefully, your owner comes soon." The woman said kindly.

She didn't look hopeful. They'd probably seen this hundreds of times. A dog comes in well fed and loved then the owners never care enough to come and get them. I laid in one corner curling around myself. I wanted steve to be there. I didn't want Hagstrom and I didn't want Fury. I whimpered quietly.

what felt like days later, the round man came back. He had a grin on his face and was unlocking my door in no time. I couldn't bring myself to be happy though, anyone could be in the lobby waiting for me. He took my leash and led me away from the safety of the cell and to whatever fate awaited me. The walk was over all too quickly before he was pushing open the door. My heart soared when Steve's scent surrounded me. I ran to him yanking the leash out of the man's hands. I jumped up and hit his chest with my nose. I couldn't contain my excitement.

"Jayson! I'm glad you're okay." He said petting me.

"he's such a beautiful and sweet dog. I'm glad you came for him. He was depressed when we picked him up." the woman said.

"yeah, we've never been separated like this," Steve said.

"Well sir, you have a wonderful evening." The man said.

Steve led me out and into a van he put me into the passenger seat and shut the door. Once driving I phased back and put my seatbelt on taking off the collar.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine. What about you?" He questioned.

"I'm okay." I replied."We're in trouble, huh?"

"Big trouble. Fury is raging, but don't worry, I won't let him throw you in a cell." Steve smiled.

"Thank you," I said.

"For what?" He asked puzzled.

"Not just handing me over to hydra and sparing yourself the fight, for coming to get me, for having my back against Fury," I said feeling a blush creeping onto my cheeks. I'd never said thanks for actually being grateful, only because I knew I was supposed to.

"I would have never handed you over to hydra, or left you at the pound, and I'll always have your back if you're in the right." He swore.

I smiled lightly feeling warm and... Happy? I couldn't really place it but that's the only thing I could think of. When we got back Fury was waiting for us, Steve kept his body in front of mine to shield me. I couldn't fathom his protective behavior but it was unfolding before my eyes.

"Captain Rodgers, stand down we're taking him back to shield and locking him away." Fury said.

"No can do Director. Jayson is innocent." Steve said going full Captain mode.

"he set up a trap and tried to escape, Clint was shot," Fury Shouted.

"No, he didn't. He alerted me to the Hydra agents, I dropped the leash and told him to run. He was following my instructions." Steve defended.

"I don't believe that. I think you've found a friend and don't want to lose him. He can't replace Bucky!" Fury snapped.

Steve faltered," He can't replace Bucky and he's not trying to. Friend or not, he's innocent. I won't let you punish him for something he didn't do."

"Tell me, Mr. Moore, how'd you contact Hydra?" Fury asked.

"I didn't," I said furrowing my brow.

"you've already decided that he's guilty," Steve said accusingly.

"If you're so dead set on him being innocent that's fine. Agent Romanov will be here first thing in the morning. Obviously, you can't handle watching him alone." Fury said walking passed us. " And be warned, when he slips up again, and he will, I'll send in a squad and make sure he never sees the light of day again."

Fury left with a slam of the door and Steve turned toward me. he gave me a sympathetic look. he looked like he wanted to touch me and I wanted to be touched but I wouldn't have said so. if he'd decided that physical contact was the best form of comfort at that moment I would have taken it.

"Jayson, no matter what I won't let you become a prisoner again." He said seriously.

I gave him a sad smile," Captain, I've always been a prisoner, always will be. Despite me being able to move I still am."

He sighed deeply and nodded. I walked passed him and up to my room. I grabbed clothes that I could sleep in and went to the bathroom. I shut the door and started the shower. I didn't want to sulk but I couldn't stop myself. I didn't know the Russian well but I knew from her profile that she did whatever shield wanted. If they wanted her to find anything that could be distorted to make me look guilty, she would, without fail. I washed away the day's events and got dressed after drying off. I walked back to my room and crawled into bed.

I tossed and turned all night waking up every thirty minutes of so from the nightmares. In the morning I got up and got dressed. I went straight to the library even though Maria wouldn't send any more work for another few days I grabbed some random book and began reading. I was just a few chapters in when Natasha entered the room.

"Hey, how do you feel?" She questioned when I looked at her.

"Fine," I said guarded.

"Are you and Steve getting along again?" She asked.

"We get along fine," I said.

"Then having you fight Agent Sparkles worked? Good, I figured it'd help." She gave me a soft smile.

"That was your idea?" I questioned.

"Yeah, Steve was pretty upset about hitting you. He just wanted to make it right." She said sitting down.

"Why are you telling me this?" I couldn't help but be suspicious.

"I want you to know that I'm not your enemy. I was at central park. I know you're innocent." She said.

"Forgive me if I'm not quick to trust," I said.

"I didn't think you would be and I don't blame you." She said. " Steve did tell me you're a good cook though, so you'll cook for me at least once while I'm here right?"

"Dinner will be ready at six," I said reopening my book.

"Awesome." She said leaving.

I continued reading until I was finished. It only took me a couple of hours and sitting there any longer would drive me crazy. I got up to look for Steve. he was sitting in the living room, blank sketch pad on his lap, fingers twitching.

"What are you doing?" I asked, sitting next to him.

"I want to draw but I can't think of anything." He said sounding frustrated.

"I guess this one and only time you can draw me." I sighed sounding exasperated.

"Can if be in your other form, outside?" He asked.

"Sure." I agreed.

Natasha, Steve, and I walked to a spot in the middle of the woods. Natasha sat by a tree and I phased laying in the grass. Steve sat about twenty yards away and began drawing. I let the breeze calm me while Steve drew me carefully. I sat in the same position for a couple of hours until Steve paused and looked passed me. I slowly turned my head to see a pack of wolves staring at us curiously. I slowly stood and walked over to them. The two up front were the Alpha male and female. They approached me to keep a possible threat away from the pack. `I allowed them to finish crossing the distance until they were close enough to start sniffing at me. I help my head still and let them do their thing until they gave me the okay to do the same. These two were very unusual wolves, to come so close to two humans regardless of hour curious they were. The female butted her head against my side and I pushed back. The male nipped at my shoulder in warning when the sudden movement startled him. I snapped my teeth together to let him know that I wouldn't be intimidated.

Steve and Natasha continued to watch on in wonder. Both not quite sure what was going on. One of the other wolves approached, this one young, not even a year old. He sniffed at me while rubbing his body against mine to show that he meant no harm. The alpha rubbed his head against my neck before the tree of them went back to the others. The alpha looked at me with wise eyes before throwing his head back to release a howl. It was the saddest thing I'd ever heard as the others joined in. I couldn't figure out where all of the pain and sorrow was coming from but when the sound died down they gave me knowing looks before turning and leaving. I watched the woods previously occupied by them until Steve cleared his throat.

"I turned and looked at him. He stood and showed me the finished picture. I phased back walking toward him and Natasha.

"So you can communicate with wolves too?" Natasha said.

"Sort of. I communicate with them like they do their own. Body language and pitches of their howls." I explained.

"Does that mean you're related to wolves?" Steve asked.

"Sort of. It's a long story. Maybe you'll hear it sometime." I said giving him a smile.

"Sounds good." Steve agreed.

"So about that dinner you promised," Natasha said suggestively.

Steve and I both smiled and we headed back to the house. Once there I made dinner and we all sat at the table to eat. Natasha looked like she was in heaven, paying me compliments that I honestly had no idea how to respond to. Instead, Steve settled for talking about the good food and the cook like I wasn't there. I was thankful for not really having the attention on my physical presence. Once dinner was done Natasha said that she and Steve would do the dishes, explaining that the person that cooked should not be doing the dishes when they cooked for others. I didn't argue but ran upstairs to go to my bed. When I was dressed in shorts I laid on my stomach and went to sleep.


	6. 5 Dreams

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. I groaned inwardly and looked at the clock. I'd overslept by two hours. I sat up testing my body. I wasn't getting sick but that headache was killing me. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to rummage around the medicine cabinet. There I found regular strength Tylenol and popped a few in my mouth not really caring about the recommended dosage. Once it was put away I walked downstairs to the kitchen where Natasha sat sipping coffee.

"Good morning." She said glancing at me.

"Morning." I greeted back getting a glass of water.

"You're up later than normal, Steve wanted to go check on you but I convinced him to let you sleep." She informed me.

"Yeah, I woke up with this killer headache. I guess it would have been worse if I'd woken up at 5:45." I told her.

"Have you taken anything for it?" She questioned.

"Yeah," I confirmed.

"Good, if that doesn't help let me know." She said.

"Will do," I said sipping the water.

"What are your plans for the day?" She was inquisitive.

"Nothing as of right now. Nothing sounds amusing." I informed her.

"Then would you mind sitting with me for a few hours? I want to get to know you a bit more. You remind me of someone." She requested.

"Yeah, sure. I wouldn't mind at all." I agreed.

"So, the night that Steve hit you, why'd you get so bent out of shape about him drawing you?" She questioned and I flinched.

"I honestly couldn't tell you," I said.

"Why did you shove his hand away?"

"I'm not a big fan of physical contact," I answered honestly.

"I see. So do you mind telling me why you locked yourself in your room for five days? That isn't healthy." She advised.

I sighed. " I hate thunderstorms. Have for a long time."

"Steve would have helped you. He knows what it's like to be haunted by memories." She informed me.

"Like the war and the ice. It was honestly better for me to be alone." I stated.

"Maybe. Then again, maybe not. I have info on you just like you do on us. Next time there's a storm I want you to try to stay around either Steve and myself, let your subconscious mind also realize that we're not going to tie you up and beat you." She suggested.

"I can't promise anything," I responded.

"As long as you try, I'll be happy. So on to something lighter. What's your favorite color?" She changed the subject.

"Purple," I answered quickly.

The conversation went on like that. Simple questions that I could answer for the most part. I was so lost in what must have been a normal conversation to normal people that I lost track of time until Steve came in to ask if we wanted to watch a movie. Natasha and I both agreed and we gathered in the living room. Natasha picked the movie and we settled around the room. The movie she chose was some comedy. I found myself smiling at the stupid jokes.

After the movie, Steve randomly threw a pillow at me. I threw it back hitting him in the face. Natasha laughed and he threw it at her. She dodged it and continued to laugh. I grinned.

"What was that for?" I questioned.

"You just looked like you needed to be hit with a pillow." He told me.

I pouted and the guilt was immediately there. Natasha just laughed harder. I blinked several times letting my eyes fill with obvious moisture. Steve started to panic.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, please don't cry." He said holding both hands up.

I let one tear escape and allowed my bottom lip to quiver a bit. Natasha was trying to stop laughing long enough to catch her breath.

"I'm so sorry, please don't cry." He pleaded.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing," Captain, how do you survive a fight? A pout and a tear make you feel guilty."

It was Steve's turn to pout. Natasha and I shared another laugh but I found myself thinking that the Captain's pout was cute.

"You're grounded." He told me.

"Oh, no whatever will I do?" I laughed.

"Go to your cage like a good boy." Steve teased.

I pouted again showing him my middle finger. He gave me a look and Natasha muttered "language". We shared another laugh. Steve crossed his arms.

That night I had a strange dream. There was a nameless, faceless person that was on a bed with me. They kissed me gently and ran a hand down my body. I released a light moan letting the sensations bite freely at me. The whispered "good boy" and kissed my neck. The new feelings rushed through me. The scene around me changed a bit. My arms were restrained above my head and the person shushed me. I felt their mouth on my neck trailing down my body until they reached a part of my body that had never been touched before. I let out a choked cry as the pleasure surged through my body as their mouth worked me.

I jolted awake, breathing hard, sticky wetness covering my skin and sitting in a puddle between my legs. I began to panic. That could not have been normal. I jumped up running to the bathroom to shower, once done I grabbed one of the many red clothes and tried to clean the white sheets. When it didn't work I threw the cloth down and ripped the sheets off of the bed taking them to the laundry room along with my soiled clothing. I had just shoved everything into the washer when Steve walked in.

"What are you washing?" He asked.

"Whites," I answered blandly.

"Do you have room for a few shirts?" He didn't know but I felt like he did.

"Uh, yeah." I took them from him and put them in the washing machine before turning it on.

"You up for sparring?" He questioned.

"Sure, will Natasha be joining us?" I asked.

"No, she's gone shopping, said that it looked like we were getting low on some stuff." He informed me.

"Oh, alright," I said as we got to the gym.

Sparring only took a couple of hours with Steve beating me easily. I was too distracted by the odd images that my subconscious had conjured up the previous night.

"What's on your mind?" He questioned.

"Huh? Oh, nothing." I said quietly.

"Right, if you want to talk about it, I'm here." He assured me.

"Thanks, but there's nothing to talk about," I told him.

"Okay, I'm going to go change over the laundry." He said.

I nodded and made my way to the library. Maria had sent over the school work and I got on it hoping to make the thoughts that I didn't understand go away. I blazed through the school work and decided to read a book. I was half way through it when Steve walked in holding what use to be a white shirt. I looked from the ruined clothing to his face trying to gauge his mood.

"Jayson, next time you wash whites you need to make sure that there is no red washcloth in the machine." Obviously not happy.

"Is Captain America too much of a man to wear pink? Can't be mistaken for one of those homosexuals?" I teased.

His face lit up in a dark blush," That's not the point!"

My brain clicked," Steve, are you gay?"

"Of course not." He snapped.

"You know honesty is a two-way street. If you are, just tell me. It'll stay between us." I told him.

He looked torn. "I don't know what you're talking about. I can't be gay." He said sounding more unsure.

"And why not? Because it was a different time and homosexuality obviously didn't exist back then? More times than not you wouldn't get judged now. Nobody really cares and nobody would have to find out." I reasoned.

"Then why does it matter?" He questioned.

"Because if you are then you need to accept it," I responded.

"Alright, I'm gay, are you happy?"He snapped.

"That you admitted it? Yes. That you still haven't come to terms with it? No." I answered simply.

"How do you come to terms with something that you've been told is wrong and a sin your whole life?" He sighed sitting across from me.

"I don't believe in a God but if he does exist then I'm sure there would be something worse than being gay. Like, I don't know, murder?" I said.

He nodded," Maybe. Back then they were treated on equal terms."

"Well, this isn't your time. And, in this time people generally don't care." I told him. "There are many celebrities that are gay and haven't lost their fan base or a lot of people that don't get any less appreciation for what they do because of their orientation."

"That's fine but for now I'd like to keep it between us." He said.

"I can do that." I agreed.

"Thank you." He said.

Natasha came back shortly and we helped her unload the bags. She was grinning to herself. All too soon I figured out why. she had bought a game console and about fifty games. I remembered some of the other kids talking about video games but never held any interest in their recollections of them. It's not like I wasn't willing to try it but I was very unsure. Natasha hooked it up and showed us how to work it. We both just nodded stupidly.

"Oh, speaking of gaming, Clint, Tony, Thor, and Bruce are coming over tomorrow night. Tony's bringing board games." She informed us.

"Is bringing Clint here is a good Idea?" Steve questioned.

"Steve, they have to learn to be in the same room together." Natasha reasoned.

"They? Nat, we both know that it's Clint. He's the problem." Steve argued.

"I know but they'll have to work together at some point," Natasha told him.

"Work together? What do you mean?" I asked.

"Steve, you did tell him?" She questioned.

"I planned to, closer to time." He said crossing his arms.

"Tell me what?" I asked starting to get annoyed.

"That we're taking a trip to Mongolia to take out one of the hydra bases in a month." Natasha explained." And we'll need your help."

"Steve, why didn't you just tell me?" I questioned.

"Because you wanted to stay out of the action." He defended.

"Then you but honesty is a two-way street," I repeated.

"How about a movie?" Natasha suggested changing the subject.

Steve and I agreed and ended up sitting on the couch together. I laid back and propped my feet up on his lap. He put one hand on my legs. My breath hitched noticing how big his hands were. I relaxed my body not wanting him to think I was uncomfortable with him touching me now that I'd known the truth. Honestly, I didn't care but I was now noticing the muscles occasionally flexing in his thigh. While they were distracted I tried to sort through my strange thoughts. I'd never noticed things so... Attractive about people. In fact, I'd never found anything attractive. I'd never found that strange but the things I was feeling and thinking were very strange. The dreams I'd had the previous night were strange.

Of course, I knew about sexual attractions. It was the reason that we had our own rooms at the Hydra base. They feared that we'd be more inclined to do what most teenagers did, experiment with our sexuality. Reproduce, spread STDs, or worst in their eyes, develop feelings. If we developed feels for another "classmate" we would be more likely to rebel. Hydra wanted to keep us as compliant as possible which was why they tried to pick us up when we were still young. That's also why they never had open-ended questions during our classes or asked us to write opinionated essays. If we had an opinion we'd be punished or worse.

Here I still had my own room, Steve and I were friends at best so my attraction couldn't have been toward him but toward certain qualities, I deduced. He was an admiral individual so it could have been misplaced hero worship, I also reasoned. I tried to believe both of those. It had to be true.

"Are you alright?" Steve whispered.

"I'm fine, why?" I whispered back.

"Your legs keep shifting, do I need to move my hand?" He was considerate.

"No, I'm just thinking." I told him.

"About what?" He questioned.

"Nothing important. I promise." I said almost pleadingly.

He nodded letting it go. He also went to move his hand away from my knee. I grabbed his hand placing it back where it had been, I quickly released it trying to avoid his gaze.

After the movie, we ate dinner and I quickly went to bed after making it. I laid on my stomach and closed my eyes trying to sleep dreamlessly. No such luck. I did sleep but my dreams were full of the same person from the night prior. This dream was different though. The person was just petting me, telling me that I was a good boy. I hated being treated like a dog but this person was different. I was loving the attention and the constant praise. As their hand stroked my throat I let out a soft purr.

"You're such a good boy." They said in a husky voice.

"Thank you," I said as their lips touched mine.

I was unsure of what I was thanking them for but it seemed to please them. They let out a possessive growl and I woke up panting again. This time thankfully there was no mess. I still took a shower to calm myself down. Once finished I walked to the Kitchen.

"Hey, I noticed you washed your sheets yesterday," Natasha said walking in.

"Yeah, they were dirty," I replied smoothly.

"Even after being washed three days before?"She asked smirking.

"Were they?" I replied not so smoothly.

"Yes, and you were in such a hurry to destroy the evidence you ruined the laundry." She said knowingly.

"Just because they're pink doesn't mean they're ruined. And I don't know what you're talking about." I denied.

"Was that your first wet dream?" She asked seriously.

"Wet dream?" I questioned unsure what she was actually talking about.

"It's perfectly normal. Any normal person has been there at least once in their lives," she said not really explaining.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said getting irritated.

"They're sex dreams." She said simply.

"I can't have sex dreams if I'm not sexually attracted to anything." I reasoned.

"That's what I thought before I found Maria." She laughed. " So who was it about?"

"I don't know. They're faceless and I can't tell gender or voice." I said finally giving in.

"Really? That's interesting. What do they say?"She asked.

"Promise me you won't laugh." I groaned.

"I swear, no laughing." She promised

"They just kept repeating 'Good boy',"I said quietly.

"Are you serious? Even if you're not attracted to anyone then you are definitely attracted to dominance." She concluded.

"Dominance?" I questioned.

She took my arm and led me to the library, pushing me down in front of the computer and starting a search on the web until she found what she was looking for.

"Read this and talk to me tomorrow." She winked.

I started reading and didn't stop until Jarvis informed me that game night was starting in half an hour.


	7. 6 Good Boy

We all sat around the table playing monopoly. It had been three hours and I didn't see us coming to an end anytime soon. Tony was pouting because he was losing. Bruce and Steve were winning. I was actually having fun not that you could have told just by looking at my face. Steve built a hotel on top of one of his many properties and Clint ended up on it.

"Damn it Steve, you stupid faggot," Clint whined.

Anger surged through me and I stood up throwing my fist at Clint's face.

"Do you wanna fight, Dog Boy?" He asked after he recovered.

"What the hell?" Tony said.

Steve pulled me back.

"What did I hurt the dog's feelings?" Clint mocked.

Natasha hit him. I glared at him tempted to say fuck it and rip his throat out before anyone could even try to stop me.

"Alright, you two let's cool off and play something else before there's a fight," Tony said grinning.

We ending up playing The Oregon Trail. Tony said that it had originally been a computer game that they'd made into a card game. The object of the game was to get from point A to point B with as many players as possible. We were almost there when Clint started dying from the cold and I was the only one with clothes. I pulled the card acting like I was pondering then put it back.

"Sorry Clint, you can freeze," I said.

"He just threatened me. Can I kill him now?" Clint asked Natasha.

"Nope, you were the weak link." She grinned.

Clint grumbled as the rest of us made it to Oregon. After the games were done we called it a night. Natasha walked everyone out while Steve and I cleaned the mess. As we finished he ran one hand through my hair before letting it drop to his side muttering "Good boy". My heart skipped a beat.

"Why'd you say that?" I questioned.

"Huh? I've been saying that, or have you not realized?" He questioned.

"Oh. Uh. No, I hadn't realized." I said brow furrowed.

"I can stop if it offends you or something." He offered.

"No, it's fine. I don't mind it." I told him quietly.

The next few days passed by until boredom finally overcame me. I walked into the gym to see Steve having it out with a punching bag. I smiled and crept up behind him. Once I was at an appropriate distance I jumped up and tackled him. Unalarmed he grabbed me trying to complete a sleeper hold. I turned my body so his arms couldn't rest around my neck. He grabbed my thigh turning us over so he was on top. I got my free leg between us and pushed his upper body away from me and he let go of my upper body keeping his hand firmly on my thigh.

With my leg still between us, I forced my torso up cupping his neck and forced him to the side so I could hook my legs around him. Everything went smooth until I ended up straddling him and felt myself become hard. Panic filled me and I jumped off of him running to the bathroom. Luckily he didn't follow because I sat in there until my problem went away.

I spent the next week avoiding him too embarrassed by the spontaneous sparring slip up. When I finally thought that I could control my body around him I joined him for a movie. It was a bit hard to focus though since his eyes kept slipping over to me.

"Why do you keep looking at me? Are you challenging me to a staring contest?" I joked.

"You wish, we both know I'd win." He mocked back.

"Oh, you're so on," I said turning toward him.

We sat with our faces six inches apart staring at each other until Natasha came in. She walked over to us, leaned over the couch and knocked our heads together.

"What was that for?" I pouted rubbing my forehead.

"Boys are all the same." She said laughing.

"Then you must be one of the boys." Steve joked.

"Of course, now since you two blinked I am the winner." She laughed.

The next week and a half went on normally until Natasha decided that she wanted to go out one night to have a date with Maria. She made coffee and made me a cup telling me to try it. I did. At first, I didn't understand why people drank it like it was water from the fountain of youth. It was good but not that good. Several hours later, however, I couldn't sit still. Steve was sitting on the couch going through a file and I was sitting in the chair feeling my muscles twitch with the need to move.

I ended up launching myself across the living room at Steve putting him in a headlock. We ended up on the ground rolling around in a wrestling match. Not long after I passed out. When I woke up we were still on the floor, me using him as a bed. He looked tired and afraid to move.

"Uh, good morning." he said awkwardly.

"What happened?" I questioned.

"You fell asleep in the middle of out wrestling match. I didn't want to move you." He said cheeks dusted a light pink.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said quickly getting off of him.

"It's fine. I really didn't mind." He told me sitting up. "Natasha isn't allowed to give you caffeine anymore."

"That's alright, I don't like the effects that it has on my body." I stretched.

"Most people are so immune to the effects that they actually only drink it for taste," Steve informed me. " How does breakfast sound? I can cook a bit."

"Sounds good," I said smiling.

We went to the kitchen and Steve made bacon and eggs. The two of us ate in silence sitting closer than necessary. Natasha came in and gave us a smile. We greeted her not moving away from each other.

Until we had to leave for the mission we continued to closer. We'd watch movies with my head on his lap instead of my feet, his hand in my hair instead of on my knee. It was nice. Then there was the "good boy" that came out of his mouth that sent chills down my spine. I tried to tell myself that it was just because I was deprived of praises but I knew that wasn't true. Once we were up in the air Fury briefed us on what was going to happen, and when only Steve, Natasha, and I were left Fury also let us know that Steve and I would be sharing a room.

"But why, we have plenty of rooms," Steve said.

"I needed extra storage space." Fury said simply.

"Right, I'm sure you needed so much space. What are you storing? Your ego?" I asked.

"Ha ha, Moore. Maybe you can look in one of those rooms for some respect." Fury replied.

"Did you store a new sense of humor, too? I think you need one." I commented.

"Steve keep him on his leash." Fury snapped.

"I would but he chewed through it." Steve laughed.

"Go be productive," Fury ordered.

We weren't productive, instead, we spent the afternoon relaxing and talking.

"We have time, tell me about the sort of being related to wolves." Steve prompted.

"Alright, my people come from a sub-realm. We had been Mages that were banished from Asgard a long time ago. There we only ever used shifting and healing magic until a few generations later didn't even need to try, we could just shift at will and heal rather quickly. We lost the ability to focus the magic into anything else, it had become part of us. There was another tribe of magic users that used necromancy instead of shifting. War broke out and some of the shifters fled to Midgard. After many generations staying in their wolf form, they lost the ability to phase and that's how Midgard got its wolves." I explained.

"Tell me why you came here." He said enthralled.

"Eventually my tribe beat theirs. They ended up in Helheim. When they became too much to handle Hel cast them out and they became horrid creatures that ate souls. They're only weakness was us and the war started all over again. My parents were born into the war and when they found out my mother was pregnant they decided to leave. They were both warriors so the tribe wouldn't let them go freely. They waited until the time was right. By that time I was a child. I can't remember now what the creatures were called but my mother used to sing me a lullaby about them." I said.

"So, they just wanted a better life for you?" Steve questioned.

"Yeah, they couldn't stand the thought of me being raised just to be a weapon. Kind of ironic though." I laughed cynically.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"It isn't your fault. They thought they could escape evil but obviously, that's not how it works." I said.

That night Steve and I both slept as far apart from each other as we physically could. Even our sleeping bodies acted as if there was a wall between us. When we woke up we got dressed with our backs turned toward each other. Once Steve was dressed he was all Captain and I almost rolled my eyes. They were two separate people it seemed. we met up with the others and worked through our plan until it was time to go blow up the base. Steve and I waited outside until they gave us the signal. We rushed in and the whole scene was gruesome. Hydra agents laid dead on the floor while our team was trying to continue fighting.

I phased and listened for distress so I knew who to help first. Wanda smelt like guilt so I ran to her to help keep the load off. I made sure all of my killings were much more heartless in front of her and it worked. She started feeling less and less guilty. Once I was done helping her I heard Clint struggling down a hall. I raced over there and killed anyone and everyone on the way. When I reached him, an agent was trying to stab out his eye. I locked my jaws around the agent's leg and I flung him off of Clint hearing his spine snap when he hit the wall. Clint nodded at me and continued shutting down the power. I stood guard and killed every Hydra agent that came our way.

"Okay, Dog Boy, we have two minutes before the building collapses. Let's get out of here." He said already going.

I ran after him making sure he'd make it out. Once we got close to the exit twelve Hydra agents popped out of nowhere halting us. Clint unleashed arrow after arrow but with each person, he brought down two more appeared in their place. The clock in my head was ticking and I sprung into action with forty-seven seconds to go. Steve and Tony came back to help as Clint and I kept downing the trained people. I heard a subtle rumble before I felt the ground quiver beneath my feet. Steve and Tony called to us from by the exit. Clint looked at me and I watched a lard chunk of rock fell. I jumped at him grabbing his arm. He cried out in pain as I threw him out of the way. I closed my eyes tight waiting to be crushed. I felt a blinding pain and then everything went black.


	8. 7 Unreality

The first thing I heard was a steady beeping that was high pitched and hurt my ears. The next thing was people whispering and deep breathing. The last was liquid dripping into more liquid. I opened my eyes to see the same white tiled ceiling that held me captive for two weeks. My heart started to race and with it, the high-pitched beeps lost their rhythm.

"Jayson? Fuck man, calm down." Clint said, his face appearing over me.

I focused trying to slow my heart rate.

"Good boy," Steve said with a sleep laden voice.

Upon hearing Steve's voice my body relaxed," What happened, what's going on?"

"You've been in a drug-induced coma for three days," Clint said. "You're injuries were bad."

"Drug-induced Coma," I repeated slowly.

"Do you remember anything?" Natasha asked carefully.

My brow furrowed,"No."

"That's normal, you have a concussion." A new voice said. "I'm Doctor Paige Allen. Fury hand picked me to make sure you make a quick and painless recovery as possible."

"Recovery from what?" I asked trying to get up. I noticed that my left arm was mostly immobile and my right leg would move at all.

"I'll let your teammates explain that but first I need you to answer some questions." Dr. Allen said. " First are you in any pain?"

"No," I answered.

"Good, what's your name?" She questioned.

"Jayson Moore." I was quickly getting bored.

"What's the last thing you remember?" She almost hesitated.

"Talking to Steve about where I came from," I answered not giving too much away.

"That was the night before our mission," Steve told her.

"Alright, it's just a case of short term memory loss. Common with a mild concussion. For the next week or so he maybe a bit confused or disoriented. As long as you make sure he follows my directions he'll be fine." She said smiling at the others.

"What's your directions?" I asked not liking to be so dependent on them.

"Alright, you cracked your right femur and shattered your right foot. You'll need a wheelchair for a while. You also broke the left side of your collarbone and pulled muscles in your wrist. You won't be able to lift anything heavy for a while. You also broke two ribs on your left side and one on your right and you have fifteen stitches just under your hairline on your forehead." She explained. " You need lots of rest."

"We'll make sure he does what he needs to," Natasha said.

"Alright, I need you two to fill out some paperwork." She said whisking Natasha and Steve away.

"I know you don't remember doing it but thanks for saving me," Clint said.

"Uh, you're right. I don't remember but you're welcome." I said. "Will you please explain what happened?"

"Sure thing dog boy," Clint said before telling me the story of how I saved his life.

I was confused, not because of the concussion, or because of what he told me but because I couldn't wrap my head around anyone else risking their life to save mine. My life wasn't worth theirs, it wasn't worth Tony's or Steve's. I sighed as they came back with a wheelchair.

"You'll be in this until you can walk again," Steve said giving me an apologetic look.

I just nodded as Dr. Allen unhooked the heart monitor and the I.V. Steve helped me up and into the chair and thanked Dr. Allen. He pushed me out to a vehicle and helped me in.

The drive back to the house was long and silent. Nobody wanted to say anything that could upset the very fragile balance. Everyone was tense for unknown reasons. Steve sat beside me ridged, while Natasha drove with her eyes never leaving the road, and Clint played with the bandage on his arm that hid the stitches that my teeth had caused. I felt Steve's hand twitch beside me and my body tensed.

"Here you two are. Steve, do you need help getting Jayson into the house?" Natasha asked when she pulled up in the driveway.

"No thank you, Nat, are you going to pick up his prescriptions on your way back?" Steve questioned.

"yeah."

Steve got me into the house and we sat in the living room awkwardly. I wasn't sure why everyone seemed to tense. Things were fine.

"Is something wrong?" I asked quietly.

"Jayson, you need to wake up," Steve said frustrated.

"What?" I asked suddenly fearful.

"You're dreaming," Steve said as his face began to blur and melt together.


	9. 8 Leashing The Captain

My eyes shot open and I was gasping for breath trying to keep the pain at bay. The three people in the room all shot to their feet ready to tackle me back to the itchy bed.

"Jayson? Are you okay, are you in any pain?" Tony asked.

"Yes," I said almost laughing.

"Uh, I don't think the painkillers wore off," Clint said holding the arm I'd bit into.

"Yes, they have. Can I get some water?" I asked feeling how dry my throat was.

Fury handed me a cup with water in it and I sipped it slowly feeling the cooling sensation on my burning throat.

"Do you need more pain killers?" Tony asked quietly.

"No, it's bearable," I said not wanting to go to sleep.

"You've been in a drug induced coma for the last five days so your injuries could heal faster. We had to switch the drugs on day three because your system started eating through them and you started waking up." Clint said.

"How's your arm?" I asked.

"It's fine, if you'd bit me nay harder then I wouldn't have an arm left." Clint laughed.

"Good," I said finishing the water.

Fury took my cup refilling it. I thanked him before asking when I could leave.

"You'll either be discharged today or tomorrow morning, you have to take it easy when you get to the house though." Fury said.

"How bad is the damage?" I asked.

"you had a fractured femur and your wrist had torn muscles but they're both healed. You'll be on crutches for a while your foot in shattered and your collarbone is broken. You also had to have fifteen stitches on your forehead just along your hairline, you do have a concussion, both of which were from Tony accidentally punching you in the head. if you have trouble breathing it's because of your broken ribs. Two on the left and on on the right." Fury said.

I just nodded already knowing this information. At that moment Steve, Natasha, and a woman walked in.

"Hi Jayson, I'm Dr. Allen. How are you feeling?" The woman asked.

"I've been better," I told her.

"Alright, we've signed the discharge papers and after some more painkillers and getting you some practice on crutches you'll be free to go." She said giving me a bright smile.

I nodded and my eyes shifted to Steve. He looked tired but like a kid on Christmas. Dr. Allen unhooked the IV in my arm and helped me sit up. Steve sat beside me letting a hand absentmindedly rub my back. I relaxed into his hand and almost missed the smirks that everyone else in the room shared.

"Since you both are here I wanted to know if I could stay with you for a bit. I don't want my wife asking questions." Clint addressed Steve and me.

"I would say yes but we don't have the room..." Steve started.

"It's fine, you can sleep in my room," I said.

"And where will you sleep?" Tony questioned.

"In Steves bed," I answered simply.

If they wanted something to talk about then I was going to give them something to talk about.

"Sure," Steve said too tired to argue.

"Alright, here's your crutches. Have you ever used them before?" Dr. Allen asked handing them to me.

"Yes, ma'am," I said taking them from her.

"Good. here is some medication. I'll send Clint and Natasha back with some painkillers for you. Now take that and you'll be free to leave." She informed me.

As soon as I took the medicine Steve was leading me out of the building and to a car. Once we were driving I looked at him. His blue eyes looked dull and he hadn't shaved in a while. He actually looked handsome with the dirty blond stubble peppering his jaw. I tried and failed to shake the thought away. At that point, I accepted that I was attracted to Steve. He was kind and funny and beautiful.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"For what?" He questioned.

"Saving my life. You could have let me die." I explained.

"I would never have let you die." He bit out.

"But you could have." I pointed out.

He just nodded as we pulled into the driveway. The painkillers were starting to take effect and I was getting sleepy. Steve helped me up the stairs and into a shower. Once I was clean I went to my room to change clothes. I grabbed extras and went to Steve's room.

"In all honesty, I was joking earlier. I can sleep on the couch if you don't want me in here." I told him.

"No, it's fine. I'd rather you be in here than on the couch." He abruptly cut himself off.

"Awesome then can we take a nap, you look like you could use it and these painkillers are stronger than I thought," I said moving toward him.

He nodded helping me in bed before crawling in behind me. He wrapped one arm around my waist and we both fell asleep. I woke up with the best warmth surrounding me. I turned and came face to face with Steve. he was breathing softly through his mouth and he looked so peaceful. Even with the light stubble, he looked young, almost child-like with his lips slightly parted and his eyelashes fluttering. I smiled lightly pressing our bodies closer and falling asleep once more.

I was startled awake by a soft groan in my ear. I opened my eyes realizing that my face was buried in Steve's neck our bodies pressed so close that I could feel his heart beating in my chest. I took a deep breath accidentally inhaling his scent. He smelt good. I sighed and he groaned softly again. I felt my face flush and carefully pushed myself away from him.

"What time is it?" he asked, voice husky.

"I don't know, can't really see the clock through your neck." I laughed.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to suffocate you." steve said.

"It could have been worse you could have used a pillow." I joked.

"you're really beautiful," Steve said still half asleep.

I pushed myself closer to him.

"Steve, you're dreaming. Wake up." I said smiling.

"I am awake." He gave me a soft smile.

"So you think I'm really beautiful?" I laughed.

"Yes, I do. I also want to date you." He said.

"Okay," I said hiding my face in the pillow.

"Really?" He sounded much more awake now.

"I'm not repeating myself." My voice was muffled by the pillow.

"So we're dating?" He questioned.

"Yes," I confirmed.

"Finally!" Clint yelled from the bathroom at the same time Natasha yelled from the hallway,"It's about damn time!"

"The proper amount of funds have been transferred to your account. Ms. Romanov." Jarvis piped in.

My head dropped to the pillow and the bed shook with our silent laughter.

"Get up boys, I made pancakes," Nat called to us.

Steve and I both got dressed before wandering into the kitchen. Clint and Nat both grinned when we walked in. My cheeks heated and I glared at them.

"What dog boy, you trying to fight?" Clint asked throwing a heart shaped pancake at me.

"Nope, we both know I'd win," I said sitting down.

"That's just because your boyfriend would decapitate me with his shield." He teased.

"Don't be jealous Clint, we all know you just wanted Steve for yourself," Nat said bringing more food.

"Sorry, Clint's not my type," Steve said handing me water.

"Right, you like dogs," Clint said throwing a pancake at him.

"Quit throwing the food I made." Natasha scolded Clint.

"Why are they heart-shaped?" I questioned poking one repeatedly with a fork.

"Because I really wanted you two together," Nat answered honestly.

We all ate and joked until we were finished. Steve reluctantly went to the gym to spar with Clint leaving me alone with Natasha.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked breaking the silence.

"Shoot, Baby." She said smiling.

"What am I supposed to do? I mean I've never been in a relationship." I said.

"Mostly just let things come naturally. If you're not ready for something, say no. If Steve isn't ready for something don't push." She said.

"Okay, but what do people do in relationships?" I asked.

"That depends, what are your intentions?" She shot back.

"I don't know, to be his boyfriend? What intentions should there be?" I was very confused.

"That right there. Every couple is different, use the first few months to figure out what dynamic will work best for you. When you two argue, because you will, fight it out but resolve it before bed. Never go to bed mad at each other. You'll wake up even more pissed. Communicate. Talk to him and listen to what he has to say. Appreciate him. Those are the basics. Everything else is up to you to figure out." She smiled.

"Okay thank you," I said.

"Remember this is his first relationship too." she warned.

"I got it," I said kind of shocked.

There was no possible way I was his first anything. I knew what people thought of Steve. When we'd gone on the walk that ended in bloodshed I could see the people looking at him, smell their arousal. To think that he'd never had a relationship was inconceivable. That day flew by quickly and soon I was laying in Steve's bed, wrapped in his arms. My eyes wouldn't close as I replayed all of the day's events in my head. The blond soldier slept soundly behind me. It was all so baffling. I laid awake for hours trying to sort out everything. Around two in the morning I was finally able to fall into a fitful sleep.

The next morning I woke up to a sharp pain in my left foot as the bones quickly shifted to finalize the healing process. I grit my teeth as the bones finished reattaching. Steve's arm tightened around my waist and the pain slowly ebbed away. I smiled content and now pain-free in his arms.

"Good morning." He mumbled.

"Are you sure you're awake?" I teased lightly.

"No, I can't be awake, I've died and gone to heaven," Steve said sitting up.

"You're so cheesy." I laughed hitting him with a pillow.

He laughed taking the fluffy weapon from me and threw it across the room.

"You disarmed me." I fussed.

"Didn't want you to accidently hurt yourself." He shrugged.

"I wouldn't accidently hurt myself." I pout.

"You're not getting the pillow back no matter how cute you are when you pout," Steve said with finality.

"Please?" I asked softly.

"Are we begging now?" He smirked.

"Yes," I confirmed.

"Hm... No." He denied me.

"Pretty please," I asked quietly, looking at him from under my lashes.

"Pretty sure no." He grinned.

"Por favor, Eu vou te chamar de mestre," I said in a husky voice.

"Seriously? You'd call me master just so you don't have to get up to get your own pillow?" He asked.

"Since when can you speak Portuguese? Besides you would just throw it again." I said face flushed.

"Nat's been helping me. I thought it'd be a good idea to learn." It was his turn to blush.

"Isso significa que voce quer que eu te chame de mestre?" I questioned.

"I wouldn't complain." He laughed.

"Really?" I asked all joking set aside.

"Seriously. Although I much prefer Captain." He gave me a wink.

"You know if people could see what's going on now they wouldn't be able to convince themselves that you just said that." I laughed.

"Why?" He looked puzzled.

"You're captain America, the golden boy. To hear you basically admit you're into something that is to this day still considered taboo would have people either shitting themselves or finding you sexier than they already do." I explained.

"Language." he warned.

"And then there's that." I started laughing.

"Why do you find that so funny?" He demanded.

"Because here if anyone tells you to watch your language now is just ridiculous. Most of us know every curse word by the time we're five," I said trying to contain the laughter.

"Come on we need to get up." He said rolling his eyes.

"Can we just be lazy for one day?" I asked.

he looked thoughtful.


	10. 9 Storms

**Update: Chapter 9 and 10 are getting posted back to back and early because I'm going on vacation for a week! So this Saturday and next there will be no updates to this story since I'm doing it now.**

"I don't see why not." He grinned.

I pulled him back down snuggling into his chest. His arms wrapped around me.

"I'm glad you're getting used to being touched." He commented off-handedly.

"Oh," I mumbled cheeks lighting up.

"I like touching you." He stated.

"I like being touched by you," I replied.

"Do you now?" He teased.

"I will throw you off of this bed." I threatened light-heartedly.

We fell into a comfortable silence after that. Hours were spent that day with two warriors intertwined in each other innocently. Both of us were enjoying the pleasure that one could only feel in the close company of someone you truly needed. Both of us were also afraid to move and upset the utopian reprieve that they had discovered in each other's arms. Both of us felt all was right with the world for once.

"Jay, what do you want to do with your life?" Steve asked.

"I don't know, I'm just kind of taking it one step at a time," I told him. " What did you want to do before you became Captain America?"

"A lot but I was too sick and too weak. I really want to be an artist. Well known. I wanted to make something of myself so my mom would never have to worry about money again." He said quietly.

"Tell me about her," I said interested.

"She was beautiful. I got my blond hair and blue eyes from her. She was always smiling even after my father left. She always had hope and made me feel better even at my worst. I wish I had been able to properly tell her goodbye." He said trying not to choke up.

"Why did your father leave?" I asked.

"He was a drunk and never wanted kids." He replied.

"That sucks." I said feeling bad for asking.

"It's fine now. I stopped caring about it when I was a teenager. Mom and I got by without him." He smiled. " What about you?"

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"What were your parents like?" He clarified.

"My father was a very reserved man, only ever smiling around us. If I ever did something wrong he'd explain why it was wrong and then let me choose my punishment. Having me choose seemed so much worse than him just telling me. But being so young it was only small things like timeouts or loss of some privilege. My mother was loud and playful. When she was around she'd always get us into trouble or we'd make a mess. She was like a child sometimes but she was innocent and understanding." I told him.

"I think you have a mix of their personalities." Steve deduced.

"Yeah, maybe. Mom always thought I only had my father's personality but the older I get the more I see her as well." I agreed.

"Excuse me, sir, Ms. Romanov wanted me to inform both of you that the forecast is calling for thunderstorms this evening," Jarvis said.

"Oh, thank you." Steve said disheartened."If you need me too I can crash on the couch tonight."

"No, it's okay." I told him.

"Will you explain to me what you don't like about thunderstorms?" He questioned lightly.

I sighed. " When I was a child I was put off by the sound of thunder. It never really scared me though, until Hagstrom thought it would be a good idea to use it against me. He'd chain me to this tree outside of the base like a dog until it started to storm. Then all of the agents there would beat me until Hagstrom decided my punishment was over."

"Are you serious?" He asked head jerking to look at me.

"Yeah, it was a form of training," I confirmed.

"No child should be treated like that." He bit out.

I just snuggled in closer not really wanting him to become anymore irked than he already was. It seemed to work because his breathing and heart rate evened out. It was a few hours later when I was awoken by the sound of rumbling from a distance. My heart began to race when the room was lit up. Steve jolted awake next to me when loud thunder shook the windows.

"Jay, are you good?" he asked looking at my wide eyes.

I shook my head barely able to hear him. I was quickly shutting down. I felt myself being lifted until I was seated between his legs and my back was pressed against his chest with his arms wrapped tightly around me. He was cooing softly in my ear. Soon I was slowly coming back.

"Good boy." He mumbled.

I slowly started to relax into him blocking out the storm.

"Are you good?" He asked after a while.

"I'm getting there," I answered truthfully.

"Good boy, I've got you."

I nodded pressing myself closer.

"Just keep focusing on me." He encouraged.

And that's what I did for several hours until the sun came up and the storm ceased. For several hours Steve had sat with me keeping me attached to reality. His arms relaxed around me and I swung both legs over the bed.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"You're welcome." He smiled.

I stood carefully putting weight on the now just tender leg. I winced a bit but started walking. It hurt a bit but the bones were healed finally.

"Where are you going?" He questioned teasingly.

"Shower, I need one," I said grabbing clean clothes.

Once under the hot spray of the water, I let whatever tension that was left be released from my muscles. My foot was feeling much better with only a dual throb reminding me that just a few days ago I wasn't able to walk on it. I took a deep breath for once feeling like AI was at peace with my life.

A month passed by slowly. I was able to move back into my own room after Clint was healed. Steve and I hadn't done more than hold hands. We'd been doing what we had been, going for walks, watching movies, sparring. Now our conversations were deeper, almost but never quite touching out past. Both of us weren't ready to delve that deep into the horrors of the past.

"Hey, Jay! your birthday is in a month right?" Nat said plopping down beside me.

"Uh, yeah, why?" I questioned.

"No reason. I just wanted to be sure," she said grinning.

"Why don't I trust you?" I laughed.

"Because you're smart. But don't worry Steve won't let me do anything you're not comfortable with." She grinned.

"That doesn't make me feel any better," I said crossing my arms.

"All of that aside, come spar with me." She demanded.

"No thanks, my back still hurts from the other day." I declined.

"Come on, I'll take it easy o you." She pleaded.

"Go ask Steve, I'm sure he'd be more than happy to spar with you," I told her.

"No, he always goes too easy on me. He thinks he's going to break me." She complained.

"He is a super soldier." I reasoned.

"So, you're just a strong as he is if not stronger and you don't take it easy on me." She argued.

"No, because you're trained. I know if I did you'd kick my ass worse than you already do." I laughed.

"Language." I heard from the kitchen.

Nat and I paused for a moment before bursting into laughter.

"It's not funny," Steve said walking in.

"It's pretty funny." I grinned.

Nat just continued to laugh.

"Children," Steve said rolling his eyes.

"Kids now'a'days," I said with an eye roll of my own.

"They just don't breed them like they use to," Nat said crossing her arms and shaking her head.

"Very funny you two," Steve said with a sigh of frustration.

"I thought it was." I grinned again.

Nat and I laughed again as Steve exited the room. Afterward, we sat there in silence with the TV playing in the background. Nat was texting someone with a smile. I couldn't help but feel a bit envious of her relationship with Maria. They didn't seem to be nearly as awkward with each other like Steve and I was. Maybe the beginning of their relationship was just as awkward but I couldn't be sure. We were slowly relaxing around each other but it was still tense. Neither of us what was okay and what wasn't, nor did we know how to ask. We kind of just stiffly moved around each other waiting until the other said something.

"What are you thinking about?" Nat's voice broke through my thoughts.

"Oh, nothing," I said giving her a smile.

"Are you sure? If you need help with something I'm here." She told me.

"Everything's fine. Thank you though." I reassured her.

"Alright if you insist. Oh, Maria wanted to know if you'd like to come to our house tonight, get you away from this house before you go stir crazy. And away from Steve since you two have been living together for a while." She offered.

"Yeah sure, that sounds good." I agreed.

Maybe some time apart would do the Captain and I some good.

"Awesome we're leaving at four and I'll have you back by midnight at the latest. So go let your man know what's going on so he doesn't worry." She beamed at me.

I went off to find Steve and actually found him in the library, on the computer. He was looking into articles on the winter soldier and hydra.

"Hey, Nat wants me to go with her to have dinner at her and Maria's place tonight," I said sitting on the desk beside him.

"Alright, it'll do you some good to get out of here." He said leaning back in his chair to look at me.

"That's what she said too. We're leaving at four. Are you going to be able to eat without me cooking for you?" I joked.

"It'll be hard but I think I can manage." He laughed.

"What are you going to do tonight?" I asked hesitantly.

"Probably this." He waved at the computer screen. " I'm a boring old man, remember that."

I laughed," Yeah, okay."

With that, I left him to his work and I went to take a shower. I could almost feel myself bouncing with excitement. I didn't really care what that night would bring. I was just too happy about getting out of the stifling house. I dried myself and dressed when I was done I went downstairs to see Steve talking to Nat.

"Just be on guard. Hydra found us at the park and didn't hesitate to open fire. They'll have no problem doing much worse if they catch you in a private area." Steve said.

"I know, but you know that I'm always packing. And Maria has random weapons hid around the house." Nat told him.

"Way to make an ex-hydra agent feel safe." I joked.

"Don't worry the only weapons we might use on you is a whip." She winked.

"Natasha!" Steve sputtered while we both laughed.

"Don't worry we'll take care of him," Nat said waving him off and leading me out the front door.

We hopped into her black car and took off down the road. I watched the scenery around us pass with amazement. New York was beautiful as long as you stayed away from the cities.

"Are you allergic to anything?" Natasha asked suddenly.

"Not that I'm aware of," I said.

"Anything that you absolutely will not touch?" She questioned.

"Nope, I'll eat anything," I told her.

"Good." She nodded.

"Can you tell me more about that article you had me read?" I asked shyly.

She agreed and began to explain. She warned me that there were bad doms and subs alike even though you'd hear more horror stories about doms ignoring the safe word or breaking the contract by pushing a hard limit. She then went on to explain what those three things were and the purpose of them. She also explained what part both dom and sub played, how you could be in a contract without being in a relationship. Sex wasn't a normal thing for just a dom/sub role. She also told me that Steve and I probably wouldn't be into anything hardcore because we were both virgins and in a relationship.

She explained that any bondage should be a prop, loose, easy to escape and previously agreed upon. New things should be introduced slowly and as a sub, my main job would be to trust Steve. Everything in the beforehand should be discussed to avoid any confusion.


	11. 10 Rehab

We reached the house at about five. Pulling into the driveway it didn't look like much. it was a small two bedroom house that was painted an off white. It was easeful. The yard was well kept but other than that it wasn't fancy. When we entered I noticed a dozen things at once. The lights were dim but not hard to see through. It was modern and rustic in a beautiful mix of new and old. We entered into an entrance hall that opened one way into the main living area and opened the other way into a hallway to the bedrooms.

"Maria, I'm home! I brought a cute puppy with me." Nat called.

"I'm in the kitchen." She called back.

Natasha led me further into the house. I looked around as she led me into the kitchen. I sampled the air and felt my stomach grumble silently. The food smelled so good. Maria turned with a smile. Nat opened her arms around me. My heart started beating faster but I kept my breathing even and stood there awkwardly.

"Oh, it's so nice to see you again, Baby!" She cooed.

Nat looked disappointed.

"Uh, good to see you too," I said quietly.

Once Maria released me she turned to her girlfriend greeting her with a smile and kiss.

"I hope you like shrimp scampi," Maria said pulling something off the stove.

"I do." I nodded.

Once we were seated and eating our salad Maria spoke up.

"So, how is your relationship with Steve going?" She asked

I almost choked. " Uh, will I guess."

"No sex yet?" She grinned.

"Um, no." I almost choked again.

"Maria, you're going to give the poor kid a heart attack." Natasha laughed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You two are taking it slow. I understand." She said seriously. " so do you have any questions about the world of doms and subs? Nat mentioned that you're interested."

"Nat told me a lot of things on the way over," I told her.

"Good, it's good for subs to be able to talk to other subs about the lifestyle. I also think subbing will be good for you." Maria gave me a warm smile.

We continued our meal to the main course.

"I really didn't take Nat as a sub," I said quietly.

"No, most people think shy and quiet when they think submission but it's not usually the case. More times than not subs have quite the strong personality." Maria explained.

"Oh, that would explain a lot." I smiled.

"What does that mean?" Nat asked kicking me under the table.

"Ow. Nothing!" I said.

"You two play nice," Maria said.

We laughed and joked throughout the rest of dinner.

"So, dishes then games?" Maria suggested.

I was already standing, gathering up the dishes. Nat stood to help and we made our way to the kitchen. Maria grabbed what we couldn't as I washed and Nat dried.

"Jayson, do you have any games in particular in mind that you like to play?" Nat asked.

"Besides the game where he gets to pretend to be the good guy?"

We all tensed turning toward the voice. in the doorway stood the winter soldier, eyes cold and locked with mine.

"You have three seconds to get out of my house," Maria said angrily.

"Stay out of this. I'm just here to bring the boy back to where he belongs." The man said.

"He doesn't belong to Hydra, Bucky. He belongs here with us. With Steve." Nat said as Maria slowly grabbed a weapon.

Bucky flinched ever so slightly when she mentioned Steve.

"Hand the boy over and I'll be on my way," Bucky demanded.

"No can do. He stays with us." Nat said as Maria took a swing at him.

He grabbed the pipe from her hands and swung his fist around catching her in the side of the head. I watched in horror as Maria fell to the floor motionless. Natasha shoved me past Bucky whispering for me to go hide, that backup was on its way. I hesitated when I heard the start of the altercation but forced myself to keep moving. I ran into a bedroom locking the door. I looked around and found a wardrobe in the closet. I pushed myself in and shut the door. I didn't like hiding and doing nothing but this would be best handled by shield.

It felt like hours had passed before Bucky knocked Nat out. I listened to him move almost silently through the house opening anything that I could have fit in. I held my breath, heart beating so lovely that I had to concentrate to hear past it. I heard Bucky getting closer to me and I willed my heart to slow. It didn't help though. The wardrobe door was pulled from its hinges and fingers tangled in my hair before I had time to react he had my back pressed to my chest and an arm around my neck cutting off my air supply. I struggled but the lack of oxygen made it harder. Eventually, my vision started to fade until everything went black.

I woke up slowly. The first thing I noticed was my lack of mobility. I opened my eyes to see my arms tied together with my thumbs on the outside. The second thing I noticed was the cloth acting like a makeshift gag. Then my eyes traveled to the wall in front of me. I was in a single room of some sort of bunker.

"You're awake," Bucky said from behind me. "Good, now stand up."

I didn't and received a light kick to the back of my head.

"Round two. Stand up." Bucky snapped.

I still didn't and my punishment was a very brutal Kick to the back.

"Round three. Stand up." He snapped again.

This time I did, with some struggle and received the back of his hand against my face.

"I shouldn't have to tell you more than once. But that's why you're here. Hydra wants me to rehabilitate you before we go back." He said.

I shook my head willing this nightmare to be over.

"You have no choice in the matter of course." He almost sounded sadistic.

"Now, I'm going to adjust the rope on your arms before we begin. Understand?" He said.

I nodded. Once the rope was loose enough I drew back my arm swinging it at his face. He caught me by the wrist, twisting my body so hand rested between my shoulder blades. He then shoved my body against the nearest wall and slowly started pulling my wrist close to my head. I let out a muffled cry.

"Like I said, you have no choice, no if you'd like to keep this arm intact than I suggest you do as I say." He ground out, mouth next to my ear." Do you understand, Moore?"

I nodded vigorously. He released me turning me so my back was now placed against the cold wall. I watched him re-tie my arms so my palms were facing each other.

"Let the training begin. Sit." He commanded.

I didn't and the back of his hand made contact with my face once again.

"Round two. Sit." He commanded again.

I watched him defiantly and the same results occurred.

"Round three. sit." He commanded once again.

I glared at him and that time he grabbed my bound arms and broke my pinky. I bit back the groan of pain.

"Round four. Sit." He repeated.

I continued to glare and he grabbed my hand squeezing until there was a sickening crunch, I couldn't force back the short cry.

"Round five. Sit." He snapped.

I did and his foot collided painfully with my previously fractured collarbone.

"Now stand." He said.

I did and this went on for a while. When he decided that I was done for the day he disappeared returning shortly with food and water. He took the gag out of my mouth and untied my hands.

"Eat." He demanded.

I did that too. My stomach wasn't really up to it but I couldn't take much more that day. My body was aching and I was tired. Once I was done with "dinner" he left, demanding that I sleep and locked the door.

I tried but sleep wouldn't come to me. I bid on the floor tossing and turning trying to force myself to find some sort of peaceful dreamland. It just didn't happen. When the morning came I couldn't feel how bad the day was going to be. Bucky stormed in giving me bread and water telling me to eat. I did and then he started with the commands. I complied. At noon we stopped so he could feed me more bread and water. Afterward, I was exhausted.

"Shift." He commanded.

"No." I snapped having had enough for the day.

I blinked and the air was leaving my lungs and lunch appeared back on the floor.

"Round two. Shift." He said like nothing had happened.

"Fuck you." I rasped out.

His boot connected with the side of my head causing my vision to fade in and out.

"Round three. Shift." He said.

I did regardless of my body's protests. Once in wolf form his foot connected with my ribs. I yelped, faltering in my stance and applying to much weight of my broken forepaw. That leg gave out and my body collapsed.

"Shift." He said again.

I did, still laying on the floor.

"Shift." He demanded.

I did, this time trying to stand. This went on for several more hours until Bucky left to retrieve food. I let myself collapse again but I was asleep before my eyes fully closed.

The days passed by slowly and as much as I wanted to believe that Steve was coming to rescue me, I didn't. I wouldn't get my hopes up like that. On day number twenty-seven Bucky got tired of my mouth and fitted me with a shock collar that he controlled. Every time I spoke I was shocked. By day thirty I'd stopped talking. On day thirty it was also December first, my birthday and a few agents came by to "Celebrate", giving Buck the day off.

"Hey there, Puppy, we've come to play with you. How about a game, hm?" One of the men said.

I remained quiet, my eyes downcast.

"I think that's a yes. Should we explain the rules?" Another asked.

"Yeah, have you ever heard of 'Red light, green light'?" The first one asked.

I shook my head, body filling with fear.

"So in this game, if someone says green light you move, if they say red light you stop. If you continue to move after they say red light you get penalized. In this version, however, when we say wolf you have to transform into a wolf. When we say human you have to transform into a human. Your penalty will be getting 50,000 volts at 26 watts. Do you understand the rules?" The third man explained.

I nodded feeling the fear grow.

"Wolf." One of them said and I transformed.

The game continued progressively increasing in speed and with several repeats of one word or the other until I slipped up and the first man hit the button. I groaned.

"Ready to keep playing?" The third man asked.

I shook my head but just received another shock.

"Let me rephrase that. You're ready to keep playing." He said maliciously.

After mess up number thirty-three, I doubled over, puking. They shared a laugh one tapping my jaw with his foot.

"Poor puppy, I think he's ready to play something else." One of them joked.

"I'd have to agree. I'll grab the tape." Another said.

Soon they were putting tape on the floor in a square. I watched on wishing I were dead, wishing I was back in my cell at shield. When the tape was down the set objects on the four corners and then pulled me to the middle.

"Alright, boys let's take him down a notch. Strip, puppy." One of them said.

I shook my head, heart racing. The shock that followed was no surprise.

"I said strip." he said again.

I swallowed hard and did as told. Once I was naked they took my filthy clothes and ripped my shirt, tearing off a strip and wrapped it around my eyes. They spun me around so I was disoriented.

"On your hands and knees." He said.

I complied listening to them move away.

"Alright, your objective is to collect all four objects but if you touch the tape you'll be punished. Do you understand." Another asked.

I nodded.

"You may begin." The first one said.

I slowly began to crawl around the floor looking for the four objects blindly. The first shock caused a choked cry to leave my lips.

I moved back and began to follow what I thought was the line. The second shock told me I'd gone too far and I carefully moved my hand around until I found the object, four shocks later. One of the agents took it from my hands and I began trying to follow the tape to the next corner. I found that one much more quickly. I took a deep breath and continued on to the next one. The man holding the controls pressed and held the button causing pain to rocket through my body. When it was over I was left curled up and sobbing on the floor.

"Games are no fun if you cheat." One of them said.

I shakily got back on all fours and tried to find my way to the opposite object. The sick game lasted for about an hour but when I was done so were they. Once I was able to see again the man pressed and held the button again putting me to the floor. The strangled sobs wracking my body only seemed to fuel them on. One got tired watching me crumpling on the floor and decided to become proactive by kicking me hard in the side. The other joined in shortly after. I curled in on myself, then last bit of fight left me taking away my will to live. Not soon enough I passed out.

I woke up to Bucky shaking me. Once I was mostly awake he laid bread and water in front of me. I sat up eating the stale bread and drinking the unclean water. "Training that day went smooth. And so did the next day. And the next.


	12. 11 Broken

On day fifty-nine I shivered as Bucky looked my still naked form over, inspecting me like a show dog. I allowed him to turn me and move me any way he pleased until he decided he was done.

"Hagstrom will be happy to have you back, Moore. Although don't expect him to forgive you easily." He said sitting in a chair.

He finally moved me into the main area. I only nodded standing there.

"Sit." He commanded.

I did waiting for his next command but it never came. Steve kicked down the rusted door, rushing in. Bucky stood but recognition quickly swept over his features then it was gone again.

"Bucky, hand him over, we're taking you into shield custody," Steve said in full captain mode.

"You can save the boy or take me. It's your choice." Bucky said looking as stoic as ever.

I looked at Bucky when I heard the hammer of a pistol being drawn back. He had a 9 mm. pointed at my head.

"It's your choice Captain, me or the boy," Bucky said.

I closed my eyes waiting for the bullet to take my life.

"Fine, leave. Next time you won't have him for leverage." Steve said.

I opened my eyes to see Bucky retreating and Steve rushing over to me.

"Jay, are you okay? Why are you naked?" Steve asked.

I only shook my head.

"Alright, wait here, I'm going to see if I can find something to cover you with." He said softly.

I only nodded as he left. He came back with an old worn forest green blanket. He wrapped it around me before picking me up. We exited the building and I shivered as the cold night wind blasted us. I tucked myself closer to Steve's body hearing the other Avengers rush over. Steve stopped walking.

"Not so close. Give him space." Clint said.

"Jayson, thank God you're alive," Natasha said running toward us.

I flipped myself out of Steve's arms and transformed getting into a position to fight. Natasha stopped short as I bared my teeth.

"Jayson, it's just me. We're friends." She said quietly.

I released a growl causing everyone to take a step back and for Fury to stop short as well.

"Where is Bucky?" He asked.

"He got away," Steve said soberly.

I took a step back, feeling my fur brush his legs.

"Jayson, I'm not going to hurt you." Natasha pleaded ignoring the others.

I snapped my teeth at her.

"Nat, maybe it's better if you back off for a while," Steve suggested.

She only nodded as she moved away from me.

"Moore, please shift back." Fury said.

Steve dropped the blanket on me and I shifted pulling the cloth tighter around my body. Steve picked me back up and began walking toward the jet. We weren't stopped by anyone else and made it to a room quickly.

"Alright, I'm going to run you a bath. Are you going to need help getting clean?" He questioned setting me down.

I shrugged. Steve let out a sigh and went to the bathroom. He came out ten minutes later in sweats and a white t-shirt. He helped me up and led me to the bathroom. I dropped the blanket and climbed into the still filling tub. Steve sat down beside me and took the shock collar off.

"Jayson, I'm so sorry. you didn't deserve this." He said rubbing a thumb over the two round marks the prongs left.

I didn't say anything and he turned off the water grabbing a washcloth. He slowly added soap and began scrubbing my body down.

"Here, you can wash the other places." He said handing me the wash cloth, cheeks bright red.

I took the cloth from him and washed what he couldn't. Once I was done Steve washed my hair. When I was clean and the water was an odd brown color Steve drained the water and helped me get out. He wrapped a towel around me and carried me to the bed setting me down carefully.

"I'm going to see if I can find you some clothes." He said exiting the room.

I towel dried my body, waiting for Steve to return. I looked around the room. It was the same room we'd been in before.

"Alright, one of our agents in about your height. They'll still be loose but at least you won't be naked." Steve said handing me sweats and a t-shirt.

I got dressed silently. Steve watched me with sad eyes. Once I was dressed I sat back down.

"Okay, if you're good then I'm going to let you sleep. Good night." He said and turned to leave.

"No!" I shouted standing up.

Steve turned and I flinched.

"Okay, I'll stay with you tonight." He said slowly.

We crawled into bed and went to sleep. I woke up sometime later with my heart racing. I looked around to see the room I'd gone to sleep in with Steve laying next to me. I curled closer to his body afraid he'd disappear if I closed my eyes. He wrapped his arm around me.

"Jay, are you okay?" He questioned.

I shook my head.

"Jay, talk to me please." He pleaded.

"There's nothing to talk about," I said softly.

"Yes, there is. I need answers." He said with more force than he meant.

"What do you want to know," I questioned.

"Jay, tell me what happened to you." He said.

I slowly told him what had happened while I was Bucky's captive.

"Why were you naked? Did he..." Steve trailed off.

"No," I said and then proceeded to explain what had actually happened.

"Jay, I'm sorry. I'll never let anything like that happen again." He swore.

I sat up straddling his hips.

"Steve, thank you for saving me," I said leaning down to kiss him.

When out lips met I felt a jolted almost like the shock collar but it didn't hurt. I felt his hands touch my hips and I deepened the kiss. I ran my hands over his chest feeling the muscles ripple beneath my fingertips. I felt the arousal surge through me. I ground our hips together only to be stopped by Steve's hands.

"Jayson, slow down. This isn't what you want." He said holding my hips Still.

"This is what I want, Captain. Please, I need you." I pleaded.

"No, Jay. You'll regret it." He said flipping us over.

"How can you be so sure?" I questioned.

"Because you're in shock. You've just gotten used to physical contact. You're not ready for sex." He said.

I nodded, his logic undeniable. He sat back on his knees and ran a hand over his face, sighing.

"I'm sorry," I said finally.

"There's nothing to apologize for." He said leaning back over me, placing his lips on mine.

I deepened the kiss letting our tongues intertwine. He placed one hand on my face, the other running through my hair.

"Good boy." He whispered when we broke away for air.

I gave him a tired smile.

"Jay, I'll protect you no matter what." He promised, capturing my mouth once more.

When he pulled away we were both breathless and pointing.

"What if you can't save me?" I asked.

"I'll always find a way to save you." he said placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

Later that morning we were back home with Natasha keeping her distance. I kept close to Steve feeling like if I didn't then I'd be back in that bunker. I hated the feelings of fear and helplessness but I couldn't stop them. I just wanted to feel normal again.

"Hey, come here, I have something for you," Steve said taking my hand and leading me to his bedroom.

I sat quietly as he started to rummage around in a drawer.

"It's late but happy birthday." He said handing me a silver chain with a small talisman.

I held it in my hand looking it over carefully, "Thank you."

"The night you went to dinner with Tasha I went out to get it for you." He explained.

I stood wrapping my arms around his neck." Seriously, Steve, thank you. It's perfect."

I felt his arms wrap around me. I felt my eyes well up with tears. I was so happy to be back.

"Jay, are you crying?" Steve asked pulling away and cupping my face between his large palms.

I only nodded silently.

"This is a good thing, don't keep it bottled up." He said wrapping his arms around me.

I started sobbing before I could stop myself. I wasn't even sure why I was crying but soon a patch of Steve's shirt was wet. He moved us so he was sitting on the bed and I was in his lap face buried in his neck. Steve rubbed my back and whispered sweetly in my ear. When I couldn't cry anymore I sat there sniffling, resting against him.

"Jay, do you feel any better?" He asked.

I nodded.

"Are you hungry?" He questioned.

I nodded again.

"Alright, let's go get food." He said softly.

"Wait, will you help me put this on?" I asked holding the silver chain out to him.

He smiled and clasped it around my neck letting the talisman hitting my chest lightly.

"Thank you," I said pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

He grinned and I gave him a shy smile. We went to the kitchen where Steve made us sandwiches. He sat at the table and I sat on his lap as we ate. Steve seemed rather content with me staying so close to him. Nat tarnished the peace though when she walked in only to pause and gawk before continuing. I watched her carefully, distrusting her unnecessarily. She just ignored us and went on about her business, leaving rather quickly.

"Jayson, what do you have against Nat? You two used to be really close." He questioned after she was gone.

I only shrugged.

"Jay, I want you two to fix this." Steve pleaded.

"Steve please, I'll try someday but I can't today," I told him.

"Alright, will you at least try to be civil with her?" He compromised.

"I'll try," I said.

He smiled and pressed a kiss to my forehead. I leaned into him feeling his muscles wrap around me.

"How about we watch a movie? Do something normal." He suggested.

I nodded and we went to the living room. Steve popped in some flick that I hadn't seen. He wrapped himself around me as we cuddled on the couch. I laughed when I felt his nose brush against the side of my neck. His lips pressed against my shoulder and I could feel his lips curl into a smile. He rubbed his nose against my neck again and I jolted away from the ticklish sensation. He gave a throaty chuckle and did it again. I laughed again and tried to pull away but he held tight blowing cool air over the sensitive skin. I giggled turning in his arms so I was facing him.

"You stop that," I said pouting.

"What are you going to do to stop me?" He grinned.

I pulled his face to mine capturing his lips in a heated kiss. He kissed me back rolling us so he was hovering over me.

"Hey, you two, I built bedrooms for a reason." We jerked away from each other as Tony's voice echoed through the living room.

"What do you want, Tony?" Steve asked crawling off of me.

"I just stopped by to see you two." He smirked. " Friends can still do that right?"

"Sure but since when do you just drop by to see someone?" Steve questioned suspiciously.

"Steve, we both know how inanely unpredictable I am," Tony said seriously. " So alcohol?"

"We don't keep alcohol around," Steve said.

"Aw, straight-laced Captain!" Tony laughed clapping Steve on the chest.

Anger surged through me and before I could stop myself I was phased and had my teeth locked around Tony's hand.

"Jayson, release him." The captain said angrily.

I unlocked my jaw allowing Tony to pull his how bleeding hand away from me.

"Phase back." Steve snapped.

I did, keeping my head down.

"Go to your room." he said arms crossed.

I did.

When I was in my room I sat on the edge of the bed feeling confused and angry with myself. Tony hadn't done anything wrong and I wasn't sure why I was acting so aggressive toward him and Nat. He and I hadn't been friends but Nat and I had. I sighed not understanding what was wrong with me. I rested my face in my palms and I released a shaky breath.


	13. 12 Yes, Captain

"Jayson, come here," Steve said arms crossed.

I heaved a sigh and stood to follow him to his room. I kept my eyes on the floor with my head bowed. When we go to his room he pushed me carefully so I was sitting on the bed.

"Jay look at me." He said, voice soft.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Jay please look at me." He said again.

I did.

"I'm not mad at you and neither is Tony. You have PTSD. We've deduced that your anger towards the others is just you trying to regain some semblance of control. Due to that, Natasha is going to move back in with Maria. Jayson, this isn't your fault." He explained.

"It is. I should be able to control my anger." I said sadly.

"Jay, listen to me carefully." He said crouching down and cupping my face between his hands. "This is not your fault. I don't know what Bucky did to you but it isn't your fault."

"Steve, what's your relationship with Bucky?" I questioned lightly.

He sighed and sat next to me."He was my best friend before the ice. I already told you about how sick I was before the serum. Bucky and I met at school. he always stood up to the bullies that picked on me because I was so small. We enlisted together when world war II started. I didn't make the cut but he did. The one thing I wanted more than to prove that I could be a soldier, was to be fighting alongside my best friend. When Howard gave me the serum, I was finally able to join him on the front line. Shortly after there was this train and I thought he was dead. A year or so ago I found out that he was alive and working for Hydra as a brainwashed assassin, known as the Winter Soldier. I've been trying to follow leads and find him again."

"Why did you chose me over him?" I asked.

"Because I would never let you die. I'd give up saving Bucky every time if it meant I got to keep you by my side." He said taking my hand and intertwining out fingers.

I turned pulling him into a kiss. He kissed me back laying us back on the bed so he was on top. I grabbed his shirt pulling him closer. His tongue danced across my lips before they parted slightly. His hand stroked my face, neck, and chest. He pulled away suddenly to yank my shirt over my head. Our eyes met for a brief moment and his pupils were blown wide and the normal sky blue was dark and clouded. He leaned back down covering my lips with his. His hands ran down my chest, thumbs brushing my nipples. I let out a light moan.

Slowly I let my hands roam his torso until I got irritated that his shirt was in my way. I tugged at the hem of his shirt until he sat back and took it off. I licked my lips as his chest was exposed. He gave me an uncharacteristic smirk as he reached down running one finger from my Adam's apple to the edge of my sweats teasingly. I swallowed hard.

"Such a good boy." He purred.

My breath hitched and I reached out to touch him but he grabbed my wrist and pinned it by my head. I whimpered as he leaned over wagging a finger back and forth.

"No. No, touching." He said brushing his lips against mine.

I nodded my head never breaking eye contact.

"Good boy." He whispered leaning back.

He used his free hand to tease my body down to the waistband of my sweats. I whimpered again. Shifting my hips slightly. I yelped when he slapped my outer thigh just enough for it to sting.

"Be still. Give me a safe word." He said eyes glazed.

"Shield." I immediately blurted.

"Alright, now be still." He demanded.

"Yes, Captain," I said timidly.

He growled and continued to slowly push down my sweats until my cock was exposed. His fingers touched everywhere but where I wanted them to. I groaned in frustration.

"Wait." He commanded.

"Yes, Captain," I grunted out.

He teased me some more until finally, his hand wrapped around the shaft. I let out a moan as his hand slowly began to move. Our eyes met and I felt my face heat up with embarrassment. He leaned down to kiss me sweetly before quickening the pace. I moaned trying to keep my hips still.

"Cum for me." He whispered with force.

I did with a short cry. The sheer force of the orgasm taking over my body. Wave after wave of euphoric bliss washed over me. As I came back down I felt a warm rag being rubbed over my chest and stomach. Steve was also whispering "good boy" over and over into my ear.

"Are you with me now?" He questioned.

I hummed my response.

"Good boy." He purred in my ear. " Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

I obeyed falling asleep quickly. When I woke up Steve was sitting on the bed propped up with my head on his stomach. His fingers were stroking my hair. I felt like my head was swimming and I was happy.

"Jay, you're awake," Steve said smiling.

I hummed my response, body still feeling heavy and like it was floating.

"Come one, let's get you in a shower," Steve said giving me a bright smile.

"Before a shower let me return the favor," I said slowly pushing myself up.

"No, Jay. This isn't a business, we're not making a trade." Steve said sitting up.

"Come on, let me do something for you,"I whined.

"Jay, the answer is no. Go take a shower and I'll order some food." Steve said reaching for his shirt.

I pouted feeling rejected.

"No, don't make that face. One day, I'll let you do whatever you want to me but right now you need to understand that I'm here to take care of you, and I don't want anything in return." Steve said kissing my lips. " Now, please go take a shower. Food should be here after you're done."

I reluctantly nodded my head and did as I was told. The hot water felt amazing running over my body. I washed thoroughly feeling my mind finally coming down from the high Steve had given me. I almost felt sad but brushed it away because I had no reason to be sad. When I was clean I dried myself and got dressed going to the kitchen where Steve was unpacking Asian food.

"Just in time. I thought that maybe we could sit in the living room and watch a movie with our dinner." Steve said grabbing a fork while balancing the containers of food.

I smiled and nodded. It would be a nice change of pace. We sat on the sofa watching "Ghost Ship". Steve was feeding me while I sat curled up on his lap. It was supposed to be a horror movie but all in all, I didn't find it scary, just laughable. I didn't really know why Steve was feeding me but I really didn't care either. It felt nice. Not having to worry about myself, just letting Steve take care of me. After the food was finished we just sat there wrapped in each other's arms when suddenly I felt myself crying.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked carefully.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I don't know what is wrong with me." I said trying in vain to wipe the tears away.

"This is normal, Jay. A lot of people experience their emotions running high while dropping. Especially in the beginning." Steve said.

I thought about the article that Natasha had me read, it had briefly cover sub-space, aftercare, and sub-drop but that was it. I made a mental note to look more into it later as I nodded my understanding about what Steve had told me. We continued to sit together until Agent Sparkles started knocking at our back door, grinning like an idiot. Steve rolled his eyes but answered the door anyway.

"What can I do for you?" Steve greeted.

"It's new years! Or have you forgotten? Anyway, I set up some fireworks. Come outside." He said excitedly.

"I'm really not sure that's a good idea." Steve hesitated.

"Come on. Put your jackets on and come watch the fireworks. It took hours for me to get it all together." The agent pleaded.

"Alright, we will be out in a minute." Steve agreed.

Steve and I put on our jackets and shoes and then went out to the back yard. A few agents were gathered around the yard and Agent Sparkles was almost bouncing where he stood from all of the excitement coursing through him. Steve and I sat on the ground and once everyone was seated the agent started the fireworks.

I felt Steve tense up at the bright lights and loud thunder-like sounds. Before I knew it was happening, I was morphed and on all fours growling at the loud noises while placing my body under Steve's arm so I was standing between his body and the fireworks. Despite my own fear, I continued to growl and bark at the noises feeling Steve shaking against me. Soon more fireworks were set off back to back and all I could do was bark louder trying to make Steve feel like I was scaring away the threat. My ears flattened as I heard a sound coming from him. I thought it might have been a choked whimper but he started laughing. I looked at him confused.

"I'm sorry, I know you're scared but you're acting like a puppy. It's really cute." Steve said trying to stifle more laughs threatening to escape.

"Are you two okay?" Agent Sparkles asked jogging over to us.

I released a growl, warning him not to come any closer.

"We're fine, just no more fireworks," Steve said patting my shoulder.

"Fair enough." The agent said holding up both hands.

"Jay, are you ready for bed?" Steve asked.

I recast myself and nodded. We made our way inside and took off our shoes and Jacket.

"Alright Jay, you need to get some rest," Steve said giving me a tired smile.

Fear spiked inside of me,"Um, yeah, okay."

"Are you okay?" He questioned.

I nodded kissing his cheek and headed to my room. I didn't want to sleep alone, didn't want to be alone. But I tried to suck it up and be the unafraid warrior I'd been most of my life. I laid in bed trying to sleep. Instead, my mind wouldn't shut up about how far I'd fallen. I'd been strong, things like what Bucky had done didn't bother me. I'd always been able to bounce back from anything that Hydra could throw at me. The phobia of thunderstorms being the only exception and by far the most effective form of training until Bucky's rehab. I couldn't figure out why he'd gotten under my skin so much.

It wasn't because he was Steve's best friend in the past, I hadn't even known that until I got back and asked Steve. After that thought, my brain clicked. Bucky reminded me of Steve in the most nominal and idiosyncratic way. While being abused by Bucky, my mind could only process the insignificant similarities that I'd somehow put together. I worked that over and couldn't figure out why Steve was also the only person I could stand to be around. I growled to myself not able to figure it out. There was no reason for me to be so angry with everyone.

I looked at the clock and sighed. It was five on the dot. There was no way in hell that I was going to sleep just to wake up in forty-five minutes. I got up got dressed and went to the gym. Steve already had a punching bag strung up and I went to town, unleashing frustrations that I wasn't even sure were possible. Mostly with myself. I shouldn't need saving. I shouldn't need comfort. I shouldn't need to have Steve with me all of the time. When I was finally finished it was 6:52 and my knuckles were a bloody mess.

"Feel better?" Steve asked from the doorway.

I spun around meeting his gaze steadily." Yeah."

"Good, what had you so upset?" He asked walking over slowly.

"Could you not?" I snapped.

"What?" He questioned stopping.

"Treat me like with one wrong move I'm going to break. I won't." I said sharply.

"Jay, I'm not trying to treat you like you're fragile. I don't think you are." He said carefully.

I rolled my eyes and muttered a "whatever" as I stormed passed him. I walked into our shared bathroom and violently stripped myself of my clothes and took a shower. Steve's careful treatment of me wasn't all his fault either. I'd become weak, shown him that weakness and expected him to treat me like I wasn't.


	14. 13 L'infinito

I sighed to myself looking at the light gray sky as the chilly wind blew the dead leaves around. I sat with my chin on my knees and my arms wrapped around said knees. I felt conflicted. My anger toward Steve was unreasonable but not unjustified in my own mind. Steve had stayed away from me since I'd snapped at him that morning. I couldn't blame him. He was just concerned and I had gotten angry with him.

"Jay, can we talk?" Steve asked.

I jerked around startled. After I realized who it was I nodded. Steve sat beside me and looked out the window.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you," I said quietly.

"No, you're right. I shouldn't treat you like your fragile. You're not. I don't think you are. You're bouncing back rather quickly. It's only been a few days but even before you adjusted rather well." He sighed. "I'm just unsure how to handle you."

"Handle me?" I questioned.

"I don't know how to interact with you. You don't need me to be gentle with you but that's how I was raised." He explained.

"Steve, I'm not a girl," I said seriously.

He laughed." I know. Trust me, I know. But I'm also not going to start being rough with you. Jay, I'm gentle with you because I care."

"I know, I shouldn't have snapped at you. I just don't know what's going on with me." I said leaning on him.

"I understand, you've only free from Hydra for a short while. And you've only just realized you're not our prisoner. This life is still new to you." He said wrapping an arm around me.

"Thank you," I said inhaling his scent.

"For what?" He asked.

"Everything," I replied.

We sat like that for a while. Until my stomach decided to ruin the moment and growl as loud as physically possible.

"Alright, quit yelling. Food." Steve said grinning.

I couldn't help but laugh as well. " Come on, I'm going to teach you how to cook."

Steve followed me to the kitchen where I started grabbing things for dinner. He sat back and watched as I began to lay things out on the counter top before moving on to pots and pans.

"What are we making?" He asked.

"Sauerbraten with ginger gravy," I said.

"Oh." Was all he said.

"you have no say in the matter. I like the irony of you making a German dish." I told him.

"Alright what do you need me to do?" He asked.

"Take the skillet and melt three tablespoons of butter over a medium-high heat," I said cutting the meat packaging.

"It's melted now what?" He asked after a few moments.

I handed him a finely chopped onion and a half teaspoon of salt and pepper. He stared at it.

"Put it in the pan, Steve," I said.

"Oh." He said doing what he was told.

As soon as he was finished I placed four cubed steaks in the pan. "Now wait for them to brown."

It only took about seven minutes and then we added the gravy, vinegar, water, gingersnap cookie crumbs and brown sugar. I let it boil before telling him to reduce the heat to low while I covered it and let it simmer while I made a quick veggie stir fry. Once the steak was tender I allowed him to stir in the sour cream before I made the plates.

"Jay, this smells really good," Steve said as we sat down at the table.

"Well you helped so there's no thanking me," I said as we started eating.

"There's something we need to discuss," Steve said finished with his food. "In about two weeks we're going to bring down another Hydra base. I want to leave it up to you, whether or not you decide to help us. If you can't yet that's fine but if you can I want you to stay close to one of us so nothing happens."

"I'm going," I stated.

Steve just nodded.

"How did you sleep?" he asked suddenly while we washed the dishes.

"I didn't," I said quietly.

"Why not?" He questioned.

"I don't know. I couldn't shut my brain up." I said slowly.

"Sleep with me tonight and see if that helps," Steve said with a slight authority to his voice.

"Yeah, I'll do that." I agreed, watching him with wide eyes.

"Don't look at me like that." He said.

"Like what?" I asked.

"That look makes you look so cute and innocent and reminds me that you're still a kid." He said cupping my face between his hands.

"I'm not a kid, or innocent. Cute is just a matter of opinion." I said.

"But you're all of those things. You just turned eighteen, you're so ridiculously innocent that you make me feel like a dirty old man." He said before lightly kissing my lips.

"I'll stop aging at twenty-one. The serum doesn't allow you to age so it'll be fine." I reasoned.

"I'm corrupting you, tainting you because you're so innocent." He argued kissing my nose.

"Then corrupt me. Taint all of the innocence that you want. I'll allow you to dirty any part of me you want." I whispered.

"you have absolutely no idea how unbelievably sexy you sound right now." He said pulling me into a deep kiss.

I grabbed his shirt pulling him closer. Our kiss deepened and heated quickly. He pushed me against the counter top, hands trailing to my hips, lifting me up and setting me on the flat surface. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips. His hands touched my thighs forcing arousal through my body. I sighed deeply letting his lips break apart from mine to trail down my neck until he paused to suck and nibble one spot. I released a small moan as his hands gripped my thighs firmly. He kissed me again grinding our hips together. I tried to hold back the sounds of pleasure but I couldn't. My fingers tangled in his hair as I nibbled his bottom lip.

"You're killing me, Jay." He groaned softly.

"I don't have to be. I'm yours for the taking." I said voice low.

His eyes that were already dark with lust darkened even more. They seemed to take on an insatiate and voracious look. I swallowed as I was lifted and he began working my lips with his again. I'm not sure how but we made it to his bedroom without tripping or falling. Steve threw me roughly on the bed stripping himself of his shirt before crawling over me. Our lips were connected again and I could feel his hands touching everywhere he could on my torso leaving the skin burning. My back arched into his touch.

"Tell me you want this." Steve pleaded looking for consent.

"I want this. I want you." I said quietly and confidently.

He kissed my forehead before taking my shirt off and running a finger over my left nipple. I shivered from the pleasure. I looked at him carefully as he kept running that finger over my body in different places. Even in the dim light, I could see him perfectly. The toned muscles that rippled with every movement, the strong bone structure of his face, and the faint glow of his blue eyes. I sat up pressing my lips to his neck letting my hands run over his chest. He grunted easily slipping my pants and underwear off. I blushed but continued to kiss his jawline. He grunted again pushing me so I was laying on my back again.

"You're so beautiful." He said kissing me again.

I reached between us, unbuttoning his pants. He got the hint slipping them off and I was a bit shocked by his lack of underwear. His hands came around to squeeze my butt cheeks. I tried and failed to choke down the whimper. He smirked into the kiss rolling so I was on top. I ground our hips together feeling a new pleasure as our naked erections rubbed against each other. steve let out a deep moan as he broke the kiss.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" He asked

"Yes, Steve. I want this, I'm ready." I told him.

He nodded flipping us over again. He kept his hips moving as he reached into his nightstand drawer to grab something. I wasn't paying attention, I was just focused on my hips rocking against his.

"Jay spread your legs for me."He said softly, giving me room to change my mind.

I did as I was told, spreading my legs and exposing myself to him. I had to let out a gasp though when suddenly his lips were wrapped around my shaft and a finger was pushing into me quickly. All the new sensations almost brought me to orgasm but I held off. His finger was thrusting and his mouth was moving before I could wrap my head around what he was doing. When he added a second finger I wiggled my hips just a bit but there wasn't any pain.

In fact, there was barely any discomfort. My back arched feeling the pressure building up in my lower stomach.

"Shit Steve, I..." I cut myself off not knowing what to say as my fingers tangled in his hair trying to pull him away.

Instead, he kept bobbing his head as he added the third finger. I only felt the pain for a moment before overwhelming pleasure took its place. I laid there panting trying to catch my breath. I could feel his fingers still moving in me but it was almost soothing. When I finally started to come down from my euphoric high Steve's fingers were missing and instead his head was pressed against me.

"Are you ready?" He questioned.

"Yes," I muttered.

I wasn't ready. Not quite. Not ready for the pain of his cock stretching me beyond comprehension. He was being slow and stopping every couple of inches or so to allow me to adjust but it hurt.

"Jay, relax and breath. It'll get better." His voice sounded strained like he wanted to say to hell with it and start thrusting wildly but he didn't

I forced my body to relax as he leaned down to kiss my lips. My breathing evened out and he stroked my flaccid shaft back to life before he started pushing in again. I focused on the pleasure until his hips were flush against my thighs. We both struggled to control our breathing while he paused allowing my body to become accustomed to this.

"Can you please just move," I said after a while.

Steve took a deep breath and began slowly and gently thrusting into me. The pain was on longer there but neither was the pleasure, all there was, was a stinging discomfort until Steve re-angled his hips and trusted. I whimpered out in pleasure as stars danced in my eyes. He trusts slightly harder hitting the same spot.

"Steve. Please." I moaned.

"What do you want?" He smirked.

"I don't know just please."My mind wasn't working right and my speech was slightly slurred.

He kissed my lips and his thrusts became slow and powerful, rocking my body. I tried to move my hips with his but failed and gave up. He leaned over, arms resting on either side of my head, and his forehead rested against mine. The pleasure was intense. Nothing I'd ever felt before and every power filled thrust pushed me closer to the edge. Our moans mixed in the air and our scents mingled and brushed against each other before tangling and embracing much like our bodies were. The pressure continued to build until I was teetering on the edge.

"Fuck, Steve." I moaned as I fell over the edge, orgasm hitting hard and making a mess between us.

Steve was cumming soon after, hot fluid filling me. We both were left panting and tired. He slowly pulled out rolling off of me and going to the bathroom, coming back with a wet cloth. He cleaned us off before crawling back into bed.

"Are you okay?" He asked pulling me into him and stroking my hair.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said wrapping my arms around him.

He kissed the top of my head humming in content. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	15. 14 Snow

I woke up stretching my aching back. I smiled at Steve's sleeping form as memories of the previous night came flooding back to me. My body ached in the best possible ways as I stood up and started pulling my clothes on. As I was pulling my pants up my eyes caught what was outside. The earth was a blanket of white.

"Steve, what's on the ground?" I asked jumping on him.

"Jay? What are you doing?" Steve groaned.

"The ground is covered in white, why?" I asked sitting on his stomach.

"That's snow." He couldn't finish his sentence before I was downstairs and outside running in the cold, moisture that was snow

I continued to run through it, enjoying the crunch it made beneath my bare feet. The texture was unique, unlike anything I'd ever felt before. I was too busy laughing and enjoying myself to notice how close I came to Agent Sparkles until his boot knocked me back into the cold fluff.

"Really, Jayson? Quit coming to me. I'm getting tired of kicking you." He said eying me strangely.

"Then stop doing it." I choked out.

"There you are. Sorry Agent, we just got a bit excited over the snow." Steve said running toward us.

"That's quite alright." Agent Sparkles said stifling a laugh.

"Jay, it's cold out here. What were you thinking, running out here without shoes and no shirt?" Steve scolded me.

I didn't realize how cold it was until he pointed it out. I morphed into my wolf form, immediately feeling warmer. I nipped at Steve's pants before sprinting away again. He began to chase me until we were in the back yard. I continued to run around him until a ball of snow was thrown at me and caught me on the side of the head. I stopped and looked at Steve where he was grinning and preparing to throw another one. I waited until he threw it to move again. While I was distracted by flying snow Steve grabbed me laughing as I struggled to be placed on the ground again. I got my wish as I was thrown in a huge pile of snow that easily covered me. His laughter filled my ears as I began to burrow out. When my head popped out of the snow Steve doubled over. I hopped out of the snow running at him and knocking him down. I stood on him licking his face. He laughed trying to shield himself from my tongue.

"Jay, stop!" He whined still laughing.

I stopped licking him long enough for him to wipe his face. He grinned at me petting one of my ears. I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand.

"Let's go inside, Jay. We can come back out later." Steve said.

I morphed back still sitting on his chest. He smiled up at me, pulling me into a kiss. I smiled when his lips touched mine. His hands cupped my face and my hands rested on his chest, fingers twitching to move over his body.

"Jay, you have to get off of me so we can go inside." He smirked.

I laughed getting up and took his hand to pull him into a standing position. Once upright he wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we walked inside.

"Go put some dry clothes on," Steve said heading toward the kitchen.

I did as I was told putting on dry, warm clothes and went back downstairs. Steve was in the kitchen pouring a steaming brown liquid into two mugs.

"Have you ever had hot chocolate?" He questioned.

"No," I said, something about drinking melted chocolate seemed very unappealing.

"Try it." He said handing me a cup."It won't make you Hyper like coffee will."

I looked at the liquid for a second, the chocolate was obviously diluted because it wasn't very thick. Thicker than water but still rather thin. I sipped it slowly allowing the warm, rich fluid to wash over my tongue. It was surprisingly good.

"I like it," I said.

"Good. It always tastes better after being out in the snow." Steve said grinning.

I smiled back sipping my hot drink.

"Would you like to spar?" He asked as he finished his drink.

"Yes," I said more excited than I normally would have been.

We washed our cups and headed to the gym. We spent several hours throwing kicks and punches, in those hours we also made jokes and stole kisses while grappling on the floor. I felt normal. Everything we did brought back my sense of happiness and contentment from before I was kidnapped by Bucky. I felt like I could come back from him and Hydra. I wanted to apologize to Nat and Tony. I wanted to be friends with Nat again. I wanted to laugh and joke with her again.

"Can we invite Maria, Nat, and Tony over for dinner sometime before our next mission? I have some apologies that I owe them." I asked as we laid on the floor by the burning fireplace.

"Of course. I'll call them tomorrow." Steve gave me a smile that made my heart skip.

I kissed him slowly. He kisses me back and soon he was rocking into my body; slow, deliberate, and powerful thrusts pushing my body closer to orgasmic euphoria. The fire burned brightly next to us as our hips rolled against each other. Lips trailed over my neck as my back arched.

"Shit, Captain, Please." I moaned.

"Language." He warned slapping my thigh, the light sting intensified the pleasure.

I woke up on Steve's chest. He had his arms wrapped around around me. I smiled and untangled myself from him so I could take a shower. Steve stirred but stayed asleep. I turned on the hot water and stepped into the shower. It felt great. I scrubbed myself down and then took a moment to let the water just wash over my body.

When I was done with my shower I went to the kitchen and grabbed an apple. I sat on the counter and bit into my breakfast. Again a sense of normalcy washed over me until a thought struck me. Could I even be normal? I wasn't normal. There was no normal for me. My whole life had been a descent into chaos. Never had I truly known peace. The only thing that had ever given me comfort in the perdition that was my life was Steve. He was the only one who'd made me feel like maybe, just maybe there was a heaven after all and I'd found it. Everything about him was faultless and bewitching. I didn't deserve him. I really didn't deserve anyone. I sighed to myself. Eventually, he'd realize that but I was going to be selfish. I would hang on and be happy for a short while.

"What's up?" Steve asked, startling me out of my thoughts of doubt.

"Nothing," I said flashing him a smile.

"Are you sure? Your face seemed like that apple had gone bad." He said grabbing water.

"I'm sure," I said.

I hated lying to him but I wasn't comfortable talking to him about my own insecurities.

"By the way, they agreed to dinner. They'll be here at seven tomorrow and Tony's bring Pepper." He said.

"Good, I need to figure out something to make." I thought out loud.

"Do you know how to make lamb?" Steve suggested.

"Yeah, I know a few ways. I can make a roast leg of lamb, chops sizzled with garlic. There is also Farikal, lamb barley soup, gyros burger, white chapel shepherd's pie, and kreatopita argostoli." I listed.

"Lamb chops sizzled with garlic," Steve said.

"Alright, I'll make it," I said grinning.

"What do you want to do today?" He asked.

"I want to play in the snow," I told him.

"Alright, go get a jacket and shoes on and we'll go play in the snow." Steve laughed.

I did as told and went outside. Steve showed me how to make a snowball which we threw at Agent Sparkles. Steve also showed me how to build a snowman.

"I want to build a snow-hulk!" I said already gathering up snow.

"Uh, sure but I don't know if it'll hold up," Steve said.

I began compacting the snow building up each side evenly to evade it collapsing. Once I had a sturdy base, I began building it taller with Steve's help. Dating a tall guy had its advantages. Being five foot two was also very annoying sometimes. We got the legs and lower torso detailed we began working on the arms.

"It's not going to hold," Steve said as he held one shoulder to the body while I attached it.

"Yes, it will," I said grinning when it held.

We completed the other side and soon had a finished and well-detailed snow-hulk sculpted before us. Steve stood next to it acting as the inspector.

"Bruce can never see this." Steve grinned.

"Why not? It looks amazing!" I said cheerfully.

"He's not the biggest fan of the big guy," Steve said seriously.

"Alright, we won't tell anyone," I said.

Just then the snow gave way and the left arm fell over Steve's head exploding in white, wet powder. I sputtered a laugh and Steve glared at out snow art.

"Keep laughing and I'm going to throw you into another snow drift." Steve threatened.

"It'd be worth it." I grinned.

"Oh, you think so?" Steve said before running at me.

I turned and began running myself. I laughed as Steve chased me. We ran through the woods laughing and sprinting until I tripped. My foot caught on a snow covered root and I went down, ankle twisting in the process. Steve stopped suddenly kneeling beside me.

"Are you okay?" He asked helping me sit.

"Yeah," I said trying to stand but my ankle gave out causing me to fall back on my ass. "Maybe not. I think I rolled my ankle."

"Okay, come here," Steve said lifting me into his arms.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in the crook, whispering," If you give me a few minutes I'll be able to walk just fine."

"Jay, just let me carry you," Steve said hit voice hinting his captain mode.

I pressed my lips against his neck quickly as a subtle thank you. He gave me a small but continued walking to the house. I inhaled his calming scent that was tinged with arousal and woven with mine. I couldn't help the satisfaction I felt. My scent was on him, mixed with his claiming him in a way as mine. The arousal also boosted my ego. Just being close to me was enough to turn him on.

"What are you thinking? You have this smirk on your face." Steve said.

"Nothing," I said sounding oddly guilty.

"Tell me." He said.

"You're slightly aroused," I said blandly, trying not to give too much away yet.

"Of course I am. I have the sexiest man in the world in my arms." He said a soft pink dusting his cheeks.

"And our scents are mixed," I added smirking.

"Isn't that a normal thing for mated animals?" He asked setting me down on his bed. "Get those clothes off, I'm going to grab you something dry."

"Yeah, it's common for animals. It's a way to show others that threaten their bond then it'd mean a fight." I explained as I stripped down to my boxers.

"Good boy." Steve praised as he helped me dress. "Let's go downstairs and get an ice pack on our ankle and some hot chocolate."

I allowed him to carry me to the couch before he disappeared into the kitchen. I smiled to myself, leaning back.

"There's that smirk again," Steve said balancing two mugs and an ice pack wrapped in a dishcloth.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said straightening out my face.

Steve grabbed a couple of throw pillows and propped my foot up, setting the pack on the swollen ankle. He handed me a mug while saying,"You just look smug about something."

"I don't have anything to be smug about." I teased.

"I'm not so sure about that." He jokes back.

"What do you mean?" I asked playing coy.

"Well, you did say our scents mixed. You also said that it's a claim. I, myself and pretty complacent about my scent being all over you. Claiming you as mine. Letting the world know exactly who you belong to." He said eyes dark.

"Humans can't smell it," I smirk.

"No, but it doesn't matter." He said leaning over and kissing my hip." It also doesn't matter that I can't smell your arousal because I can see it."

I blushed at that," Steve, stop."

"Do you actually want me to stop or are you just embarrassed?" He asked pressing his tongue flat against my hip.

I whimpered unable to answer him, too distracted by the pleasure shooting straight to my shaft.

"Jay, I'm waiting." He said.

"God, please don't stop," I begged.

"Good boy." He purred.


	16. 15 Minus Three

"No, you stop it! I need to get this done." I said laughing at Steve.

"I'm just trying to help." He pouted.

"Go clean something, you're killing me." I grinned.

Steve continued to pout but left the kitchen. I smiled to myself as I stirred the potatoes. Steve did try to help but his incompetence in the kitchen hindered him. It was 6:28 and dinner was almost done.

"Jay, come here please," Steve said voice coming from the front door.

I sighed when Nat and Maria's scent hit my nostrils. They were hesitant to come in until they knew I wasn't going to attack them. I felt awful. Nat was trying to protect Maria just in case I couldn't handle them being here. I wouldn't attack them, now that I was coming to terms with what Bucky had done, I wasn't so quick to snap. They weren't out to hurt me or Steve, I knew that.

"Hey Puppy!" Maria greeted.

"Hi," I said still unsure of how to handle her.

She stepped into the house and wrapped her arms around my neck. I embraced her and watched as Nat smiled at me. Maria stepped away from me grinning.

"Nat, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken out my frustrations on you." I said.

"It's okay, I understand." She said hugging me herself.

"Do you need any help in the kitchen?" Maria asked.

"Don't do it! He'll yell at you." Steve said pouting again.

"Only if you can't cook," I said sticking my tongue out at him.

Soon Tony and Pepper arrived and I apologized then we had dinner. Everyone enjoyed it. Pepper was also very sweet, she seemed to keep Tony in check.

That night we went to bed early. Steve curled up around me, keeping me warm. Several days later we were on out way to the Hydra base. Steve introduced me to Sam Wilson, one of his close friends also known as the Falcon. Sam was down to earth and seemed nice enough. He took all of the sarcasm that Tony had to give and threw it back at him. He also hung out with me while Fury was talking to Steve.

"So, you and the Captain?" He cut himself off seeming to hesitate.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Damn, who would have thought?" He said smiling.

"Not many." I gave him a shy smile.

"Does he treat you well?" Sam asked suddenly serious.

"Yeah, why?" I questioned.

"No reason really. I just know being a homosexual was illegal back in his time, just wanted to make sure he was coming to terms easily." He explained.

Come to think of it, Steve had come to terms with his sexuality well and quickly. Almost like whatever or whoever had written out our stories and intertwined our lives had forgotten for a moment that Captain America wasn't supposed to be gay.

I shrugged it off.

"I'm happy for you two. You both seem really happy." He said patting my back.

"Thanks," I said.

"Well, you two are getting along nicely," Steve said finally done talking to Fury.

"Of course, I got the ladies and the fellas after me." Sam joked.

"No offense but you're not really my type." I laughed pulling Steve closer to me.

"What? Not your type? Infeasible!" Sam said crossing his arms.

"Sorry, Sammy he's mine," Steve said kissing me.

"Hey if you ever get tired of this old man you can call me up." Sam joked, winking and patting Steve on the arm.

"So Fury wanted me to break the news to you. Bucky has been at this base recently, there's a chance he's either still there or close enough to come back and aid in their defense. If you want to stay back you can. We'll leave Nat and Thor with you." Steve warned.

"No, I knew that running into him was a possibility. I can't let that stop me from doing things. If he's there then so be it." I said resting my head on his chest.

"Alright, I'll be there with you," Steve reassured me.

When we landed and were ready to attack I got an odd feeling in my chest. Not a "something bad is going to happen" feeling just an off feeling.

"Alright guys, remember that this base is used to hold and train slaves. We need to be careful so none of them get caught in the crossfire." Nat reminded us.

We all nodded and entered the base. It was too quiet for their second largest base. We all glanced at each other looking around confused. I tried to ignore the assault on my senses. The whole place reeked of blood, BO, and other bodily fluids I didn't want to think about. The strong smell gagged me and I stood in the corner allowing myself to puke.

"Shit, if he's puking because of the smell then I'm glad for my weak human senses," Clint said.

"Are you good?" Steve asked rubbing my back.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said spitting the last bit of bile out of my mouth.

"Something it's right here," Nat said.

Flashbacks of my childhood suddenly came to the forefront of my mind.

"They expected us to hit this place at some point. Anyone or thing that would make them money has been relocated. If there are any innocent people left there aren't many." I said.

"That would make sense. How do you know this?" Sam asked.

"I use to be a weapon for Hydra. When I was about ten or so all of the student's got relocated to a different facility when the on we were in got threatened by shield." I said."That also means that the number of agents here will be minimal."

"That's not very comforting," Tony said.

"Our job now is to clear out who remains and then dismantle this place," Nat said.

"Alright, Tony and Hulk will go that way," Steve said pointed. "Thor, Nat, and Clint will go this way and Sam, Jayson, and I will take the last."

"Sounds good, Cap. You ready Big guy?" Tony asked.

Hulk justed grunted and we all split up.

"Jay, now maybe a good time to morph," Steve said pausing in his movement.

I nodded moving away from them and morphing. Sam seemed a bit put off but quickly recovered. We continued down the hall until I caught a whiff of three scents I recognized. My body froze and I could almost feel the metal prongs of the shock collar digging into my neck again. Steve and Sam both paused.

"What's up Jay?" Steve asked.

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and I released a quiet growl. I slowly moved forward proceeding with caution. My ears swiveled listening for the sound of Hydra agents. I heard their breathing and heartbeats in the next room. Beyond that, I heard a woman crying and a man I recognized speaking to her aggressively. I was upset by that but when I heard a child whimper I shoved against Steve's legs and stared intensely at the door.

"Ready yourself, Sam," Steve said.

He kicked in the door and the agents opened fire. My sense of smell was not failing me. Amongst the thirteen agents stood two of the agents that paid me a visit while in "rehab" and the third was stepping out of a room where I could hear the woman's sobs coming from.

I went after one of the three I knew, taking him down by the throat and killing him more violently than I should have but I was angry. The second guy got the same treatment. The third ended up decapitated by Steve's shield. While Sam and Steve took care of the last few agents I carefully walked into the room where the woman sat huddled over a child. She seemed scared but the boy looked at me in wonderment. I lowered my head keeping my ears up trying to appear non-threatening. He held out his hand to me still looking at me with wide eyes. The woman finally seemed to notice me and confusion flashed in her eyes. I watched her carefully. Natural instinct told me to run from a distraught mother trying to protect her child but I took a step forward.

"I want to pet the puppy." The boy said still watching me.

The woman didn't respond still to awestruck to process what the child had said in his broken English. The boy beckoned me closer and I slowly approached them.

"Jay! Oh, uh, Sam call the others." Steve said from behind me.

The woman looked at him cautiously hold her child tighter. I laid down where I was putting myself between them and Steve in hopes of keeping her calm.

"Ma'am, we're not here to you or your child," Steve said putting his hands up.

She just continued to watch him. I belly crawled a bit closer leaning my head in when her hand reached out and gently touched my ear.

"What's going on?" Sam said coming in just to stop short as his eyes landed on the two extra people.

Steve held his arm out stopping Sam from attempting to move any closer.

"Ma'am, are you or the boy hurt?" Steve asked.

She took a deep breath then said," I think his arm is broken."

"Alright, my name is Steve, this is Sam and that's Jayson. We have others on their way, one of them will be able to splint his arm. Do you have any injuries?" Steve asked carefully.

"I'm fine." She said still stroking my ear.

"Where is your accent from?" Sam asked sitting down.

This was good. If he kept her talking, she was more likely to stay calm.

"Greece, I'm from the states though." she replied still guarded.

"Oh, cool. Where from in the states?" He asked.

"Nevada." She said curtly.

"Can I get a name for the both of you?" He questioned.

"I'm Sophia and this is Lukas." She replied bouncing the boy lightly.

"He's cute, looks a lot like you," Sam said. " How old is he?"

"He's two." She said moving her hand down my neck.

"Sorry, we came as quick as we could," Clint said.

"Is Nat still with you, this kid needs a splint on his arm," Steve explained.

"Right here," Nat said giving a light smile.

She approached the three of us carefully. Sophia seemed a bit more at ease but still didn't let Lukas go.

"Hi there, My name is Natasha, what's yours?" Nat said talking to the now scared child.

"Lukas." He said quietly.

"Oh, Lukas. What a handsome name for a handsome boy. Okay, I'm going to put a splint on your arm. I'll be gentle but it still might hurt, okay?" She was surprisingly good with children.

"I don't want it to hurt." He said.

"I know, we don't what it to hurt either. But putting a splint on it will help it heal faster so, soon it won't hurt at all." Nat said giving him a reassuring smile.

"Okay." He said giving in.

"Alright, I'll be slow and careful," Nat stated.

He showed her his bruised and swollen arm. Nat was very gentle only pulling a hiss from the child once. When she was done he looked over the bandage.

"Can I pet the puppy now?" He asked with an exasperated sigh.

"Yes, you can pet the puppy." She laughed.

I moved closer and the boy petted my head and neck with a huge smile.

"He's so soft." He said excitedly.

"Ma'am, now that he's bandaged will you come with us? We work for an organization called Shield. If you'll let us we'd like to help you and your son." Nat said.

"Shield is the organization that opposes Hydra?" Sophia questioned.

"Yes, we've been working hard to bring them down," Nat said.

"Alright," Sophia agreed reluctantly. 


	17. 16 Broken Boy

"Jay, maybe you should morph, maybe he'll let you carry him," Steve suggested.

Sam was helping Sophia walk but Lukas didn't want anyone else to touch him. Sophia tried to convince him to go to Nat or Steve but he kicked Sam and Steve in the shins and Nat was sporting a bite mark on her hand. I morphed and Sophia faltered.

"Oh, You're... I'm sorry for petting you." She said.

"No, it's fine. I didn't mind." I told her before crouching down to Lukas. " Hey Lukas, I know you don't want to be carried but will you hold my hand and walk with me?"

"No, I want Momma!" He said stubbornly.

"Okay, what if you held my hand and held on to her dress with your other hand?" I suggested.

He thought about it for a minute but agreed. I smiled taking his non-injured arm allowing him to use that arm in whatever way he felt comfortable. He grabbed a hold of the edge of Sophia's short dress and we began walking trying to leave the base as quickly as possible.

"Alright, just a bit further," Steve said.

Sophia looked like she was going to pass out. Her face had gone pale and she trembled with the effort it took to walk with help. Taking a good look at her it was easy to see that she hadn't had a decent meal in a while. The bruises and cuts that littered her body were obviously from abuse and the sight made me sick. Lukas was better cared for that she was but not by much. He was better fed and had far fewer bruises but as a child, he shouldn't have had any bruises that weren't from falling down or jumping off of something.

"Get them to a doctor," Steve instructed awaiting agents.

Sophia sat in the wheelchair allowing Lukas to crawl into her lap," Jayson, would you mind..."

"Not at all," I said giving her a smile.

I sat in the exam room with them doing my best to keep them calm. Lukas was easy when it was just the three of us but Sophia was still tense.

"So, you're a..." She struggled.

"A werewolf? Technically yes. Long story short I was born this way, I can't turn people and I don't crave humans. In fact, I could live as a vegetarian if I really wanted to." I said.

" That's interesting." she said.

"If you don't mind me asking how'd you end up in that Hydra base?" I asked after Lukas had fallen asleep.

"I was brought there by one of the agents to be a sex slave three years ago. One of the others decided that he wanted me as a slave wife instead. Soon after that, I got pregnant with Lukas. Tommy was thrilled by the idea of having someone to carry on his legacy but Lukas was never a fan of his." She explained.

"I'm so sorry that happened. If it helps, they won't be coming after you. Tommy's dead." I said.

"Good. Fuck that bastard. I hope he's getting raped in hell." Sophia said bitterly.

I was a bit taken aback by her language but I couldn't blame her. She'd been through a lot at the hands of that guy. She had a kid with him, a kid that by all rights, she probably never wanted.

"What'd you do before all of this?" I asked.

"I was an interior designer. I doubt the company would accept me back after being a no call, no show for three years." She joked.

"Join a rival company, that'll show them." I joked back.

The doctor came in. She was the same doctor that Fury had "hand-picked" for me.

"Thank you, Jayson, I've got it from here, can you take Luke with you if it isn't too much trouble?" Sophia asked.

"Yeah, I'll bring him back in an hour or so," I said lifting the still sleeping boy in my arms.

"Fury wants to see you, after that maybe get the kid some food?" Dr. Allen suggested.

"Uh, yeah sounds good," I said leaving to go to the conference room.

"How are they doing?" Nat asked as I walked in.

"Well, Sophia is opening up. It's going to take a while for them to recover though." I said sitting down next to Steve.

My body relaxed as he pets my hair.

"What'd you get from her?" Fury asked.

"She's not an agent. She was a slave wife to one of the agents killed in battle." I told him.

"He may be dead but they still might come after her and her boy," Steve said.

"We'll put them in a secured apartment building, figure out security and move a few agents in." Fury said.

"I just bought an apartment building there are six empty apartments on the same floor," Tony said.

"Good, we'll set up security and move them in. The other five will have our people in them." Fury nodded.

"I'll move in there to help." Sam offered.

"Slow down there. Trying to get with her is a bad idea." Natasha warned.

"I'm not trying to get with her." Sam defended. " She might feel better if there's someone she recognizes there."

"He's not wrong and it'd be easiest for him to move." Bruce reasoned.

"I'm hungry," Lukas said sleepily.

"Alright let's get you some food," I said excusing myself.

Lukas and I sat in the hallway as he ate his peanut butter sandwich. I had to remind him to eat it slowly so he didn't choke or make himself sick.

He paused about halfway through,"Day, is momma gonna be fed too?"

"Yeah, she'll get fed too," I said smiling at the mispronunciation of my name.

"Are you sure?" He looked more concerned that a two-year-old should have.

"I'll make sure she's fed even if I have to make her something myself. Just like I did for you." I promised.

"Thank you, Day." He said and continued eating.

"Hey Jay, I got informed that Sophia is done with the doctor and eating her dinner. Once Lukas is done we need to take him to his mom." Steve said.

"Sir, yes sir," I said straightening my spine and give him a salute.

Steve rolled his eyes and helped me stand up,"Get on it, Mr. Moore."

I smiled pecking his lips and picked Lukas up. I left a shocked Captain staring after us.

"You kissed him," Lukas stated. " Does that mean you love him?"

I sputtered, "I. Uh. No, I mean I like him and I care about him but I don't love him yet."

"Why would you kiss him if you don't love him?" Lukas questioned.

"Because one day I will love him," I said still unsure if I was saying the right thing.

"Oh, is he your boyfriend?" He gave me a wide-eyed look.

"Yes, he's my boyfriend," I confirmed.

"I thought only girls could have boyfriends and only boys could have girlfriends." He said.

"No, girls can have girlfriends and boys can have boyfriends too," I explained.

"Oh, cool. Having a boyfriend would be cool. Then you could do boy stuff together." He said excitedly.

I couldn't help but laugh. Kids were so innocent. Even after going through hell he was innocent.

We got to the exam room his mother was in. Sophia sat sipping broth but her eyes lit up when she saw her baby laughing and smiling.

"Momma! Day made me a sandwich and he has a boyfriend. How cool is that?" Lukas said excitedly.

"Oh, that was nice of him." She replied as I handed her child to her. " Okay give me the gossip, who's his boyfriend?" She gave me a wink.

"Steve is! They looked really happy together." He said.

"Well as long as they're happy, that's what's important." She said.

"Sorry, he kinda saw me kiss Steve and I couldn't lie to him," I said giving her a shy smile.

"No, it's fine. He needs to see the world and learn about different types of people, learn that there's nothing wrong with someone who is different from him." She said brushing back is auburn hair.

"Well, if you need anything just call goodnight," I said taking my leave.

I walked back to Steve's and my room and immediately went to the bathroom to shower. Steve was already in there.

"Move over," I said opening the stall door.

"Uh, okay." He said dumbfounded but he moved regardless.

I stepped into the hot spray and released a deep breath.

"You seem tense," Steve commented as he began to rub soap on my back.

"I'm always tense." I shot back.

"No, more tense than usual." He clarified as he washed me, giving me a massage at the same time.

"Oh, that's strange," I said off-handedly.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Nothing, I think I'm afraid of snapping at everyone again. I'm trying to watch myself around the others so I don't hurt anyone." I said.

"Jay, I don't think you're going to hurt anyone," Steve assured me.

I relaxed into him as his hands worked the back of my neck and shoulders.

"God Steve that feels good," I said releasing a small moan.

"Good, I want you to relax." he said.

I turned wrapping my arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. His slick body against mine felt oddly sensual. I rubbed my hips against him.

"Then help me relax," I mumbled against his lips.

"Turn around and bend over. Place your hands against the wall." He demanded.

I turned doing as I was told and was rewarded by two fingers pushing into me. I moaned thrusting back onto his fingers.

"Please, Steve." I moaned.

"Just wait a bit longer." He said adding a third finger.

"Please, I can't wait," I begged.

He pulled his fingers out and turned my body lifting me by the thighs so I could wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. I locked our lips as he lowered me onto his shaft. I groaned into the kiss as I was filled. I shivered as my back hit the cold shower wall.

"Hold on tight." was the only warning I got before deep, powerful thrusts were rocking my body almost threatening to break my body down into a struggling mass of pleasure.

"Fuck Steve, don't stop." I pleaded.

The sting on my thigh was amplified by the water from the shower head.

"Watch your mouth." He chastised.

"No, please. Steve I. Shit." I knew I wasn't making sense but I couldn't think straight.

In response to my second slip up, he began to thrust harder which did nothing for my state of mind. The two sharp smacks on my thigh, each harder than the last, also did nothing for my intoxicated brain. Steve took both of my hands pinning them above my head as he readjusted us so he was reaching deeper. I gave a high pitched whine as his lust filled eyes met mine.

"Good boy." He purred kissing my neck.

"Please," I whined.

"Do you want to cum?" He questioned nipping my Adam's apple.

I nodded my head frantically unable to speak.

"Beg for it." He said voice low and husky.

"Please Captain, please let me cum." I pleaded.

"I'm not sure you really want to cum." He teased sucking on my neck, hard.

"Please Captain, please, please, please," I whined.

"Alright, Cum for me." He said mouth not leaving its spot.

I came hard. My head was left spinning and I barely felt Steve release inside of me. I was too dazed to realize when Steve pulled out and helped me stand against him while he cleaned us off.

"Are you sleepy?" He questioned as he towel-dried me.

I hummed an affirmative.

After we were dressed we crawled into bed and cuddled up to each other. Steve held me close and stroked my hair while whispering "good boy". Soon I drifted off to sleep, sated and relaxed.


	18. 17 Dr Rogers

I woke up the next morning to Steve shaking me. I felt horrible.

"Jay, come on, wake up. We've got to get home." Steve said.

"No, let me sleep," I whined pulling the blanket over my head.

"You can sleep in the car." He prompted, pulling the blanket off of me.

"No!" I snapped glaring at him.

"Now Jay." He demanded.

I rolled my eyes but got up and got dressed regardless.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked.

"No," I said annoyed. It was 9:20 and I wasn't acting like myself I understood why he was concerned, I was just irritated. " My head is pounding, my body is aching, and I have chills. I feel like absolute shit."

"I thought you couldn't catch human illnesses." he said confused.

"I can't. I don't know what's wrong with me." I said glaring at everything as we walked to the car.

"Alright, let's get you home and I'll get it figured out." He promised, holding the car door open.

I got in and leaned the seat back so I was nicely reclined. The smooth movements lulled me back to sleep quickly but I was woken up to Steve gently shaking me again.

"Do you want to walk or do you want me to carry you?" He asked.

"I'll walk." I slurred and coughed.

We made it into the house but I collapsed on the couch.

"Jay, don't you think you'd be more comfortable in bed?" Steve said concerned.

"No." I snapped before falling back to sleep.

I woke up sometime later with a pillow under my head and two heavy blankets and a thinner blanket draped over me. My entire body felt gross and sticky with sweat.

"Hey, do you think you could stay awake long enough for me to make you some food?" Steve asked moving my wet hair away from my face.

"I'm not hungry," I said pressing my face into his hand.

"Please try to eat something, you need to eat and drink to stay hydrated. You started running a fever of 103.8 about two hours ago." Steve said.

"I'll try," I promised.

"Alright, I'll be right back." He said getting up.

I started to doze off before Steve came back with a glass of water and some pills.

"Here, these are fever reducers. I'll be waking you up every four or five hours to take more." He said handing them over.

I took them slowly sipping the water as Steve left again. He came back quickly with something in a bowl and something on a plate. He sat me up and handed me the tomato soup and toast. I slowly ate a few spoonfuls and nibbled on the toast before I drank the rest of the water. Steve took the glass and went to refill it as I tried to eat a bit more. I got about a fourth of the way through everything before I downed the second glass of water and passed back out.

I woke up again to Steve softly shaking me. I took the water and pills from him and downed the water once again before laying back down.

"I got a hold of shield earlier. Thor thinks you caught this from him. He almost didn't make this mission from it. He said it should go away in a few days."Steve told me.

I just nodded and went back to sleep.

Thor was horribly wrong. The virus lasted for a week and three days. All I did was sleep and when I wasn't sleeping I was kind of hoping I would die. Steve took care of me and even slept on the couch with me. Even after I'd gotten better I still didn't have much energy and I ate very little. Steve snuggled with me a lot. I felt bad because I knew he wasn't being very productive but I was very happy that he was so willing to take care of me while I couldn't take care of myself. At the end of the second week, we were laying in Steve's bed with his arms around me and my head on his chest. I was trying to not fall asleep but it was hard when my ears were filled with his steady breathing and strong heartbeat.

"Jay, feel free to say no but why don't you just move your stuff in here? You don't sleep in your own room anymore." Steve suggested.

I took his hand in mine and placed a soft kiss on his knuckles, "Yeah, I'd love to."

"Really? You are free to say no." He seemed so genuinely shocked that I'd said yes.

"Yeah, You're not wrong. I haven't been in my own room in a while." I explained.

Steve rolled onto his side pulling me into a kiss. I smirked, kissing him back. He wanted to claim that I was the innocent one but he always got so excited when I said yes about anything. It was actually pretty cute.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Better, not perfect but better," I told him.

"That's funny because you look pretty perfect to me." He grinned kissing my nose.

"Could you be any more cheesy?" I laughed.

"God, I love that sound." He whispered.

"Why? It's just a generic laugh." I reasoned.

"No, it's the best sound in the world." He argued.

"Whatever, I can't trust your judgment. You're a bit bias." I grinned.

"It's hard not to be." He agreed.

I traced a finger down his jaw line and over his neck. He closed his eyes giving me a soft smile as my finger rose and fell over his collar bone. His skin was ridiculously smooth. I continued to trace my finger over his abdomen enjoying the way the pad through the hills and valleys that made up his body.

"If you could have one thing what would it be?" He asked suddenly.

"One thing? Would I have it forever?" I asked.

"Yes." He confirmed.

"This," I whispered as my finger dipped into his navel.

"You'd have this forever. Are you sure you could handle this old man that long?" He teased.

"Nothing would make me happier." I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze.

He tilted my face up and planted his lips against mine. I released a sigh through my nose as my body relaxed against him. I wanted this forever. I wanted to stay like this, relaxed and happy but it wouldn't last. Nothing good ever did.

"Stop thinking." He said against my lips.

I pushed him away softly giving him a sad smile. "What about you?"

"You. I want you to stay with me." He said all humor now gone. "Jay, I love you."

I sat up quickly pushing him back with more force than I intended, sputtering. Steve's face went from shocked to confused to hurt.

"Que diabos? Diga-me que voce estava brincando! Diga-me que voce nao me ama. Steve, por favor. Voce nao me ama." I said.

"Jayson, slow down. I don't understand." He snapped.

"Voce nao entende. Voce nao pode me amor." I pleaded.

"Why can't I?" He asked voice low and teetering on angry.

"Porque todas os que eu amei morreram." I said quietly.

"Morreram? Dead? I'm not going to die." He stated.

"Como voce sabe?" I asked.

"Because I have to stay with you forever." He smiled. " I have to prove that you will eventually get tired of me."

I stared at him, mouth slightly open and eyes wide.

"Jay. I promise I'm not going anywhere." He swore.

"Why wouldn't you? How can you be so sure?" I questioned.

He sighed,"Eu nunca deixaria voce. Eu nanca poderia. I'm too happy with you and I don't think I could live without you. Believe me. Eu te amo."

"You've been practicing." I said stupidly.

"I have." He confirmed.

"You also butchered every word you just said," I informed him giving a breathy laugh.

"I never said I'd mastered it." He smiled.

"I'm sorry. I can't say it yet." I said voice cracking.

"That's okay. One day I'll make you fall so hard for me that you'll say it every day." He grinned.

"That's the thing. I'm terrified of that day." I explained.

"Why?" He asked pulling me slightly closer.

"Steve, I don't deserve you. One day you're going to see that. I'm already going to be heartbroken when you do, I don't need to be completely devastated." I said quietly.

"I know you don't deserve me. You deserve so much better and I'm selfish enough to hope and pray that you never find better." He said thumb stroking my cheek.

I honestly didn't know how to respond to that.

"Say something?" He requested.

"I. Uh. Why are you so perfect?" I felt like an idiot.

He laughed and kissed me softly.

A few days passed. I was finally feeling 100% again. We were in the gym sparring. It felt good to use my muscles again. I twisted my body around Steve's making it difficult to maintain any real grip on my body. He grunted when my knee made contact with his ribs. I smirked moving so I could plant a chaste kiss on his neck. He reached around getting a painful grip on my waist and pulled me away from him. The scent of his arousal hit my nostrils hard fueling my own sex drive. He trapped my body beneath him and the fight was on.

His mouth collided painfully with mine until I got my legs between us and threw him off. I heard his head crack against the solid floor as I straddled his waist, recapturing his lips and grinding my erection against his bare stomach. He groaned allowing me to dominate for a few moments until he lifted my body slamming me against the wall and using his hips to pin mine so I couldn't create any more friction. I made a noise of frustration and I felt his lips slide into a smirk as he released a possessive growl. I don't think I'd ever been more turned on.

I ended up bent over some piece of equipment with Steve thrusting into my body with astounding force. His grip was bruising and I could feel blood drip from his shoulder to pool on my lower spine from the bite mark I'd left on him. My own neck hurt from him sucking and biting at one spot. I yelped at a particularly hard thrust. He'd made sure that I remembered my safe word before anything actually happened. He'd also made sure I was willing to be treated this rough. I was. I shuttered as his hand moved down my back smearing his blood like some erotic war paint. I felt whatever piece of metal I was holding onto snap as his thrusts picked up speed and force.

We were left panting, high, and covered in various bodily fluids. Steve was on his knees behind me, forehead pressed against my shoulder. I was filthy and couldn't help satisfied sigh that escaped me as I felt the sweat, cum, and blood begin to dry on my skin like a tag that I belonged to Steve.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Better than okay," I said speech slurred.

He gave a low chuckle and pulled out lifting me up and carrying me to the bathroom so we could shower. After we were clean and my legs decided to work properly we got dressed. My eyes caught sight of the ugly red mark marring my neck on the left side. I brushed my finger across it releasing a hiss when it actually hurt.

"Sorry," Steve said pulling me into his lap.

"No worse than the mark I left on you," I said nuzzling his neck.

"Sorry for interrupting, but Mr. Stark wishes for me to inform both of you that he and Dr. Banner are here," Jarvis said.

I rolled my eyes but we both got up and went upstairs to the living room to greet our guests.

"Hey, there they are! So, Jay, Bruce and I have something for you." Tony said moving to reveal something similar to this Iron Man suit for my other form.

"No," I said horrified.


	19. 18 Crime and Punishment

"Tony, he doesn't need armor," Steve said tone warning.

"Sure he does, and thanks to Bruce's genius it's really easy to use." Tony grinned.

"I don't want to become Iron Puppy," I said.

"At least try it. Bruce and I worked hard on it." Tony whined. "Nice hickey by the way."

I blushed and covered my neck as Steve and Bruce both began to yell at him about being inappropriate. I shook my head at the ridiculous sight before me. Bruce and Steve sounded like parents lecturing their son for allowing his hormones to run wild.

"Okay, no more teasing Jay about his hickey, I can't promise I won't stare though. Jay, are you going to try this on or not?" Tony asked.

"Fine," I said rolling my eyes.

Tony grinned and Bruce gave me a polite smile. I morphed and walked over to the suit.

"Alright, stand still and it'll begin attaching itself to you," Tony instructed.

I did as tell and the armor actually started disassembling itself and reassembling itself on me. Once it was on I tried to look around but my joints felt stiff and my sight was hindered. I growled in frustration and began ripping the suit apart with my teeth.

"No!" Tony shouted.

But it was too late, in less than two minutes I had the contraption shredded. Bruce look like he was feeling a mixture of horrified and amused, Steve just looked amused and Tony looked like he might puke. I sat down and cocked my head to the side.

"No, I don't care how cute you look, you're in trouble," Tony said crossing his arms.

I tucked my ears back and lowered my head looking guilty.

"Tony, it's not his fault. He tried the suit out and didn't like it." Bruce reasoned.

"And that gives him the right to destroy all of our hard work?" Tony snapped.

"You should have know putting him in that was asking for trouble," Steve said.

I released a low whine in the back of my throat. Tony whipped around to glare at me but his face softened as he looked me over.

"Fine I shouldn't have put you in that suit, I'm sorry, now please stop looking at me like that," Tony said.

I pounced on him, licking his face as he struggled and called to the other two Avengers to help him. Once I was done I moved to sit by Steve's legs. Tony sat up wiping his face and cussing me. Steve chuckled and patted my head and Bruce tried and failed to hold back his smile.

"So, is the suit the only thing you came for?" Steve asked.

"Well, yeah. I thought it would take longer." Tony replied wistfully.

"Alright well we've got stuff to do so we'll see you later," Steve said.

"Okay, we'll leave you two to it," Tony said winking as Bruce shook his head.

"Bye guys," Bruce said pulling Tony and the decimated suit out the door.

I morphed back and wrapped y arms around Steve's waist from behind. I felt him relax slightly in my arms and I gave a soft smile.

"Can we go swimming?" I asked.

"It's too cold to swim. You'll get sick." He said.

"No, I won't. Come on. Let's go swimming. There's a lake not too far from here." I begged.

"No Jay, I'm not going to put your health at risk. You just got over being sick." He held strong.

I pouted.

"Come on, let's go for a walk." He said.

"Alright, I guess that'll do for now." I sighed.

He laughed turning and bending down to kiss me lightly. Soon we were walking through the snow laughing and joking as we made our way around the property. My hand was intertwined with his and our arms would occasionally brush as we walked closer than necessary. We stopped by the small lake and took a seat on a fallen log.

"Jay, our next mission is coming up at the beginning of February," Steve said after a long stretch of comfortable silence.

I nodded, mind drifting to Bucky. What would happen if we found him? Steve wouldn't be able to hurt him and I couldn't hurt Steve. I knew my time in rehab wasn't Bucky's fault. I knew about the winter soldier. He was as helpless in that situation as I was. He didn't have a choice. My rehabilitation was just another mission, another order. A mission he wasn't allowed to fail, an order he wasn't allowed to ignore.

"What are you thinking about?" Steve asked.

"Bucky," I stated.

"Oh, Jay I'm... I'm sorry." He said shifting closer.

"No, it's fine. What happens if we do find him?" I asked.

"I don't know." He wanted to say more but kept quiet.

"Can we unscramble his brain? Undo all of the damage that Hydra did?" I asked genuinely concerned.

"I hope so. What he's done... What he did to you isn't the Bucky I grew up with. He would have never done that. I'm not defending him but I can't let go of the hope that the old Buck is still there and there's a chance to save him." Steve explained.

"I hope so too. He isn't in control of himself. I want you to have your best friend back." I said.

"Could you ever forgive him?" He asked quietly.

"I already have. I don't know how I'd react to seeing him again though." I admitted.

"Then you're a better person than I am. I know that Hydra has brainwashed him but I'm still angry with him. After what he's done to you I don't know when I'll be able to forgive him." He sighed.

"I've been a part of hydra. I know how sick and twisted most of them are. I know the price he'll have to pay for failing his mission. I'm not a better person, I just have a better understanding." I told him.

He nodded kissing my forehead. I gave him a gentle smile as I rubbed his thigh.

"God, I love you." He said quietly.

"I know," I said looking away from him.

He turned my face back toward him and smiled at me," I know you're still not ready, I don't care, it doesn't bother me. I'm still going to tell you though."

I gave him a sad smile.

"No, don't look so guilty. You have no reason to feel that way." He said before pecking my lips.

I leaned my body heavily against his." I want to go home now. It's getting dark."

He let me ride on his back as he walked back to the house. I enjoyed the ride until he dumped me on our bed and started undressing to go to sleep. I followed in his action stripping down to my boxers and crawled under the sheets. Steve soon joined me and we curled around each other.

Soon I fell asleep to the sound of his heart beating soothingly in his chest and slept peacefully through the night. The next morning I woke up to an empty bed. Sleepy and confused I looked around and extended my hearing out but the house was empty. I carefully pushed myself up and got dressed still half asleep.

"Sir, Captain Rogers wished for me to inform you that he was called to a meeting and he'll be back soon," Jarvis said.

I nodded and made my way to the kitchen. I made a quick breakfast and sat at the table to eat. It felt strange in a house by myself and I didn't like it. I was so used to having somebody with me that I didn't know what to do with myself alone. After breakfast, I washed the dishes taking more time than I should have with each dish. I sat on the couch unsure of what to do with myself. I sighed and stretched out throwing a pillow across the room. I smirked as I heard the soft thud. I morphed and looked at the other pillows that served no other purpose than looking nice. I snorted through my nose and grabbed one with my teeth, only to shred it a second later. I was shaking the last one when Steve walked in.

"Jayson!" He shouted but was cut off when the pillow in my mouth exploded sending toughs of cotton all over him.

I dropped the fabric on the couch and gave him the most guilty look I could muster.

"Morph back now." He said through clenched teeth.

I whimpered but did as I was told.

"What were you thinking?" He shouted.

"I was bored," I stated, timidly.

"You were bored?" He sounded disbelieving.

"Yeah, I was bored," I confirmed.

"Come here." He snapped.

I walked over to him, dragging my feet like a little kid.

"If you're going to act like a dog then I'm going to treat you like one." He said grabbing the back of my neck.

I tried to pull away but his grip was too tight. He knelt down dragging me with him and pushed my face into the mess. I struggled half-heartedly but stopped and bit my lip when his hand came down hard on my backside. The stinging pain sent a tingling sensation up my spine.

"Count." He demanded.

"One." I stuttered.

The second came down harder than the first, my body jolting away from his hand.

"Two," I grunted.

"The third was softer but it still stung.

"Three."

My breath was taken away with the fourth.

"Count or I'll start over." He snapped.

"Four," I said voice cracking.

The fifth was just softer than the fourth but it still sent a sharp stinging pain through the spot he'd hit.

"Five." I finished.

"You did well." He said pulling me into his lap causing the stinging skin to burn.

I whimpered in a totally manly fashion and moved closer to him, feeling his erection press into my hip.

"Are you okay?" He asked kissing my forehead.

I nodded not trusting my voice. I was confused and turned on.

"Do you know why I punished you?" He questioned.

"Because I tore up the pillows," I whispered voice breaking. This was the reason I didn't want to speak just then. "I'm sorry Captain, I won't do it again."

"You learned your lesson then?" He stroked my hair lovingly.

"Yes, sir," I confirmed taking the hand petting me and kissing the reddened palm.

"Good boy." He praised.

"I guess I need to get this cleaned up now?" I questioned looking at the mess I'd made.

"No, you can wait until you're a little less excited." He said, smug.

"I'm not the only one with a hard on." I pouted.

"No, you're not?" He chuckled. "I love you."

"I know," I whispered nuzzling his neck.

Days passed by slowly and turned into weeks, we had four days until we went on our next mission. Steve was more tense than usual but we weren't fighting like I thought we would. Any time the tension got to be too much we sparred.

"Thank you,"He said one day as we were laying together naked after a shower.

"What for?" I asked pushing my face against his stomach as he petted my hair.

"For not making me choose." He sounded almost torn but I knew why.

I nodded not knowing what to say but he seemed content with that. Most of our days had been spent in a comfortable silence only broken to say something important or for Steve to tell me that he loved me. He took a deep breath as his fingers moved up and down my spine. We both knew something was going to go down on this mission, we just didn't know what. That was the cause of the tension. We were preparing for the worst without saying anything about it. We'd found out that Bucky was almost guaranteed to be at this base a few days before. I honestly didn't think I could go against him in battle. I'd probably have a panic attack and he'd kill me. I also knew that Steve couldn't take his life, there was too much emotion between them. I wasn't upset about it. If Steve became the bad guy I wouldn't have been able to hurt him.

"I care about you," I said and most of the tension left Steve's body as he laughed.

"I love you too." He said still laughing.


	20. 19 Blurred dreams

Those four days passed by quickly. In that time Steve and I had taken training more seriously and most of the sparring matches I won. By the time we were on the jet I was feeling more like my old self, the old self that existed in hydra. My physical appearance may not change but I gained strength quickly and could always feel the muscles cradling the power nicely.

Sam, Steve and I sat watching a movie together. It was some action movie that I hadn't bothered to actually learn the name of nor was I paying attention to it. I was trying to mentally prepare myself for anything and everything that could go wrong. Steve reached over squeezing the back of my neck. I glanced at him and his expression was a mixture of concern and understanding. I gave him a curt nod before turning back toward the movie. Sam had suggested watching a movie to keep our mind off of the mission but that wasn't happening. Too much could happen with Bucky if he were in fact there. I took a deep breath leaning against Steve and closed my eyes hoping to catch some sleep.

 _I panted harshly as I ran through the abandoned streets that I didn't quite recognize. I gambled with a quick glance tossed over my shoulder. Bucky grew closer with each slow and steady step. I grunted in frustration and pushed my legs to go faster. They burned with the effort, the muscles screaming for the heavy workout to stop. I couldn't stop though. Bucky walked after me holding that damn shock collar. I turned sharply, jumping into a broken window of an abandoned building hoping to lose my pursuer in the rooms and halls._

 _I continued running and panting, glancing back once more just to see Bucky closer than he'd been before. I felt tears burn my eyes as I ran into a room that ended up being a dead end. I back peddled running into a hard chest. I whipped around to see Steve giving me a gentle smile._

 _"You're finally here, we've been waiting." He said grinning at me._

 _I spun back around to see a dimly lit bedroom. Worse, Bucky was sitting on the bed, shirtless with the shock collar in hand._

 _"Steve, please," I begged._

 _"Don't worry Jay, we're going to have some fun," Steve said pushing me closer to Bucky._

 _"Have a seat," Bucky commanded._

 _"No, Steve don't make me do this please." I pleaded pushing back against Steve as he continued to push me forward._

 _"Shh. We won't hurt you." Steve whispered in my ear._

 _I sobbed as I was pushed onto the bed with the other man. I felt a pair of lips on mine. I opened my eyes to see Bucky's eyes as he kissed me gently. I cried harder as I felt Steve behind me running his fingers over my hip and Bucky buckled the collar in place._

 _"Good boy," Buck said against my mouth._

I jolted awake looking around. I was still leaning against Steve and Sam made some muffled noise and a wise crack about moaning.

"Jay, are you okay?" Steve whispered in my ear.

I nodded pressing my body closer to Steve's. The real Steve, not the horrid dream Steve. I also tried to ignore Sam's snickering and my Semi-hard state.

"Come on boys, we have about twenty minutes before we land. Suit up." Nat said poking her head in.

We hopped up, Steve and I going to our room. The whole way there Steve kept glancing at me. Giving me concerned looks.

"Jay, what were you dreaming about?" He asked as we entered the room.

"Nothing." I lied as I pulled his suit out for him.

"Are you sure?" He asked stripping down.

"I'm sure," I said helping him dress.

As soon as he was ready I morphed getting myself ready as well. We met up with the others and prepared ourselves for a fight. I stood between Steve and Thor as Fury gave us direction. Tony made some remark and Nat rolled her eyes. Once we were all ready we were released into the base. I caught Bucky's scent almost immediately and got Steve and Nat's attention before following it.

We took out every agent on the way as I continued following his trail until we found him, sorta. He gave a final backward glance as he drove away. That didn't stop our chase, however, the three of us hopped into another vehicle that Nat hot wired. We drove after Bucky until we were level with his car. Steve had the window ready to jump over but I darted out busting the back window. Bucky swerved a bit but continued on his course.

His strong scent assaulted me but I bit back the fear and jumped at him taking his mechanical arm in my mouth, clamping my teeth down. He released a grunt and swerved again. He jammed his arm back forcing my jaw open painfully. I whimpered as his arm was pulled from my mouth and I was knocked to the back seat. I shook my head sending droplets of blood everywhere. I morphed back and jumped up locking my arms around his neck.

He took both hands off the wheel to pull me over the seat pushing my head down to the gear shift. My body jolted as we hit something and my perception of direction was thrown off as we flipped. The hand on the back of my neck tightened and loosened before letting go completely. I heard Bucky cuss as we were dropped. I landed awkwardly on the ceiling, lying painfully on my shoulders. Everything was fuzzy, all of my senses being enveloped by cotton. I looked over at Bucky to see blood pooling beneath him. I groaned pulling myself into a better position so I could grab him and pull us out of the twisted metal frame. I heard tires screech, coming to a halt. I thought I heard someone shouting but I was too busy trying to clear my vision.

I looked down at Bucky who was still bleeding profusely, sprawled across my lap, half sitting so his face was buried in my neck, staining my clothes crimson. I looked around the obviously abandoned building taking in the damp air, the moldy and dusty smell, and the very familiar sight.

I heard someone calling out again but didn't have time to turn before I was roughly grabbed and pulled away from Bucky. I looked at Steve confused. His face was full of concern and I couldn't fathom why until he touched my face and pulled back his hand to show me blood. He was talking but his voice sounded muffled and heavy like I was under water. My eyes brows furrowed as I tried to focus on what he was saying.

My stomach turned as Sam ran up to us too quickly for my eyes also causing dizziness to bombard my head. I leaned away from Steve as he grabbed my arms to steady me. I turned spilling my stomach's contents on the dirty floor of the building.

"He has a concussion, we need to get him to a doctor." I heard Nat say urgently. "He's losing a lot of blood."

"Jay, are you done puking?" Steve asked rubbing my back.

I shook my head as my body convulsed again causing blinding pain to shoot through my skull. I almost collapsed but Steve caught me holding my body up.

'I think I'm done." I said speech slurred.

"Alright come one, Shield's on their way." He said softly.

"What about Bucky?" We'd been on a mission for him, right? No, not quite.

"Tony and Thor have him covered," Steve said walking me into the too bright sun light.

"No is he okay? he needs a doctor too, he was bleeding pretty bad." The puddle of blood underneath him had been his right? I didn't see any blood coming from him though.

"Jay, he only has a few minor cuts," Steve said stopping to wait for our ride to land.

I looked down to see my blood soaked clothes, torn and tattered but clinging to my body. Only my head was bleeding. Maybe it wasn't, I didn't feel pain from anywhere else.

Steve continued to walk me until we got into the medic bay where we were swarmed by nurses. I ended up being hit with dizziness again but this time my vomit ended up on a nurse who wouldn't leave me alone or heed my warning. Soon they had me sitting in a bed with a trash can in my lap and I puked several more times before Fury and Dr. Allen made an appearance. Steve and Fury stepped out of the room so they could talk and Dr. Allen got to work. My brain flickered in and out as the pain became unbearable. When I was finally able to keep my eyes open for more than five minutes I noticed my vision was clear and my hearing didn't sound muffled.

"Mr. Moore, are you with us?" Dr. Allen asked playfully.

"Yeah, I think so," I said looking around the room.

Steve and Nat were crowding one side of the bed, Fury stood by the door and Dr. Allen stood on the other side smiling softly.

"Good, but your speech is still a little slurred. How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Tired. I have a head ache." I said laying my head back.

"Any nausea left? Blurry vision? Tingling or numbness anywhere?" She questioned checking my vitals.

"I'm fine," I said blinking against the light she shined in my eyes.

"Alright, take Tylenol for headaches, dizziness may occur, there might be some more nausea or vomiting but that's all normal. Come back in two weeks and I'll remove your stitches. And avoid any strenuous activity this includes riding a roller coaster or starring in a rodeo." She grinned.

My cheeks flushed and Nat doubled over next to me laughing. Steve looked very confused while the director tried to hide his amusement.

"What?" Steve asked.

"None of those bucking broncos, huh, Jay?" Nat said nudging my leg.

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked.

"No sex for us," I said bluntly causing the other three people to laugh.

"Oh," Steve said stupidly trying not to blush.

"Alright, you two have fun, just not too much fun." Dr. Allen laughed giving us a wink.

Steve helped me stand up and kept a hand on my lower back as he walked me to the car. Once we were in I couldn't help but ask. "What happened to Bucky?"

"You don't need to worry about him. Shield has him detained until they figure out how to undo what Hydra did. He's coming back sort of. I talked to him while you were out. He's... Aware. Jay, you had the opportunity and the motives... when you jumped into his vehicle I expected to only find one of you alive." He whispered.

"I had no intention of hurting him more than I had to. I'm glad he's aware. Once we find out how they brain washed him I want to help destroy it." I said.

"Thank you." He said voice cracking.

I leaned back turning my head to look at him. "I care about you."

"I love you too." He said pulling the car into the driveway.

I smiled hopping out of the car and walking into our house. Steve followed closely behind me. I went upstairs and grabbed clean clothes so I could shower. I let the hot water wash away the blood and dirt stuck to my body. I sighed happily as I turned off the water and stepped out drying my body. My body felt fresh but my head was still fuzzy, nothing like it had been but it was a bit irritating. I ran my fingers over the stitched together gash on the left side of my head. My brows furrowed as I tried to recall exactly how it had happened but I couldn't get a good grasp on the blurry memories.

"What's on your mind? Does your head hurt?" Steve asked from his spot on our bed.

"No, I just hate head injuries. Every memory leading up to it is exaggerated and under played." I said crawling onto his lap.

"I know, it'll be better soon." He said kissing my nose.

"What do you want for dinner?" I asked playing with a loose string on his shirt.

"Oh no, you don't even think about cooking for the next few days. I'll figure it out but as for tonight, Nat, Maria, and Sam are coming over and Nat's bringing pizza." He poked my nose.

I swatted his hand away smiling," What are the plans then?"

"Movie night, Maria and Sam still think we need to be educated on movies." He chuckled stroking my him.

"Awesome, maybe we could sneak off while they're distracted." I joked.

"Sorry Jay, no sex until your head is healed." He said hand moving to my thigh.

I pouted." I'm sure if we take it nice and slow my head will be fine."

"Nope, not going to risk it. But if you're a really good boy for the next week I'll give you a treat." He winked.

"And what does being a good boy entail?" I asked.

"Oh, not much. Just taking it easy, getting plenty of rest, doing what the doctor said and no touching yourself. No matter how bad you want to." He smirked.

"Why would I want to?" I questioned.

"Just be a good boy." He said kissing my forehead.

"I'll try," I promised.


	21. 20 Beg

"Hey, I heard that!" Sam said trying to sound angry.

Nat, Maria, and I laughed as Steve shouted back a denial from the kitchen.

"You brought the beer so you're automatically beer bitch." Maria giggled.

"Language," I muttered as Steve walked in causing everyone but a lost looking Steve to laugh.

"How is your head by the way?" Nat asked.

"Fine, I think. Head injuries always heal slowly." I said giving her a soft smile.

"Is it safe for you to have alcohol with that?" Sam asked.

I shrugged," It should be fine I'm a lot further in the recovery process than a human would be."

"I wouldn't drink more than one though," Maria suggested.

"I hadn't planned on it," I informed her.

"Or we could just share one," Steve said.

"That's probably the safest option." Maria agreed.

I nodded my own agreement as we began to eat. Well, the others began to eat, I just picked at my slice laughing at what Nat said at my expense. Sam patted my shoulder gently giving me a grin.

"You're not eating much, Baby," Maria commented off-handedly.

"I don't have much of an appetite," I said.

"It's understandable." Nat offered, kicking Steve from her spot on the coffee table.

"Why?" Steve questioned.

"You deserved it." I laugh.

"For what?" He questioned again.

"We don't know yet," Sam said laughing.

"So how are Sophia and Lukas?" I asked causing Sam to sputter.

"They're doing good, Sophia found a job and one of the Agents a few doors down watches Lukas when her and I are at work." He said.

"Do you watch him for her often?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, he's a cool kid. He's really smart too." Sam laughed.

"Do you spend time with Sophia?" Nat asked.

"We hang out every Friday. She's coping well." He explained.

"That's good," I said poking a piece of sausage into Steve's mouth.

"You two are so cute it's disgusting," Nat said with a fake gag.

"Be nice. You're just sexually frustrated since Maria cut you off." Sam teased.

"Maria, why would you do that?" I asked.

"She made a very insensitive comment about you being under doctor's orders to not have sex," Maria explained simply. "Therefore she isn't allowed to have sex until you are."

"Good." I laughed.

Nat pouted.

"Nat, you'll survive," Sam said.

"No, I'm going to die." She whined.

"You'll be fine." Steve laughed.

I shook my head taking my first ever sip of beer. It was bitter and frothy but it wasn't horrible. It wasn't something I'd request to drink but I'd accept it if it were offered to me.

Soon the pizza was gone and we were watching an action film in the dark room. Sam sat in the recliner, Nat and Maria were curled up on the love seat, while Steve and I were sprawled on across the couch with a blanket over us. About half way through the movie I felt Steve's hand move from my chest to beneath the waist band of my track pants. He shushed me as he stroked me to life and continued to move his hand slowly. I bit my lip and bit back a frustrated groan. His hand was moving too slow to allow me to finish but it felt good. He held me still so I couldn't squirm too much as he moved his fingers to tease my entrance. He whispered praises in my ear as his fingers breached my walls. My body was begging for release but he was intentionally rubbing every spot but the one I wanted. One movie came to an end and the next began without anyone interrupting. His other moved up my body to trace my bottom lip. I moved just slightly and bit his finger, hard. He hissed, pulling his hands away from me. I had to hold back the whine that almost escaped me.

"No biting." He snapped in my ear.

I gave a curt nod too afraid to move too much. I glanced around to see everyone else watching the movie, completely ignorant to Steve toying with my body. He continued what he was doing until finally the second movie came to an end.

Once everyone left we cleaned up and went to bed. Steve was grinning but I was pouting, feeling unsatisfied and frustrated.

"Aw, don't pout, I'll take care of it after you're healed." He teased.

"She said no sex. Nothing about me getting off." I whined.

"Be a good boy and it'll be worth it." He promised.

I pouted again but quickly forgot about the mistreatment when he pulled me into a deep kiss. I moaned as his hands moved under my shirt and across my body. I stretched my spine feeling his touch relaxing my muscles. His fingers ran over my ribs before he pulled away frowning.

"No more missions for a while Jay, you're losing too much weight." He said sternly.

"I'm sorry," I said feeling an incomprehensible fear shoot through me.

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault. We just need to get your diet fixed and you'll be fine, okay?" He said.

I nodded still feeling the panic rising.

"What's wrong, talk to me." He said rubbing my back.

"I don't know," I said, my breathing quick and unsteady.

"Take deep breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth. That's it. Just focus on me. Good boy." He walked me through it.

"What is this?" I asked as I started to calm down.

"You're having a panic attack. You're going to get through it. I'll call Dr. Allen to ask her about it when your breathing is a bit more even." He reassured me.

"No, don't bother her it's late. You can call her in the morning." I reasoned still breathing the way he'd told me to.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yeah, it's fine. I'm calming down." I said grabbing his hand to stroke the knuckles with my thumb.

"Alright, I'll call her in the morning." He said softly.

"Steve?" I questioned quietly.

"Yeah?" He replied.

"What would you have done if I hadn't walked away from that wreck?" I couldn't help but be curious.

"The same thing I was going to do when you wouldn't answer me. I would have killed Bucky." He said somberly.

"I'm not worth it. You wouldn't have been able to live with yourself. Bucky isn't just some Hydra agent, he's your best friend." I reasoned.

"No, but I couldn't think straight while you were sitting there unresponsive." He admitted.

"I'm glad you made sure I was still breathing first." I laughed. " I'm tired can we go to sleep now?"

"Yeah, let's do that." He said.

I didn't sleep well, I wasn't having nightmares but I did wake up every hour or so and couldn't reach a deep sleep no matter how hard I tried. When Steve got up he told me to try to sleep a bit longer and if I needed anything to have Jarvis call him. I sighed curling up on his side of the bed and dozed off once again. I was woken up sometime later to Steve nudging my ribs. I groaned and rolled over to look at him. He was giving me a bright smile as he held out a plate of waffles and sausage. I couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Good morning." He said.

"Morning. So you can cook?" I laughed.

"No, Jarvis walked me through it." He responded sheepishly. "Oh, I did call Dr. Allen this morning. She said that emotional imbalances are normal but if you're still showing signs of anxiety or depression in a few weeks we should go see her."

I nodded as I picked at breakfast.

"Still no appetite or is it that bad?" He asked.

"No, it's really good, just not hungry," I reassured him as I tried to eat as much as my stomach could handle.

"Maybe I should feed you lighter foods until you heal." He thought out loud.

"I don't think it'll make a difference," I told him honestly.

Later we were sitting by the lake breathing in the chilly air. We hadn't said much since taking our seats but it was nice. I was leaning my back against him and his hand was rubbing circles into my stomach. I sighed contently.

"I love you." He said breaking the silence.

"I know," I whispered.

I yelped as his hand moved down my pants causing my body to stir in interest. He chuckled as his hand pushed my cheeks apart and a finger entered me. I groaned as he did the same thing as the previous night, denying me any release.

"You're doing so well taking this in stride." He commented.

I moaned as he added a second finger and thrust his fingers faster.

"Such a good boy." He said kissing my temple.

I bit my lip whining when he pulled his fingers out.

"You're killing me." I bit out.

"Just be good until your week is up." He said smirking.

"You're being mean." I pouted.

"You won't think so when it's all over. It'll be worth it, I promise." He told me quietly.

"I'm not sure it'll be worth this torture," I whined.

And that's how the days went until I went to see Dr. Allen. I would be relaxing and Steve would start and stop leaving me aching and wanting and unsatisfied. Each day I grew more and more frustrated but Steve was unrelenting, not that I'd actually told him to stop. If I had he would have.


	22. 21 Release

"Alright, a few more days and I'll be able to take those stitches out. As for now, you're in the clear, physical exertion is a go." Dr. Allen said grinning.

"His appetite is still gone," Steve informed her.

"That may take months to come back but exercise might be what he needs for that." She explained.

He nodded giving me a concerned look. I smiled and thanked the doctor before we left. She called to us to come back in four days to remove the stitches and Steve assured her that we would. The ride home was quiet. We'd sat in silence a lot recently, but it was comfortable. There wasn't a need to say a lot recently, but it was comfortable. There wasn't a need to say a lot just to fill the quiet void. we were both content with just enjoying each other. I liked when we were quiet, it gave me time to really look him over and notice all kinds of things. Like the way, his jaw flexed when he was deep in thought, or the way his hands slid smoothly over the wheel while turning, the way his eyes occasionally darted my way before concentrating on the road again. I smirked smelling his arousal getting stronger the closer we got to home. All of these things made me more sure than before that I was falling hard for the soldier, without his knowledge or my control.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

"Nothing," I said, knowing that answer always bothered him even if he'd never tell me that.

"Come on, you don't get that look on your face for nothing."He said.

"If you're good then you'll find out when we get home." I teased.

"Or I could just punish you for with holding information." He smirked.

I pouted," That's not fair."

"Life isn't fair, I think you're becoming a bit spoiled." He said contemplatively.

"You're an ass," I muttered.

"That's two." He said.

"Two what?" I questioned as we pulled into the driveway.

"Nothing." He smirked.

I sighed, rolling my eyes and got out of the car. We walked inside and he told me to go to our room and wait on him, on the bed, naked. I obeyed going to out room and stripping down to wait. I sighed content, laying on my stomach in the center of the bed. A few minutes later the door opened and Steve muttered a "Perfect" as he walked over to me.

"Are you ready to start?" He whispered in my ear.

I nodded feeling almost nervous.

"What's your safe word?" He questioned.

"Shield." I murmured.

"Good boy, now relax for me, I'm going to blind fold you and tie your hands to the head board." He informed me as he wrapped silk around my eyes, tying it just tight enough.

I shivered with anticipation as he leaned over and then readjusted himself over me. I felt the tip of a rope brush my bare shoulders causing me to shiver again and gasp. He gently grabbed one of my wrists and bound it with a soft rope. He then took the other one and tied it to the first, leaning over me I could feel his naked torso brush my back and the zipper of his jeans scratch a little. He tugged my hands up securing them above my head. Once he backed up I gave a test tug, if I really needed to escape I could. He pushed my thighs apart one hand running up and down my thighs.

"you've been such a good boy." He praised. "Are you ready for your reward?"

"Yes, sir," I said quietly.

He pushed two very wet and very cold fingers into me. I hissed at the sensation. Steve gave a low chuckle pulling his fingers out before pushing them back in. I moaned and wiggled my hips. He grunted and slapped one cheek hard enough to leave a mark.

"Be still." He bit out.

"Yes, sir," I said whimpering a bit.

He continued to pull his fingers all the way out before thrusting them back in roughly for a few minutes, then his free hand left my skin and I heard a sound that caused my body to tense.

"Relax, I won't hurt you." He tried to reassure me but I couldn't force myself to relax.

I whimpered again but this one was higher pitched and let Steve know that I was uncomfortable.

"Do you trust me?" He questioned.

"With my life, sir," I whispered.

"Then trust that I won't hurt you. What's your safe word?" He asked.

"Shield," I said taking a deep breath and getting my muscles to relax some.

"Good boy." He praised and started thrusting his fingers again.

I yelped as something cold and wet touched my upper spine and started trailing downward. It took me way too long to realize it was an ice cube. As it touched the tip of my tail bone Steve moved it and leaned forward to run his hot tongue up my spine. I moaned at the mixed sensations. He removed his fingers and adjusted me so my chest was against the bed and my ass was in the air. He replaced his ice cold fingers and wrapped his mouth around my shaft bobbing his head in time with his hand's thrusts. I screamed out in ecstasy and pulled at the rope restraining my arms. I was so close it almost hurt when Steve pulled away from me.

"Captain, please," I whined.

"No can do, you need to wait. I have too much planned to have you cum too soon." He denied me.

I gave a high throaty whine as I felt him slip a slightly too small ring over the shaft and settle it at the base. It wasn't painful but it was uncomfortable. He placed a light kiss on my lower back reaching around to gently toy with my nipples. His mouth moved lower until I felt the flat of his tongue press against my entrance. My face heated up with embarrassment as he gave me four or five long licks before he pressed his tongue into me. It was strange and new but so was everything else he was doing but nothing had felt bad. This just felt dirty, like I should be disgusted but I wasn't. It was an act that I'd never considered but was glad it was happening, the warm, wet muscle inside of me felt great.

He pulled away replacing his tongue with his fingers. He leaned over me forcing my head to the side, fingers gripping my jaw firmly and kissed me. I could taste myself on him and the flavor was light, almost non-existent as his tongue moved against mine. I moaned into the kiss when he repositioned his fingers and gave a few more thrusts before stopping and holding his fingers still. I whined but kept my hips still not wanting another swat.

"Ride my fingers, Jay." He demanded firmly.

My body responded automatically and my hips began moving on his fingers, slowly at first before picking up speed and force. I didn't take long before a familiar feeling began to build in my lower stomach. I forced my hips to stop moving, however, they did spasm a few times begging for release.

"Keep going, I want you to reach orgasm before we continue." He told me.

"I can't," I whined.

"Yes, you can. Just keep moving." He commanded.

I nodded not really believing him but continued to move my hips, thrusting myself down on his fingers. The pressure continued to build until finally it was released. My muscles tightened around his fingers and my body jerked with the pleasure, there was, however, something unsatisfying about an orgasm without ejaculation.

"Good boy, what do you say?" Steve's voice pulled me back down.

"Thank you, sir." My voice was choked and broken.

He pulled his fingers out and I heard him unzip his pants and fabric move. He then settled between my thighs and pushed into me roughly. I cried out as he immediately started thrusting into that over-sensitive spot that caused me to see stars. It only took a few minutes before I was shaking with pleasure after a second orgasm.

"Good boy." He praised leaning over me.

He untied my hands and turned me over, his own hands never left my body. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles into my wrists, they were surprisingly tender and sore and a bit slick with sweat. The next thing that came off was the cock ring, I was honestly surprised to realize I was still hard. The last thing that came off was the blind fold. It took a long moment for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. When they did finally adjust the first thing I saw was Steve's soft blue eyes looking over my face.

"You good? Are you ready to continue?" He asked in no hurry.

"Yes, sir." I murmured feeling high.

Steve nodded and slowly began thrusting into my body. He hoisted me up so I was sitting on him with my arms around his neck. I bit my lip wanting nothing more than to lock my lips with his.

"Captain?" I asked grinding my hips, matching his slow gentle thrusts.

"Yes, Jay?" He asked.

"May I kiss you?" I questioned shyly.

"You may." He said giving me permission.

I leaned down my mouth meeting his in a deep kiss as our bodies rocked together. This went on for about an hour before I felt that familiar feeling building up. All it took was a command for me to have the most intense orgasm I'd ever had. My cum marked our chests and our necks while Steve emptied himself deep inside of me.

"I love you." He said out of breath, foreheads pressed together.

"I..." I hesitated. " I care about you too."

He lifted me off of him laying me back on the bed, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips before getting up. He returned shortly with a warm wet cloth to clean us up. I was asleep before he was done.

I woke up blinking slowly as the sun hit my tired eyes. Steve pressed a kiss to my naked shoulder pulling me closer to his warm body.

"Was it worth the torture?" He asked, voice slurred and sleep laden.

"Completely," I admitted.

My throat felt raw and my back ached but the thing that concerned me was the itchy burn that surrounded my wrists. I looked over the roped burned arms. They hadn't been sweaty, they'd been bleeding. I'd been pulling at the ropes so hard that they had cut into the skin lightly.

"We should clean those a bit better. I wiped them clean last night but some rubbing alcohol wouldn't hurt." Steve said eying my wrists. "No more rope."

"What? No, please." I asked whipping around to look at him.

"Jay your wrists look bad, my objective isn't to make you bleed." He looked at my pleading eyes. " But if you really like being restrained then we can find something else."

"Really?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course. I honestly didn't think you'd like it so much." He explained.

"Neither did I," I told him.


	23. 22 Breaking

I took a deep breath as we entered the secured facility. Steve walked beside me, hand against my lower back, keeping my feet moving forward. My hands shook lightly as we were led to a class S secured room. The lights were dim but my eyes were hyper focused on all of our surroundings. My breath hitched at every shift in the still air. Steve stayed right by my side though, steadying hand keeping me grounded.

I didn't want to be here, Steve suggested I came. Two days after my stitches were removed he suggested we make our first visit. Three days after a full recovery and here we were. Throughout the last week, we'd talked about it. Steve wanted me to become used to Bucky since he and Steve were friends there was a chance of us seeing each other when he got out. Shield was only keeping him there until they were sure he was stable then they'd keep him somewhere Hydra would have a harder time getting to him. I had reluctantly agreed, knowing Steve was right and I couldn't deny that. It didn't change the fact that I was scared. Jumping into his car and fighting him there had been pure adrenalin, now that I wasn't taking down Hydra that burst of courage was gone and I was without a doubt scared.

"I'm sorry, I must insist that you go in one at a time, he's still quite unstable." The female agent told us in her soft voice.

"No, we'll both be going in," Steve informed her.

"Uh... Right, if you need us we'll be right outside the door." She said backing down.

Steve nodded and led me into the room. Bucky sat heavily restrained on the opposite side of an unbreakable glass wall, watching us enter the room. I avoided direct eye contact but could still see the guilt and shame that flooded his features. Steve's hand was calming but his body blocking the only exit was not.

"Jayson, I'm sorry," Bucky said after a very long, very painful moment.

I flinched, trying and failing to hide it. I gave him a curt nod but didn't say anything.

"Steve," He sighed. " Why did you bring him here?"

"So he can quit being so afraid of you," Steve stated, scratching my back lightly with his blunt fingernails.

"I don't think it's working, the kid is two seconds away from pissing himself," Bucky argued.

"He agreed to come here, Buck. He's not going to get over everything during the first visit." Steve reasoned.

"Look, I really am sorry, Puppy. I hope you know that wasn't me. I'd have never hurt anyone like that." Bucky apologized again.

I repeated my earlier motion of a curt nod in his direction.

"How long are you keeping him here?" He asked turning his attention back to my boyfriend.

"For a few minutes. Next time we'll try to stay longer. But how are you doing?" Steve wondered.

"How do you think? I'm not good. I remember everything. All of the people I killed, hurt, sometimes worse... I feel like I'm losing it." The prisoner admitted.

"You'll get through it, Buck," Steve assured him quietly.

"Maybe. Jesus, would you get the kid out of here before he has a heart attack?" Bucky asked eying me.

"Alright, we'll see you soon," Steve said leading me out.

It took all I had not to sprint to the silver Lincoln that Steve drove. Once we finally reached it I took a deep breath of relief as we were able to drive away. The ride was quiet and it was a tense silence. Neither of us really wanted to talk about it. My thoughts fluttered through things like he must be disappointed that I couldn't handle being around my assailant. I'd told him before I didn't know if I could stay calm but that didn't make those thoughts hurt any less, nor did it stop me from wanting to do better next time.

"Jay, you don't have to go back if you really don't want to. I do however think it'll get better as you get used to him." Steve said quietly.

I looked up and realized that we were parked in the driveway. "You've said it'll get better before but why can't we cross that bridge when we come to it?"

Steve took a deep breath. The kind of deep breath you took when you didn't want to be in your current situation. The kind of deep breath that had the universal meaning of nothing good. And my heart gave a nervous flutter as he looked away.

"Steve... What aren't you telling me?" I asked voice unsure and quaking.

"Once Shield feels Bucky is stable they're sending him here," Steve answered.

"How long have you know?" It was a stupid question. It wasn't stupid because I was genuinely curious. It wasn't stupid for any other reason than I needed to hear him tell me what I already knew to be true and was hoping I was wrong. I just wanted so desperately to be wrong. I wasn't wrong.

"Since he was arrested." He admitted.

"What the actual hell, Steve? It's been seventeen days since we brought him in. Seventeen days that you didn't bother to tell me. Seventeen days that would have been nice to have to prepare myself for the man that tortured me to be living under the same roof." I said voice slightly raised.

"That's not fair, Jayson. I didn't want you to freak out. You'd already had one panic attack that was caused by nothing. I was afraid I couldn't make you understand." He shouted.

"No, you were afraid that I'd make you choose between us. After telling you I wouldn't... Well, let me make that decision for you." My voice was calm and quiet as I got out of the car.

"Jayson, don't you dare walk away from me right now." Steve snapped, following suit.

"Why not? Soon you'll have your best friend back and you won't need some sad dog hanging around." I scoffed. " To think I actually believed you. I knew better." I shook my head walking into the house.

The door slammed. " I didn't lie to you. I meant what I said. Why would you think..."

"If you've lied to me once, you've lied to me before, and you'll lie to me again. " I told him walking to our bedroom.

"I haven't lied to you. Would you quit walking away?" He snapped.

"You omitted the truth. Steve, it's the same thing. Obviously, you don't care about me enough to be completely honest with me." I told him.

"Jay, stop," He said as I started reaching for clothes. " Will you please just stop and listen to me? I lied but it was only until I could find a way to soften the blow. Next time I'll let you know first thing and we can take it in stride."

"What part of I'm choosing for you did you not understand? Steve, there will be no next time. Not for us. Trusting you was a mistake from the start." Damn it hurt. "Jarvis, can you call Nat and ask her to come get me?"

"Of course, sir," Jarvis replied.

"Don't do this. Jay, please. I love you, I'd never lie about that. Stop what you're doing and think about this. I love you." He pleaded voice cracking.

"I... I'm still going to visit Bucky, we'll still be on the same team so it would be a good idea for me to get used to him. I have no plans to stop fighting Hydra." I said walking past him.

I heard an odd sound leave him as I continued to walk out of our room, out of our house, and out of our relationship. The sound reminded me of a choked sob. It was the same sound that left me as I waited at the end of the driveway for Nat. My heart was breaking. I thought I could trust him. I believed him when he told me he loved me even though everything in me told me to run. I'd believed every word from his mouth. I should have learned my lesson. I looked up when I heard Nat pull up.

"Jayson, what's wrong? What did that idiot do?" She asked.

"Nat please, can I just stay with you and Maria for a while?" I pleaded.

"Of course, come on Baby. We'll get this figured out." She said soothingly.

I got in and tried to hold back any more sobs. I was sort of successful, I could stop the sounds but the tears that fell. With every mile put between Steve and me, the pain in my chest grew in intensity. It felt like my heart was physically shattering and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Nat reached over rubbing my shoulder but didn't say anything. It was a similar pain to what I felt when my parents were murdered but also different. Worse. It hurt so bad that I wanted to scream, I wanted to fight Steve for causing this, I wanted to fight Bucky for being the catalyst to everything, I wanted to curl in on myself and not move.

"We're here Honey, when Maria gets home I'll talk to her. What are you doing to do?" She spoke softly.

"I really just want to go to sleep," I told her.

"Alright, come on it, I'll show you to your room." She said getting out.

As promised she showed me to my room and the closest bathroom and then left me to my own devices. All I did was lay down on my stomach and cry myself to sleep.


	24. 23 Switch

I didn't see or hear from Steve for three days. Maria and Nat both made attempts to comfort me but I ignored them. I stayed in my room most of the time crying, if I wasn't in my room I was taking a shower, avoiding both of my new housemates. On the fourth day, however, Steve came to get me to go see Bucky. I pulled myself together and got dressed. When I got into his car we avoided looking at each other. The drive was silent neither of us knowing what to say to each other. When we finally arrived at the Shield facility we walked inside slowly. This time there was no comforting hand to keep me calm. There was no leaning on someone else to take the load off. I felt lost and numb and the man who could solve all of my problems was standing less than two feet away from me as we waited for the agent to let us in. Once inside I stood quietly to one side while Steve and Bucky talked. I took time to look Steve over. He hadn't been shaving and he looked tired. His hair was carelessly fixed. I adverted my eyes once more and allowed myself to become overly interested in the metal wall.

"No offense but both of you look like shit. Is everything okay?" Bucky suddenly asked.

"Everything's fine, don't worry about us just concentrate on getting out," Steve replied quickly.

"I don't believe that what's up?" He questioned.

"Don't worry about it, Buck," Steve said glancing my way.

I turned away from them and kept my eyes down. Damn did it hurt.

"Alright, if you say so." Bucky agreed.

Once we left Steve and me sat in silence for a long while. Everything about this sucked. My chest felt like it was on fire and Steve sitting so close to me didn't help.

"Can we talk?" He asked quietly.

"I don't figure I have much of a choice," I said.

He sighed," Of course you do. Jay, please can we just talk?"

"Don't call me that." I snapped.

"You're right, I'm sorry."He said sounding sincere.

It was my turn to sigh," What do you want to talk about?"

"What happened. It happened so quickly that I can't wrap my head around it. It hurts, Jayson. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't function." He said.

"What do you want me to say, Steve? I forgive you? Let's pretend it never happened? I don't think I can. It hurt that you lied to me about Bucky. Anything else Steve, anything but that's what you decided would be the best thing to 'protect' me from." I was speaking through my teeth unable to look at him.

"I was doing what I thought was best. I made a mistake. I swear I never meant to hurt you." His voice was choked and cracked.

"But you did." My own tears spilled over.

"I know and I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. How much I wish I could take it back. God, Jayson, I love you so much and if I'd known not telling you right away was going to hurt you I wouldn't have waited." He said helplessly.

I didn't have anything to say to that and we fell back into silence. Until Steve broke it a few moments later.

"I understand if you never want to but if you ever find it in yourself to forgive me, can we maybe try again? Just start over? You don't have to move back in or even call me your boyfriend, just go on a few dates. Give me a chance to prove to you it was just a lapse in judgment." He pleaded.

I shook my head no and mumbled so he couldn't hear me, " It's not if I forgive you, it's when."

The drive back to Nat and Maria's house was tense. And the whole way there I wanted to apologize. I wanted to give us another shot. I wanted to forgive him and pretend it never happened. I wanted him so bad but I couldn't bring myself to say what I felt.

"How was it, Honey?" Maria asked as I walked in.

"Horrible. When does it stop hurting?" I asked plopping down beside her on the couch.

"Oh, Baby, it doesn't. It just gets better." She answered honestly.

"What should I do?" I leaned my head back taking a deep breath.

"Do you want him back?" She asked in turn.

"Yes," I said honestly.

"Then why don't you sit him down and talk to him?" She suggested.

"I don't think I can forgive him. At least not for a while." I said.

"Well until you know for sure what you're going to do why don't you find a distraction or a rebound?" She said.

"What's a rebound?" I asked.

"It's generally a stranger that you have sex with. It might help." She explained.

"I don't want a rebound. The thought of sleeping with a stranger really freaks me out." I admitted.

"Then don't have sex with a stranger. Not gonna lie, Nat and I've already discussed it but why don't you join in one of our scenes? It could help you decide what you want." She offered.

"Alright, yeah." I agreed.

"Tonight after dinner. We'll use the color system instead of a single determined safe word. You know the color system right?" She questioned.

"Red is stop, yellow is slow down and green is go?" I asked.

"That's right. Do you have any hard limits? Soft limits? Anything in particular that you like?" She asked.

"No limits, yet. I'll try anything once but I do like being restrained." I said blushing.

"Don't be embarrassed, honey. I need to know these things so I don't hurt you." She said.

"I know. What do I call you by the way?" I asked.

"Mistress or Ma'am." She answered easily.

Once Nat got home, she and I made dinner. We ate together and it felt normal. When Maria told us to go wait in their room while she did the dishes it felt normal. As Nat and I talked it felt normal. When Maria came in and informed us the scene was starting it felt normal.

"Strip." She demanded, taking a seat.

We both obeyed quickly saying a quick "Yes, Ma'am".

"Jayson, I want you to crawl over to me." She said.

With a quiet response, I dropped carefully to my hands and knees and crawled over to her. When I got to her, she held up a collar and leash and asked my consent in color.

"Green, Mistress." I kept my eyes down and voice low trying to be as submissive as possible, just because Steve wasn't horribly strict with my behavior didn't mean Maria wasn't. She latched the collar around my neck and the leash onto the collar. She then made sure it wasn't too tight before motioning Nat over. She crawled to the space beside me and knelt much like I was.

"I want both of you to turn and face each other." We turned toward each other. " Now, I want you two to kiss, the only rule is no hands." Our eyes locked as we leaned in. when our lips met there was no spark, nothing to signify anything special, just skin on skin but it still felt nice. Her tongue brushed mine before they met forcibly to dance with one another. Our tongues tangled in a loose embrace and it was actually hard to keep my hands off of her body. Our lips continued to move smoothly against each other as we kissed.

"Follow me," Maria said tugging at my collar. Nat and I crawled after her to the bed. She gave a firm pat and clicked her tongue. We got on the bed and awaited our next orders which were, " Nat lay on your back with your legs spread. Good girl. Jay, I want you to eat her pussy, can you do that for me?"

"Yes, ma'am," I answered and brought my mouth to her. I pushed the lips apart and flicked my tongue over the opening. It didn't taste bad, just stronger than I'd expected. Nat, in response, gave a sharp moan.

"Good boy, Nat you're not allowed to cum until I say," Maria said. I continued to move my tongue across her occasionally pushing in and giving little-sucking motions to her clit. She arched her back moaning while Maria gave us praises. This continued on for a bit until Nat let out a choked sound and fluid rushed into my mouth.

"Alright, if two can't follow orders you'll be punished," Maria said pulling my head back by my hair. " Both of you on your hands and knees, facing away from me." We both obeyed and Nat muttered an apology as we knelt. I nodded to her letting her know it was okay.

"You're getting three swats each. Jay, color." She said.

"Green," I replied.

"One," Maria said and I flinched as I heard the firm smack and Nat whine. "Two." The paddle came down on my ass and this continued until Maria reached six.

"Color." She said rubbing the stinging skin on both of us.

"Green," I responded breathlessly.

"Good, Jay I want you to fuck Nat." She said.

"Yes, Mistress," I said quietly a spike of nervousness hitting.

"Neither of you will come until I say so." she directed tugging lightly on my leash.

"Yes, ma'am." We said in unison.

Nat laid back and pulled me into a kiss. I kissed her back, hands roaming over her body. Her skin was soft, nothing like the hard body I was used to. Her moans were higher pitched, and a bit off-putting as I pushed a finger into her wet entrance. Her breasts felt strange pressed against my chest as she pulled my body on top of hers. And as I positioned myself and pushed into her a sense of wrongness filled me. I was turned on and just as into it as she was but she wasn't Steve. My body moved gently into her, hips thrusting as hard as I dared and it wasn't what I needed. I needed well-toned flesh and have muscle thrusting into me. A craving for deep, powerful thrusts going unsatisfied. Maria pushed two fingers into me and I released a groan. I moved my hands over Nat's body, stopping to lightly squeeze her breasts and roll my thumbs over her nipples before continuing down to rub my thumb over her clit.

"Nat, baby do you want to come?" Maria asked.

"Yes, Mistress." She squealed.

"What about you, Jay?" She questioned.

"Yes, Ma'am," I grunted.

"Then both of you may cum," Maria ordered and Nat and I were both thrown over the edge. I couldn't have held back if I tried. Her slick walls convulsing around me felt so good I couldn't think. "You both did so well." Maria praised pulling her fingers out of me.

Nat and I fell asleep curled around each other as Maria carefully cleaned us up and stroked our skin and cooed sweet nothings at us. I just wish I knew how fucking bad I'd feel in the morning.


	25. 24 Talks Help

Three more days came and went slowly. Every morning Steve would pick me up to see Bucky and every night I would find comfort and release from the stressful day in Nat and Maria's bed. In the morning upon seeing Steve's face guilt and disgust would come crashing down over me and during the night I felt wrong but oddly addicted. Steve knew Maria had informed him but he didn't say anything to me. She wouldn't have had to though, two days I had ended up smelling so strong of sex I was sure it didn't take a keen sense of smell to catch it. Nat and I had morning sex for the previous two days and neither time had I had the chance to shower before Steve swept me away to see his best friend. Our drives were silent, Steve not being able to handle another rejection and in all honesty, I wasn't going to be able to keep rejecting him.

Bucky smiled at us as we entered the prison and we tried to smile back but it was half-hearted and miserable.

"Uh sorry to interrupt, Mr. Rogers, Fury wants to see you." The female agent said poking her head in.

"Of course, Jayson you don't have to stay in here. I'll be back as quick as possible." Steve responded.

"I'm fine." My heart gave a sharp jerk.

"Puppy, what's going on with you two?" Bucky asked as soon as Steve was out the door and the door shut.

"We're fine." I lied.

"No, you're not. Talk to me, please? I can tell you two are having problems." He said.

"We're not having problems. We're not even together anymore. I broke up with him." I said sitting down.

"Why?" He asked.

"He lied to me. Instead of telling me you were coming to stay with us when you were stable he kept it from me." I explained briefly.

"You wouldn't have freaked out if he told you the truth?" He gave me a skeptical look.

"Of course I would have but I would have also been fine with it. I'd already told him before that, that I didn't hold it against you. It wasn't you that kidnapped and tortured me, it was the Winter Soldier. A brainwashed assassin in your body. I know what Hydra's capable of, I couldn't blame you." My voice was cracking and I hated it.

"Do you love him?" Well, that was unexpected.

I didn't even think about it," Yes."

"Then you should listen carefully. I'm not saying forgive him yet but you should try to work things out. You two are so good for each other and honestly I'm tired of you two looking like death." he advised.

"He wouldn't want me back," I told myself.

"And why the hell not?" He snapped without meaning to. I still flinched.

"I broke up with him. I've been rejecting him. Bucky, I started having sex with these two girls four days after we broke up and he knows it. He'd never want me back." I said hopelessly.

"Yes, he would. If you have to, give it a test run but I''m telling you, you both look like raccoons and it's a bit off-putting." He teased lightly.

Steve reentered the room.

"Can we go?" I sighed. Steve looked between us but nodded holding the door open for me to walk through.

"Bye Steve, bye Puppy," Bucky called sending us off.

"You two talked?" Steve asked as he led me out to the car.

"Yeah, we did," I said biting my lip nervously.

"Come on, we've been here a while and I need to get you back to the girls before they start wondering if I kidnapped you." He tried to joke.

I looked around noticing we had been there a lot longer than normal. " Actually can we go back to your place for a bit?" I asked quietly.

"Uh, yeah of course," Steve said. " I'll text Maria."

He did just that and then drove us home. As we walked into the house I felt familiar and right but somehow foreign and wrong. It smelled wrong and it didn't take long for me to realize that my own scent was missing. I looked around taking in the off-white walls and dark wood floor. It was all the same. Of course, it was but somewhere in my mind, I hadn't expected it to be.

"Jayson, if it's too much then I can take you back." Steve's voice sounded pained and unsure but he released a sigh of relief when I shook my head.

"No, I want to be here and I want to talk." I slowly walked over to the couch, carefully taking a seat but not getting comfortable. Huh. It had reminded me of my first few months here when things were new and tense and I wasn't sure about everything.

"Oh." I heard Steve say, bracing himself for the worst. Regardless he sat across from me and crossed his arms.

"I don't really know what I'm doing but I need you to listen," I said slowly, calculated. "I'm sorry I got so upset and I'm sorry for the things I've said. You honestly thought you were doing what's best for me and I should have appreciated that. I know it's too late to take all of that back or change anything but..." I trailed off trying to think about my next words.

"But?" He urged after a few moments.

"But I miss you. I miss us." I said tears forming in my eyes.

"Then tell me what I need to do to make it right." His voice was thick and I couldn't pinpoint exactly why.

"Before that, I know Maria told you about inviting me to join her and Nat. Did... Did she tell you anything else?" I asked.

"No. she didn't." He looked worried.

"I said yes. And I've been sleeping with her and Nat. I feel like shit but it did help me realize that no one else can compare to you. No one else can replace you." I was quiet. I knew my confession could change everything.

"It's fine. I can't be mad at you trying to get over me." I gaped at him. "Now, tell me what I need to do to have you back. Jay, I'll bring you the moon if you ask me to. I'm not sure how but I'd do it or die trying." He swore.

"Can we just sit here and talk for a bit? Just be two people for a while?" I asked.

"Of course we can." He still looked like he was hurting. My stomach chose that moment to growl and Steve gave a quiet chuckle. "Have you eaten recently?"

"No," I responded looking away from him.

"Jarvis, can you order pizza?" He requested.

"Of course, Sir," Jarvis responded.

"So, if you don't mind me asking - how was your first time with a woman?" Steve asked.

"I didn't hate it." I laughed.

"So you're bisexual?" He questioned.

"Definitely, but I prefer one man over the rest," I told him leaning back against him. He'd moved to sit beside me after requesting Jarvis to order pizza.

"Oh, yeah? What's he like?" Steve asked relaxing some.

"Well, he's really sweet and tall. He's handsome and looks really good with facial hair even though he keeps himself pretty clean-shaved." I eyed his peppered jaw. " Most of the time anyway. He also always tries to do what's right. He's also great in bed."

"Then why are you not there with him instead of here with me?" He asked giving a light smile.

"I'm right where I want to be."

"I'm glad you found your place." He said squeezing my knee.

"What did you do the last eight days?" I asked.

"Go through hell. I missed you." He said sounding like he maybe thought I wasn't actually sitting in his living room.

"I missed you too. I'm sorry, I know that you were just trying to protect me. I was being stupid." I apologized.

"Don't. I shouldn't have kept something that important from you especially since it involved Bucky. I know you can handle bad news, and I know you handle it better the earlier you're told. I also know that you don't need as much protection as I like to give you. I love you and I swear I'll never make that mistake again." He promised.

"Even if you do, I'll be more understanding," I said.

"Sir, the pizza is here," Jarvis said breaking most of the lasting tension.

"Thanks, Jarvis." Steve stood up and walked to the front door.

I watched him silently. The way he interacted with the kid at the door was sweet. The way he kept his voice lowered and the smile that broke his face was charming. He came back over and sat the box in front of us sitting back down where he was. I smiled and opened the pizza box grabbing both of us a slice.

"Have the girls been treating you good?" He took a bite chewing his food slowly.

"Yeah, they have," I told him.

"Jay, I'm not mad that you had sex with them. It's your right. Until you say we're together I don't expect you to not have sex with other people. I know it's awkward but I don't expect you to stay loyal to me if we're not together." He said.

"You're right it's awkward. I don't think I want to continue whatever relationship I have with them. I want to give us a try and I'm serious about it." I said picking at my food.

"Can I take you out tomorrow?" He asked.

"Take me out?" I repeated.

"On a date. Maybe have dinner and then go for a walk?" He gave me a hopeful smile.

"Yeah, that sounds good." I smiled back.

We ate and talked until late in the evening, then Steve took me back to Maria and Nat. Both women were having coffee at the table.

"How'd it go, Honey?" Maria asked.

"It went well. I have a date tomorrow." I said smiling to myself.

"Good, I'm happy for you guys," Nat said grinning.

"I take it you won't be joining us tonight?" Maria questioned giving me a knowing smirk.

"No, sorry. I just don't want to risk anything right now." I said almost worried that they'd be offended.

"Don't be sorry Baby. We completely understand, but if you do change your mind just know you have a place in our bed anytime." Nat said.

"Thanks... For everything." I couldn't help but smile.


	26. 25 Take Me Home

I was nervous. There was no reason to be but in all reality, it was my first date and I was nervous. Nat was fussing over my hair as I buttoned the off-white collared shirt. Maria insisted I wear it. Said woman was off in the corner looking me over slightly laughing a bit when Nat yelled at a particularly stubborn piece of hair.

"Hold on, Honey," Maria said sauntering over to fix the collar and unbutton the top to show more collarbone.

"Wow, you look sexy," Nat said hugging my shoulders loosely.

"Thanks but I think it's too much," I said eying the brand new dark jeans.

"Non-sense, it's perfect," Maria argued.

"Come on, Steve just arrived," Nat informed us looking at her phone.

"Oh thank god," I said almost running from the house.

"They grow up so fast." I heard Nat joke and fake a sniffle as I shut the front door. I hopped into the car and looked at Steve. He was wearing a dark blue dress shirt and black dress pants and he looked so handsome I had to remind myself to breathe.

"You look amazing." He said.

"So do you," I replied.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked not looking away from me.

"Please? Before Nat and Maria come running out to play mommy and daddy." I laughed.

"Yes, definitely." He grinned, driving away from my hopefully temporary living establishment.

"Where are we going?" I asked watching the trees turn into buildings.

"A place called Chef's Table in Brooklyn." He said.

"Sounds nice," I commented.

"It is, I was able to pull some strings and get a reservation for tonight." He told me.

"Reservation?" I asked kind of confused. I may not have known much about the normal world but I knew that most restaurants didn't require a reservation.

"Yeah it's a five-star restaurant." he said blushing.

"Steve, you didn't have to do this," I said quietly.

"Yes, I did. I do. I've never taken you out before and you deserve nothing but the best." He said firmly.

"You're crazy, that's the only explanation," I said shaking my head.

"No, I'm perfectly sane. I had to go through a mental evaluation to get the serum so I have the paper's to prove it." He said parking.

"You really know how to impress a guy," I said as he opened the car door for me.

"I'm trying." He said leading me into the building.

We were seated and soon had red wine sitting in front of us as we waited for food. "Our waiter has a hard-on for you," I said quietly.

"For being such a smart kid you're very oblivious. He couldn't take his eyes off of you." Steve laughed.

"Whatever, you're the only person who has ever thought of me like that," I said sipping the wine.

"Don't sell yourself short, actually watch him." He said shifting his eyes to the man.

He was in his early thirties, not bad looking either. He had dirty blond hair and dark brown eyes. Those same dark brown eyes kept glancing my way. I looked away from him and back at Steve.

"See what I mean?" He grinned.

"Why are you so smug?" I asked leaning away from him.

"Because I have a sexy young man with me tonight and others can't keep their eyes off of you." He said still grinning.

"You're doing a lot of sweet talking tonight," I commented.

He sighed," I'm just trying to show you how sorry I am and how much I do care about you." He thanked our waiter as he set our food down.

"I appreciate it but you're trying too hard. I wanted you without you emptying your wallet. I really don't need to be impressed." I explained.

"No, but I need to win you over again." He said nudging my leg with his foot.

"You're still trying too hard," I told him giving a quiet laugh.

We ate in silence after that, soon Steve took care of the bill and we walked out and bypassed the car walking to a park a few blocks away. Our hands were intertwined. We were walking so close that I could feel his body heat. This felt right. It was perfect.

"Have you been morphing regularly?" He asked.

"I haven't morphed since I started staying with the girls," I admitted.

"It won't be long until you have to." He said thoughtfully.

"It won't but I'm fine for now," I said.

"Hey, why don't we take a trip? Somewhere south where it's warmer? Then we can go swimming like you wanted to." He suggested.

"When?" I asked.

"In a few weeks? So I have time to get everything planned and organized." He said.

"Yeah, that sounds good." I agreed.

"Jay, if you ever met someone of your own kind what would you do?" He asked after several minutes of silence.

"I'm not sure. If I could I'd like to ask questions. I only know what my parents got around to telling me. Beyond that, I'm lost. Humans aren't exactly experts on werewolves despite what they think." I told him.

"If you were ever offered to join them, would you?" He said quietly.

"I don't know. That like asking a deaf person if they'd prefer to be with other deaf people when they've been around people with perfect hearing their entire lives. Someone may think fitting in is more important but someone else may not even notice their differences." I explained.

"You're not wrong." He said wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"I've always hated being stuck here on Midgard with humans. I hated being different from them. Having my abilities always meant I was a weapon, which also meant that people were afraid of me and to this day I haven't decided which is worse." I murmured.

"Funny, I always hated being average. If I wasn't extraordinary or doing what others couldn't I felt like I was just a waste. If I didn't have a purpose then there was no purpose." He confided.

"I knew we were different but that explains a lot." I laughed.

"Opposites attract. That's the saying right?" He smiled.

MY heart gave a small flutter. "Yeah, that's the saying."

"Come on, I want to take you somewhere we can dance." He said leading me back to the car.

"Steve, I don't know how to dance," I admitted.

"That's fine, where we're going you won't be judged." He laughed.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Home, the living room has plenty of room to be a dance floor." He said.

"Is that a good idea? You're not supposed to take people home on the first date." I informed him.

"Jay, you use to live there." He responded.

"I know but is it really a good idea?" I asked again.

"If you really don't want to then we don't have to. He offered.

"I don't know if I can trust myself right now," I said quietly.

"Do you trust me?" He asked.

"Please don't." I pleaded.

He pulled over," Jay I need an answer so I know where I'm going."

"Alright, let's go back to your house," I said.

"Are you absolutely sure that's what you want?" He asked for confirmation.

"Yes, I'm sure," I told him with a bit more confidence. He nodded and started driving again. This time we stayed air was tense and both of us were afraid to say something wrong and start a fight.

"I'm sorry," I said as we pulled up to his house.

"Jay, don't be. We're trying right?" He asked.

"Yes, but..." I struggled with my phrasing.

"But what Jayson?" He bit out.

I flinched," But what if we're just wasting time? I don't want to give you false hope or a false sense of security."

"No matter what, if I lose you permanently, it's going to hurt. I know there's a possibility of us not ending up together, I just want to enjoy the time I may have, I didn't do that enough before. I'm very well aware that not everyone gets a happy ending and God knows I don't deserve one." He said brows furrowed." Can we not think about it tonight?"

"You're right, it's a conversation for another time. Now, are you going to teach me to dance or am I going to live forever without knowing how?" I joked trying to lighten the mood.

"you're not allowed to go another hour without this skill." He laughed helping me out of the car.

"If you say so." I grinned.

We walked arm in arm into the house. He told Jarvis to dim the lights and turn on some slow music. The music that played was relaxing. I smiled as Steve stood in front of me and held out his hand. "May I have this dance?"

"You may," I said placing my hand in his.

He pulled me close moving my arms so my hands rested on his shoulders and he moved his hands so they rested on my hips. "Just follow my lead." He whispered.

We swayed in time with the music taking steps around the room. I'm not sure what it was but regardless of my brain screaming no I pulled him down into a kiss that sent electricity through my body. We pulled each other closer as our lips moved slowly against each other. One of his hands moved to my lower back pulling me so close that nothing could fit between us. My hand moved to tangle in his hair. Soon I had myself backed against the back of the couch as our tongues invaded the others' mouth. I caught myself, finally, as my hand started to trail down his body.

"I think it's time you took me home," I said out of breath.

well.

"I think you're right." He replied panting


	27. 26 Sleep

I yawned deeply as Steve and I walked through the Shield facility. I hadn't slept since our date two days prior. I couldn't think of anything else but him and sleeping alone didn't seem to be an option. Every time I tried to shut down my brain and get some sleep images of him flooded my mind. The lack of food and sleep was finally catching up to me. Now that we were together I wanted to curl up next to him and go to sleep but I couldn't.

"Good Morning, Bucky." Steve greeted as we entered the room.

"Good morning." Bucky greeted back.

I sat against the wall and let them talk. I caught myself dozing off several times until Bucky's voice got my attention.

"Do you mind if I talk to Jayson for a moment?" He asked.

"Sure, not a problem," Steve said and left the room.

"You don't look much better," Bucky informed me.

"I know. I talked to him, we agreed to try things, we went on a date but I still can't sleep." I told him.

"Why?" He asked.

"I'm so used to sleeping next to him I can't sleep without him." I laughed.

"Puppy, how much did you care about him?" He sounded strangely hurt.

"I'll give my life for him," I said quietly.

"Then you have two options. Either forgive him and get it fixed or quit seeing him and ride it out until you're over him." He said forcibly.

"I don't want to ride it out." I snapped.

"Then forgive him, you're just hurting yourself." He snapped back.

"I don't think I can't," I said pleadingly.

"Why not? you forgave me and I tortured you for two months. What's the problem?" He asked his voice taking on a strange edge.

"It's not the same Bucky. I don't know you, you didn't know me. We're strangers to each other, I have no trust in you, you haven't sworn yourself to me." I said.

"And if I did swear myself to you and Hydra brainwashed me again?" He asked not quite finishing his thought.

"It's different. He didn't lie to me because he wasn't allowed to tell me the truth. He just lied. God damn it, I'm trying. I want to forgive him, I do. I just don't know if I can." I said.

"Puppy, Steve has changed a lot since we were kids but one thing that hasn't changed is he would never intentionally hurt anyone he cares about." He said voice lowered.

"what do I do?" I asked helplessly.

"When's your next date?" He asked.

"I think it's in a couple of weeks, we're taking a trip to the beach of a week," I told him.

"Alright, you can go. Can you let me talk to Steve before you two leave?" He said.

I nodded and walked out to see Steve waiting on a couch.

"Bucky wants to talk to you," I said before yawning again.

"Alright, I'll try to make it quick." He said standing. I nodded and plopped down on the couch giving a slight shiver as the cold leather touched my skin. Steve took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders before disappearing into Bucky's cell. I pushed my arms through the sleeves pulling the material closer and took a deep breath. His scent was all over the jacket and that was enough to lull me to sleep.

"Jay, wake up, we're here." I heard Steve say.

"Where?" I groaned pulling the jacket closer.

"Nat and Maria's house, they won't be home tonight but they left the door unlocked for you," Steve said.

"Then come in and just lie with me," I told him speech still slurred.

"Fine, but only to protect their pillows." He chuckled.

"You better keep me entertained then," I smirked looking at him.

"We'll see, come on." He said getting out. I got out as well and led Steve inside. I moved through the house to my temporary bedroom. Steve followed me and sat down on the bed.

"Do you want anything?" I offered.

"No." He said smiling.

"Good, I just want some sleep," I said pushing him so he was laying down. I crawled over to him laying myself against his body and between his arms.

"In two days you can get all of the sleep you want. We're going to stay on one of Tony's private islands." He said. I hummed dozing off. I slept soundly for a few hours. When I woke up I nuzzled my face into Steve collarbone and inhaled. He smelled so nice.

"Are you awake now?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm awake now. How long was I out?" I asked.

"A few hours." He said. I looked up at him and our eyes met in an intense gaze. I felt my body heat up as I realized how close we were and it was only made worse by the fact that we were in bed together. He leaned forward and my heart seized painfully in my chest. Our lips brushed against each other and my heart jump-started and panic flooded through my body. I blinked and heard a thud. I leaned over the edge of the bed to see Steve sprawled out on the floor.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"Get out." I snapped.

"Am I still going to see you in a few days?" He asked.

"Get out," I repeated jumping off the bed. I followed him to the front door but he paused.

"Jayson, tell me you're still coming with me." He pleaded.

"Pack tampons and I'll go," I said pushing him out the door and shutting it before he could argue.

I sighed. I knew what tampons were and knew that never in my life would I need them but Steve probably wouldn't do it anyway. He was too old-fashioned sometimes. This was going to be the test for our relationship. I didn't have high expectations for him but my heart still stuttered at the thought of him failing to follow my ridiculous request and being cut out of my life for good. It was a stupid request but he had offered the mood to prove himself to me and buying tampons was the most random and non-lethal thing I could think of. I slid down the door bracing myself against the emotional turmoil I was sure to feel after this trip. I almost ran outside to see if by some off chance he was still there. I don't know what I would have done if I had or if he was. I'd wanted more than anything to ask him to come back and forget about my random mood swing and the odd request. I wanted to tell him to take me home and spend the night naked in his bed and the next day naked in his arms, ignoring the world outside of ours and just sleep. I just needed some fucking sleep. Not the emotionally drained fitful sleep that seemed to want to be my mind's new lover, but the restful dreamless sleep I'd had just earlier that night while in his arms. I'd have liked to blame my emotions on the sudden rested system shock but that wasn't right. Somewhere inside of my brain, I was still angry, hurting from the perceived wrong.

I sighed burying my face in my arms and waited until I was calm enough to think things through but every time I tried before I just couldn't. My emotional state caused me to be unable to rationalize. I soon gave up and went to my room to begin packing. I really didn't want to go on the trip but I'd promised Steve to try. I owed him one last kindness if by the end of the week I'd decided I couldn't do it.

"Jayson, we grabbed donuts!" Nat called from the living room.

I looked out the window and noticed that bright sunlight was lighting the small bedroom instead of the table lamp on the nightstand. "Okay, be there in a minute," I called back. I finished packing and went to the kitchen where I was greeted by the girls.


	28. 27 Seven Days

I shifted for what must have been the 100th time in my seat. We'd been on this plane for nine and a half hours and I was still nervous. Seven days on an island, a private island, alone with Steve wasn't going to do much for my mental state but hell, if it meant I'd get to sleep for a while then I was more than happy to face my emotions head-on. I shifted once more trying to stifle a yawn. Steve being the caring man that he was had offered for me to go to sleep saying he'd wake me up when we landed but I was too anxious. The small private plane was comfortable enough and the air was warm. Mixing in Steve and his overpowering scent, it was all making it hard though.

"We'll be landing in about fifteen minutes, it'll be a twenty-minute drive to the house and then you should sleep, alright?" Steve informed me.

I nodded turning my head to face the window. The sky was clear blue with no clouds to blotch the vast expanses of the calming color. Most of our ten-hour flight had been spent in nerve-wracking silence but not for lack of trying on Steve's part. The tense silence was all on me; any attempted he made was briskly shut down. I vaguely heard Jarvis inform us that our descent had begun and I couldn't help but feel foreboding and agitation settle in me. At that point I had no hope for a future with him, I was too young and petty to just let it go. That didn't seem to stop his buoyant gaze from locking on my face from time to time but I knew he could sense my trepidation and lingering animosity. He was choosing to ignore it. Forever the optimist he was choosing to stay hopeful. It made my anger dissipate somewhat but I could still feel it curling in my gut ready to spring up and lash out at any misstep on his part. Just like it had done on our date when I'd unintentionally tried to ruin the night or when I shoved him out of my bed after what was probably an innocent kiss.

"Jay, are you going to stay on the plane?" Steve asked with a chuckle at my inattention.

"I thought about it," I mumbled upon standing. His gaze flickered down and his mood fell a bit but he tried his hardest to hide it. I sighed. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."

"Look, I'm trying. Please just try to have a good time." He pleaded helplessly.

I sighed giving him a nod and allowed him to lead me off the plane and to a car. The salty air felt good on my lungs. It was warm but a cool sea breeze came off of the water making the temperature seem less harsh. The car ride was surprisingly smooth but slow and it was getting hard to keep my eyes open. Luckily it took less than the predetermined twenty minutes and as soon as our luggage was inside I collapsed on the couch and my eyes shut until the next morning.

"The water is really clear," I said amazed. Steve hummed his agreement not pausing in his effort to make a comfortable lounging area in a shady spot. I rolled my eyes at the effort he was putting in but ignored him and waded into the water. The water was cold but I didn't pay it any attention as I pushed further. I glanced at Steve over my shoulder to see him relaxing in the shade. "You know the point of going to the beach is to swim right?" I snarked.

"You know you have a smart-ass mouth right?" He retorted.

"Language." I snapped playfully.

"So we're telling jokes now?" He teased.

"Maybe, maybe not. What are you going to do about it?" I challenged. He seemed to contemplate it for a moment before jumping up and sprinting at me. I laughed running from him but my legs were shorter and the water slowed me down enough that he caught me after a few minutes. His arm wrapped around my waist and I was lifted and spun around until Steve lost his footing and we both went down, the water breaking outfall.

"You used the water against me." I pouted.

"No, I just used it to my advantage." He laughed.

We stayed in the water until the evening air began to grow cold. We rushed inside laughing about the last wave that had knocked us off our feet. We both got dressed and went to the kitchen which Tony had flown out beforehand to stock with food. Steve offered to grill hamburgers and I agreed lazily, pulling my jacket closer to my body as we stepped out into the cold damp air.

"I really didn't believe Tony when he said it got cold here but damn I should have listened." Steve laughed handing me a plate.

"Do you believe that he'll stay away for the whole week?" I asked.

"No, I don't but I hope he does." He admitted.

"This is really good." I complimented.

"Thanks. Uh, I know we didn't get a chance to explore the house last night but I looked around this morning and it's one bedroom but I can take the couch if you're not ready to share a bed..." He trailed off.

"You're rambling." I laughed.

That night we hadn't slept in the bed together. While he was showering I fell into a fitful sleep in the chair that occupied one corner of the bedroom. The next morning breakfast was quiet until we both got more woken up, then we went on a hike until we found some suitable cliffs for diving. Although looking over the cliff edge I realized that I didn't like heights if I could see the landing.

"What's wrong, you looked happy a moment ago," Steve asked kicking his shoes off.

"I seem to have just discovered that I'm afraid of heights," I mumbled.

"You do fine flying." He commented.

"I also can't see the ground," I replied backing away from the uneven edge.

"You know how to concur fears right?" He gave me an evil grin.

"No, don't you think about it," I shouted darting away from him. He laughed and gave chase until finally, he grabbed me. I shouted my protests and struggled against his grip while he ran at the cliff. I gave a short cry as his feet left the earth in a graceful leap and I felt my heart stop and my brain speed up and my stomach in my throat as we dropped until we hit the water and I realized that I felt alive. I was alive and in love and where I was meant to be with who I was meant to be with. Our heads broke the surface and I couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled up. I wrapped my body around him as he swam back to land.

"Steve, kiss me," I said as he pulled us from the water. He responded by locking our lips together in an intimate kiss. I moved my lips against his savoring his taste mixed with the salty water. He pulled away from me pressing our foreheads together. I smiled finally feeling the lingering ire leave my body. Everything felt like it was falling into place. It felt like my personal hell was drawing to an end. I just needed to say the words and I'd be happy again but I couldn't at that moment, the timing was wrong.

I laughed running from Steve as the sun set behind us. I'd poked his belly button goading him until he finally decided to play along. I turned my body swiftly dodging the obstacles all the while laughing and not paying attention to the uneven ground. Until I toppled, my foot hitting an indent and hearing the odd snap of my ankle dislocating.

"Jayson, are you okay?" Steve asked running up to me.

"I'm fine, but I hurt my ankle," I said a bit disoriented from my fall.

"How bad is it?" He asked looking it over.

"I think it's just dislocated," I told him.

"Alright, it's getting too dark out here for me to do anything about it, let me carry you back to the house so I can relocate it." He sounded hesitant. I wrapped my arms around his neck and allowed him to hick his arms around me and pick me up bridal style. The trek back to the house was silent as I rested my head against him taking in the soothing scent I'd grown so attached to. steve didn't complain as my added weight made it harder to move across the rugged terrain. He'd never complained about helping me. He hadn't once complained about having to take care of me. He was so perfect that it hurt. And if I were being completely honest with myself I was having trouble remembering why I was mad at him in the first place. We reached the house and he set me gently on the couch, kneeling down so he could look at my ankle.

"You're right it's just dislocated. I can relocate it for you but it'll probably be sore for a day or so." He said rubbing it gently.

"Okay, do it," I said holding my breath.

"Alright on three. One. Two." The pain wasn't the worst I'd ever felt but the sound knotted my stomach making me want to puke.

"Are you okay?" He asked, voice soft.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said swallowing hard.

I fought back a yawn a few hours later. Steve laughed and poked my nose. His eyes were bright but held a sad cast to them that made his face look a bit older. It made my chest ache. "What's with the face?" He asked. I pushed myself up so I was straddling his stomach.

"Nothing, I'm just tired," I said trying to fight back another yawn.

"Alright, why don't you take the bed tonight, that way you can rest properly," Steve suggested.

"Or we can both sleep here, together, on the bed," I said slowly

"Are you sure?" He asked trying to hide his excitement.

"Yes," I whispered lowering my eyes. "Please?"

"Of course, anything you want." He agreed. We curled up together and I fell asleep in less than two minutes. My dreams were not happy dreams of some fantasy reality, they were, however memories I had of Steve from the moment he cut my hip open with his shield. Memories of the mix of emotions I'd felt around him. Memories of a time when he scared me and memories of a time I realized I felt something for him other than some neutral feeling of nothingness. Memories of worry and laughs and great sex that satisfied but also left me wanting more. When I woke up to an already dressed Steve I launched myself at him wrapping my around around his neck and pushed our lips together. He made a muffled sound of surprise and wrapped his arms around me to keep us from falling.

"What's gotten into you?" He laughed when I pulled away.

"I've missed you," I said tone a bit whiny.

"I've missed you too, Jay. I love you." He said happily.

"I'm hungry," I said.

"Okay, I'll make you breakfast while you get dressed." He laughed.

"Yes, sir," I said giving him a mock salute. I started rummaging around through my suitcase trying to find clothes. I threw a pair of sunglasses that Maria insisted I needed and they landed on a bag that Steve had brought and had yet to open. Curiosity crawled through me and I tried to ignore it but despite my best efforts, I couldn't. I moved over to the bag and unzipped it and couldn't stop the resonant laughs that escaped me upon what I saw. It was full of various boxes of tampons. No two were the same. I'd almost forgotten about the ridiculous demand I'd made. I ended up doubled over in laughter and only laughed harder when Steve came in to inform me that breakfast was ready.

"I didn't expect you to actually get any tampons let alone every box you could find," I said trying to calm my breathing.

"Okay in my defense you didn't specify and I've never had to buy tampons before and the lady who tried to help me couldn't." His face was tinted pink and it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

"Steve," I called before he could start rambling.

"Yes?" He answered.

"When we get back to New York I want to come home," I said looking at him shyly.

"Does this mean you've forgiven me?" His grin split his face and made him look years younger.

"Yes, I also want us to be together." My voice cracked.


	29. Four Nights

**I do apologize for the really slow updates, I promise I am still working on this and will not leave it unfinished. Please forgive all of my delays but I can't promise they'll get better but I can make sure I update at least once a month. Too much has been happening unforeseen events have caused my nice suspension in chaos to spiral out of control but hopefully, within the next few months, I can get it back the way it was. -J**

"If you don't stop asking if I'm sure and start fucking me into this mattress soon, you're sleeping on the couch tonight." I huffed.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want you to think this is all I want." Steve apologized.

"It's not all you want, I know that," I said irritated.

"Then quit fussing and let me prep you." He said firmly.

"Forget prep, I'll be fine," I whined.

"No, I'm not going to intentionally hurt you, especially when it can be avoided." He reasoned. I whined again when his hand started moving, stroking my shaft in all the right ways. My back arched when he finally pushed a finger in. Every part of my body was over sensitive and I couldn't stop the orgasm that hit my body when he covered a nipple with his mouth. He ignored the cum covering his hand and pushed in another finger and his tongue stroked the erect skin. I grunted as his fingers brushed the one spot inside of me that felt so damn good that it almost hurt. I moaned his name as he added a third finger. He gave me a throaty chuckle, his lips moving to suck lightly on my collarbone. I rolled my hips down on his fingers wanting him to pick up the pace but all I accomplished was him moving the hand that wasn't three knuckles deep in me to my hip and adding enough pressure that I couldn't move them. I let out a frustrated groan and only received another chuckle.

"Please Steve, I need this," I begged.

"So bad that you're breaking rules?" He asked raising an eyebrow. "Or was Maria that lenient with you?"

"Neither." I said trying to wiggle my hips."

"Alright then, be still and watch your mouth," he demanded.

"Yes, sir." I murmured stopping all movement.

"Good boy." He praised.

I whined as he pulled his fingers out and started pushing himself into me. I tried to be still like he had instructed but my back arched with the pleasure of being filled. Once his hips were resting against the back of my thighs he paused pulling another whine from me.

"Please stop teasing." I pleaded.

"Look at me." I did. " Beg."

I bit my lip to keep the words "please fuck me now" from coming out like they so desperately wanted to and it took a moment for me to think about what to say. " Captain, please move. Please, I need you."

He complied thrusting his hips slowly at first, picking up force and speed as time went on. He placed one hand on my pelvis as he continued to thrust into my body. I pressed my pelvis harder against his hand enjoying the strange pressure it was causing. He gave a grunt and once again commanded me to be still. I nodded but I knew I couldn't obey and be proven right with a swat that landed on my hip and the pausing of his hips."You're having a hard time listening tonight."

"I'm sorry. I'll try harder just please for the love of god move." I whimpered.

"Just because you asked so nicely." He teased and started thrusting, the pace was fast and almost brutal but he was hitting that spot that caused my back to arch. My muscles tensed around him, back bowing off the bed and I cried out as I came. My body was a mess and Tony was going to have a great time cleaning these sheets. Steve paused for a moment allowing me to catch my breath.

"Don't fall asleep, I'm not done with you yet." He warned and I realized that he hadn't gotten off, he was still rock hard inside of me. " I'm going to move and I want you on your hands and knees."

"Yes, sir," I responded swallowing hard.

He moved away from me allowing me to turn my body, resting on my hands and knees presenting my ass to him. I grit my teeth as his hand moved from either side of my spine down to the back of my thighs.

"Do you want this?" He asked moving his tongue from my sack up to the back of my neck, appendage never leaving my body.

"Yes, Captain, I want this," I told him spreading my legs some.

"Such a good boy." He breathed shoving into me roughly and drawing a moan from my lips. His thrusts rocked my body forward but his hands on my hips kept me from actually moving from my spot. As I grew closer to the edge once more Steve slowed his movements and pulled my upper body up so my back was pressed against his chest. His hips rocked slowly and he placed lazy, heavy kisses down my neck and on my shoulder.

"I love you." He said against my skin.

I whimpered."May I move freely?"

"You may." He confirmed.

I gave a light smile leaning my head to rest on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his head. He turned my face toward him and for a moment gray met blue sending waves of intense pleasure down my spine. He leaned in, lips meeting mine, tongues intertwining. A moan escaped both of us as we came together, feeling nothing but bliss.

"Kids? Steve, I don't know if you know this but I'm missing certain parts on my anatomy to have kids." I said turning my head toward him.

"I'm not asking if we can have kids, I'm asking if you've ever thought about it." Steve laughed.

"Yes, I have," I admitted softly.

"Did you ever want kids?" He asked.

"No, I've never wanted kids. Don't get me wrong I like kids but I would make a horrible parent." I told him.

"Why do you think that? You did great with Lukas." Steve asked honestly curious.

"For a couple of hours at most and I was babysitting. Being a full-time caregiver to children I call mine has never been in the realm of possibilities for me but I'm okay with that. I missed out on a lot of life training that would allow me to be a good parent." I said softly

"Jayson I don't think anyone is really a good parent if you try that's what counts. If you try to give your child a good life I think that's better than knowing every little problem that they might face." He placed a hand on my arm soothingly.

"Maybe. What about you?" I asked.

"I've always wanted kids but I can't picture it. I've never been able to. I think I wanted kids because I was supposed to have them just like marrying a girl that would be a good wife and mother." He explained.

"We're victims of circumstance." I laughed. "What about now?"

"I don't know, without the pressure it's become less of a priority and more of a distant fantasy." He said distantly.

"Steve if you ever want to have kids we can adopt or find a surrogate mother," I informed him.

"You don't want kids at all." He stated.

"And? If kids are going to make you happy then I'll be more than happy to help you raise a kid." I told him.

"Thank you but I'm good without kids." He laughed.

"So, that's a no on kids?" I asked.

"That's a no." He confirmed.

"It's getting late," I commented.

"Are you ready to go inside?" He asked.

"Yeah," I said standing up stretching my back groaning when it gave a series of pops.

"Sorry, I can rub your back tonight." Steve offered.

"I might take you up on that." I laughed as we walked toward the house. Once inside Steve had me take off my shirt and lay on the bed. I did as instructed and he got to work. His large warm hands moving over my back felt great, maybe just a great as the actions that morning that caused my back to be so sore in the first place. His thumbs rolling the knots out of my muscles almost made me want to argue with no more kitchen sex. I smirked at the memories of that morning and sighed at the mini-spat that followed.

"What are you thinking about?" Steve asked.

"This morning and how we should repeat it," I said giving a suggestive wiggle of my hips.

"Did you forget that's how you ended up with your back hurting all day?" He sounded unamused.

"And it was worth it," I stated.

"Jayson, nothing is worth you being in pain." He argued.

"I'm not in pain, it's a mild discomfort." I retorted.

"why can't you just let me take care of you?" He sighed.

"You do take care of me and I appreciate it but you can't protect me from everything. A bit of pain or discomfort every now and then isn't a big deal." I explained.

"I know but you shouldn't ever be in pain from something I've done." He reasoned.

"You realize that the first time we met you cut open my hip with your shield right?" I reminded.

"Yeah, I remember that." He mumbled.

"So maybe quit being so protective?" I suggested but he looked away from my brow furrowed. I rolled my eyes at him now unamused myself. I don't think he was understanding what I was saying. "You can still be my overly muscled boyfriend that will beat up all the bad guys, but your firsts can't fix a paper cut." I heard him chuckle and I grinned knowing that I got my point across.

"Fine we can repeat this morning sometime but can we try a position that not so strenuous on your back?" He was trying to compromise. I couldn't help but wonder if he had always approached things so politically.

"I can agree to that," I told him relaxing into his hands that were still working the muscles loose in my lower back. I'd never been on the receiving end of a message, I was surprised to find that it was much more relaxing than I had previously thought possible.

"Oh, um... I wanted to make sure you were okay with it first but I was wondering if I could call Nat tomorrow and have her and Maria take your clothes home." His voice wavered. "I was just thinking about it because you said you wanted to come home and if they agreed then, you know, we could go straight home." He was so cute when he started to ramble.

"Steve shut up and give her a call tomorrow." I laughed. He tried to stutter out something else but I turned my body, reached my hands out to cup his face and pulled him into a kiss. "Seriously Steve shut up." I placed my lips on his again.


	30. 29 Shopping

"Are we there yet?" I asked moving my face closer to Steve's collarbone. He gave a light laugh shaking his head at me. The gentle rocking motion was quickly lulling me back to sleep. I gave a low groan and dozed off again. I woke up again as I was laid on a bed. I whined loudly as Steve tried to pull away from me. I tightened my arms around his neck. "No, stay with me."

"Jay, you've got to let go so I can get us ready for bed, then I'll get in bed with you." He said quietly. I let him go and felt him remove my shoes and shirt, leaving my sweats on. I heard his clothes rustle before he crawled onto the bed behind me and wrapped his arms around me pulling me close. I turned my body so I was facing him and tried to shoulder my way closer. I sighed and he kissed my forehead and we fell into a deep sleep.

 _I moaned feeling lips on either side of my neck, the hips grinding against both the front and back of my pelvis sent waves of ecstasy through every fiber of my body. My heart thudded against my ribs as soft small lips were placed against mine. My hands moved to grip the slim face, fingers pushing into long, soft, red hair. She gave a soft moan in return pushing her tongue into my mouth. The mouth still on my neck turned upward in a smirk. Large rough hands carefully pushed us forward so I was hovering over her, my hips between her thighs. I ran my hands over her soft body until my hand was where I could push my fingers into her body. She gave a wanton moan and I wasn't far behind as fingers entered my body. She moved her hips down on my fingers, lips meeting mine again. Teeth bit into my shoulder causing me to hiss, feeling a slight sting as blood began to drip slowly down my back. Nat gave another moan and I pulled my fingers out of her and pushed myself into her grunting. She pushed her pelvis against mine. I opened my eyes catching a glimpse of shoulder-length brown hair as I turned my head to look at Steve. He gave me a sexy smirk and pulled me into a kiss pushing into me. We all released a deep groan as he carefully started thrusting, forcing me to also thrust into Nat. I felt something around my neck be tugged downward causing my body fall forward. My lips caught Nat's her facial hair scratching at my calloused hands cupped my cheek, my hips ground against hers, my shaft trapped between our bodies, and my legs straddled her hips. I pulled away from Bucky's lips gasping for air._

"Jay, it's time to get up," Steve said. He pulled the blanket off of my body causing my body to become cold quickly. I groaned sitting up rubbing my eyes trying to rub away the remnants of my dream.

"What time is it?" I asked blinking.

"It's only six-thirty." He gave a light laugh pushing the blanket back on the bed.

"Do I have time for a shower?" I stood stretching my spine. I winced when it popped in several places. Steve's blue eyes looked my body over, pupils dilating slightly.

"Only if I can join you." I laughed at his response but led him into the bathroom and started the shower. We both stripped down and stepped under the spray.

We took the walk to Bucky's cell in a sexually satisfied daze, I licked my lips still able to taste Steve on my lips. His arm was slung over my shoulders lazily and my hand occasionally brushed his thigh as we walked side by side. The agents that walked passed us smiled and tried not to stare as we continued on our path. We made it to Bucky's cell and walked in. Bucky smirked at us seemingly amused by us. I rolled my eyes trying t look annoyed and went to sit in the corner.

"Hey, I'm glad to see you two so happy and together," Bucky commented. I was suddenly irritated with him and I couldn't place why. It really wasn't bothering me, the reason that is. I didn't need a reason to feel any negativity toward him.

"Alright, I wanted to tell both of you this, I spoke to Director Fury this morning and it looks like you might be getting out of here in the next week or two," Steve announced. I fought back the anxiety and glanced at Bucky who looked completely shocked.

I couldn't help but panic a bit. If Fury was so eager to get Bucky off of Shield property that meant that something was up. I knew why Fury wanted Bucky elsewhere in the first place but a full mental evaluation took time. It hadn't been nearly long enough. Fury wasn't one to rush things without a reason. Hydra must've been making moves. Bucky must have been thinking the same thing because I could smell the excess sweat rolling down his body.

"Neither of you needs to worry, we won't let Hydra get their hands on either of you," Steve said in full Captain mode. I blinked at him, his face set in a stony mask of determination. I don't think he understood that the two of us were not the only special agents that Hydra had. I also don't think he understood that Hydra wasn't very good at cutting their losses. Bucky knew it too.

"We need to make sure we train a lot when you get out when you get out. Hydra isn't going to let their oldest asset go. We all know it." I said sitting up a little straighter.

"Puppy's right. Hydra won't let either of us go. When you brought me here there was already two more plans to get Puppy back in their custody. Now that Shield has both of us they're going to double their efforts." Bucky agreed.

Steve nodded and the three of us fell silent, all receding into our minds, thinking over the situation. We were planning. We needed a plan for anything and everything. Hydra didn't play fair. I pulled my knees to my chest and took a deep breath.

"Alright, we're going to get out of here, see you soon Buck." I heard Steve say. I stood giving Bucky a curt nod of understanding that he returned. Steve and I walked back through the facility.

"Jay, I promise I won't let anything happen to you. I love you." He swore when we'd finally reached the vehicle.

"It's not me I'm worried about." I told him getting into the car. He also got in and started the engine turning his concerned blue eyes on me. "If they get their hands on Bucky they'll scramble his brain again and we'll be back to square one, if they get their hands on me I'll be they get their hands on one of the Avengers there's no telling what will happen."

"They won't get any of us." He stated as if it were a fact.

"You don't know that. Steve, you know as well as I do that we need to prepare for the worst. I'm not saying don't hope for the best but this isn't your first rodeo either." I countered.

"I just got both of you back. I'm not going to lose you again." He was talking through clenched teeth and the anger radiating off of him was terrifying.

I looked away from him. I hadn't seen him this angry before. I hadn't felt the emotion rolling off of him in all-consuming waves. In a way I was scared.

"How about we go grab lunch and then go shopping? We should get Bucky some civilian clothes." Steve said around a calming deep breath. I nodded still a bit tense because of the lingering mood. "I'm sorry, Jay. I'm just frustrated with the situation."

"It's okay. It's not a good situation. We're all tense. Until we bring Hydra down completely we're going to be tense." I told him softly. Even though he was trying to hide it he was still angry and it made me nervous. We pulled into the parking lot of a small diner and I heard Steve sigh.

"Can you please stop looking away from me like that." He pleaded. I looked at him confused. My body tried to relax but it wasn't working. "You know I won't hurt you, right?"

"I know. I'm sorry, I'm not used to you being so emotional towards missions." I said turning my eyes to him and forced them to stay put.

"This isn't a mission. We didn't receive orders. This is personal." He declared.

I nodded. "No, you're right. It's personal now. But we have to keep calm and stay alert, that's the only way we can keep everyone safe."

"Damn." I apparently gave Steve a funny look after his curse because he laughed. "You're never allowed to leave me again, you're the only thing keeping me grounded most days."

"So... About that lunch you mentioned." I said stomach giving a loud growl. He gave me a loud laugh. I smiled feeling the tension role out of the vehicle in long waves. He pulled me into a quick kiss and we went into the diner. We took a seat in a back booth and grabbed the menus. The waitress that walked over was very short and had a straight, pearly smile.

"What can I get y'all gentlemen to drink?" She asked batting her long eyelashes.

"Two waters," Steve replied. She nodded.

"I'll be right back with that and to take your orders." her southern accent was lovely.

"What looks good?" He asked trying to make small talk.

"I'm actually not sure," I said scanning the simple items of the laminated paper. "What about you?"

"We're at a diner, burger, and fries." He said beaming at me. I laughed shaking my head at his simplicity.

"That sounds good."

Soon we were finished with our food and waited for the waitress to come back with our check. I laughed at something stupid Steve said when the waitress came back. She placed the check on the table and Steve took it pulling out his wallet. She leaned one hand on the table facing me.

"So sweetheart do you have a special lady in your life?" She asked giving me a smile.

"I don't have a special lady in my life," Her face lit up. " I do however have a special man."

Her smile dropped and Steve said, "Okay Baby, we have shopping to do." And her face fell more.

We said thanks and told her to keep the change. She just stared at us, her face turning crimson as Steve leaned over planting a chaste kiss on my lips. I grinned as we got back to the car and Steve started heading for another place. "I think we thought her not to flirt with customers."I laughed.

"Well, she'll never flirt with you at least." He grinned.

"Were you jealous?" I asked poking his ribs.

"Maybe a little." He said pulling up to a store. I looked around seeing many people walking around the shops, some shopping, others just browsing the shelves. My stomach twisted and worry wiggled its way into my mind.

"Jay. Don't worry. I'm right here." He said placing a hand on my thigh. I nodded pushing away the feelings of unease. We got out of the vehicle and slowly walked into one of the many stores. I looked around memorized by what I saw. It was strange. Clothes hanging and folded on shelves and placed on life-sized dolls. The smell of so much unwashed dye irritated my nose and made the air taste like dead plant matter and textile waste.

I leaned away from a rack of jeans that Steve was looking at, wrinkling my nose at the strong smell that wafted out as Steve moved each individual article.

"Hi, is there anything I can help you find today?" We both jumped at the sound of a woman's voice. I looked her over relaxing when I was sure she was just a regular girl. She had short blue hair, curling out from her wool hat, she was about my height and had a cute round face with a polite smile.

"No, thank you," Steve said giving her an equally polite smile.

"Alright, just let me know if you need any help. My name is Sara." She said walking to another customer. I watched her go, catching whiffs of cheap masculine cologne coming from her was a welcome change from the horrid new clothes smell.

"Why do you keep making that face?" Steve asked grabbing a second pair of jeans to add to the first draped over his arm.

"New clothes stink," I said moving to stand on the side that wasn't holding jeans. Steve chuckles.

"I'll start washing them as soon as we get home." He said moving to a different rack. "Do you want to go find some shirts? They probably smell better." He pointed to the back of the store where instead of a bunch of pants, a bunch of shirts was displayed. I nodded going to the shirts looking around.

I had about six shirts when my eye caught a dark gray shirt that made me grin. Printed in the center was Steve's shield. I grabbed three and draped them over my arm.

"Jay, are you ready to check out? We've got a couple more stops to make and then we can go home" Steve said from behind me.

"Yeah, I'm ready," I said grinning to myself.


	31. 30 Walls do Break

Steve shifted so his weight kept my arm pinned against my back as he continued to thrust into me. I let out a moan that was distorted by the dryer vibrating against my chest. I pushed back against him gripping the edge tightly with my free hand. I moaned again when I felt his teeth brush the back of my neck. My entire body slowly tensed from the overwhelming pleasure. His arm came around to rest against my mouth as his thrusts became faster and more sporadic. Nowhere near close enough to the edge I seemed to plummet over, my teeth sinking into his forearm cutting my cry short. Steve groaned in my ear, hips slowing to a stop.

"Can you release my arm now?" He asked after a few minutes. I unlocked my jaw, blood immediately filling my mouth as the wound was allowed to bleed freely. I grabbed the closest towel that we neglected to fold so we could have sex and placed some against his arm and another part was used to catch the blood I spit out. Steve leaned down and placed a gentle kiss against my neck. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Are you okay?" I asked.

"Great. How about you go get your mouth rinsed out while I get this covered and then we can finish the laundry." He said.

"We also need to clean up our mess," I said pushing myself away so I could see my cum dripping down the side of the machine. I pulled up my pants as Steve chuckled.

I rested my head on Steve's chest as he stroked my hair. The blinds and curtains were closed making the room dark. After getting laundry done the previous day we decided that we could afford a lazy day. I couldn't help the off feeling though. It had been a lingering feeling since we'd reentered our relationship. I couldn't place the feeling though. I couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from. We were missing something. Something had vanished during our break and it couldn't find it's way back, leaving a very incomplete feeling in its wake. Steve didn't seem to notice it but I couldn't shake the feeling. Everything seemed so normal but there was a hesitance making everything feel... Wrong?

"Jay, what are you thinking so hard about?" Steve asked. His thumb rubbed the crease between my eyebrows until the skin was smooth again.

"I'm actually not sure how to talk to you about this." I grabbed his hand moving it to my naked chest and away from my face.

"You can tell me anything." He encouraged rubbing my hand. I hummed letting the conversation be put on pause for now. I tried to think back to when the feeling had started exactly but whet my brain came up with was confusing. It kept going back to the day we caught Bucky. The dream I'd had triggered the off feeling. Almost non-existent at first and then it was put on hold while my brain healed from the concussion. It picked up where it left off. My fingers trailed to the pendant hanging around my neck as I sat up and drew my knees to my chest.

"I'm worried about you. You haven't been yourself for a while and it seems like you're just drifting further away. I want to help but I can't unless you talk to me." Steve said also sitting up.

I sighed. " I don't know where to begin. I'm not sure how to make it make sense." He also sighed adjusting himself like he was prepared to sit there until I figured it out.

"Start talking, I'll ask questions as needed. Sound good." I nodded.

"Something has been off with us."

"Since the day we captured Bucky." He finished.

"Yeah, I can't place what it is. I initially thought that the break up had just caused a rift between us that we hadn't quite come back from but after some thought, I realized that it did start that day." I took a deep breath trying to figure it out.

"That day was the first time you refused to talk to me." He said.

"My memory of that day may be fuzzy but I'm pretty sure I was speaking to you." My brows furrowed trying to think past the fog.

"That's not what I meant. You had a nightmare before we attacked Hydra. I asked you about it but you completely shut me out." He said.

"I had every intention to talk to you about it after the mission but a head injury got in the way." I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Do you want to tell me about it now?"

"I don't remember it well but it started out with Bucky chasing me through the streets and we ended up at this place... It was a building but I don't remember what purpose it served. Anyway, I came to a dead end and then you were there and you both were trying to get me into this bed. I kept asking you to stop but you insisted everything was fine. The last thing I remember is the fucking shock collar." I flinched a bit as the word slipped out of my mouth but Steve ignored it.

"I wouldn't do that to you. If you wanted me to stop anything I would. You know that right?" I nodded. "Have you had any more dreams like that?"

"Not like that. No." My voice was quiet.

"But you've had more?" His question wasn't a question at all. It was more of a fact stated, incomplete and left hanging in case I wanted to shut down the conversation and leave it for another time.

"Just one. It wasn't a nightmare. It was... A sex dream. It started out with you, Nat and I and then it turned into you, Bucky and I. I'm not attracted to Nat or Bucky. That one kinda came out of left field." I looked away from him, ashamed of what my subconscious mind was possibly trying to tell me.

"Jay, wet dreams don't always mean you're attracted to someone. It could have something more to do with trust or maybe it didn't mean anything at all. There's nothing to be embarrassed about." He tried to reassure me.

"I know but I still don't like it," I argued. He laughed pulling me so I was leaning against his side. I smiled a little pushing myself closer.

"I love you." He said planting a firm kiss on my head. I nodded knowing he didn't expect an answer. "How do you feel now?"

"I don't know. That feeling has definitely subsided." I told him.

He leaned back so I was once again laying on his chest, relaxing on his naked chest in our darkened room. I wanted to enjoy the last bit of time we would have until Bucky came to stay with us.

The next day when we went to visit him there wouldn't be glass between us. There would be nothing between us but air. I wasn't nervous or scared, I didn't dwell on it. Whatever reaction I had would be true and without alteration based on the feelings, I would have by overthinking. Steve ran his fingers up and down my spine. I shivered in pleasure leaning into his touch. It felt good and relaxing.

"what do you know about your people?" Steve asked after a few hours of running his fingers up and down my spine in silence.

"That our first change comes around the beginning of puberty. We're stronger than humans. We have a better sense of smell than most dogs and our hearing his amazing. And there's the whole if we don't phase very ofter we die." I said.

"Is that really everything you know?" He asked.

"I don't know anyone else like me. I wasn't able to ask questions growing up. If anything happens I don't know if it's normal or not." I buried my nose in his chest.

"Right. You were young when Hydra took you. Maybe Thor could find something out. Get some answers for you." He suggested.

"Maybe I'll ask him someday." I took a deep breath. My home realm was very obscure and unknown to most realms. It was one of the smallest and was often overlooked by people who knew sub-realms well.

"Baby it was just a suggestion if you don't want to you don't have to." My ears perked at the name.

"Since when do you call me baby?" I asked lifting my head so our eyes locked.

"Sorry, it just kind of slipped." He said moving his blue eyes away from my face.

"No don't be. I like it." I told him kissing the small indent in his collar bones at the base of his throat. He gave me a smile pulling me up into a kiss.

I laughed as Steve tried to flip a pancake, splattering batter everywhere. "It would be easier if you used a spatula and quit trying to impress me." He turned giving me a mock glare as he grabbed the aforementioned tool. Soon he had two stacks of pancakes ready for both of us and he sat down so we could eat.

"How are you feeling?" Steve asked as we finished breakfast. I shrugged my shoulders still trying to ignore what was going to happen. Steve nodded in understanding but I highly doubted he understood what was really going through my mind. It wasn't just a big step for me. It was one of those obstacles that seemed impossible to overcome.

The car ride and the walk to Bucky's cell were very much like the first time we made it. Steve kept a hand on my back but this time I felt like it was to keep me from running. I felt like it to. My legs wanted to turn and sprint for the exit. I kept moving forward however and the Captain helped with that. After what seemed like forever we made it to the door of the cell and paused for a brief moment. Steve gave me the time to take a deep breath and didn't rush me when I needed a little bit of extra time. There were several Shield Agents waiting around as well. I took note of each individual agent and noticed Agent Sparkles standing with the others. I was a bit surprised to see him but then again shield seemed to trust me a lot more than they did in the beginning.

With a final nerve calming breath we walked in. Bucky stood on one side of the room leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. My feet quit working and my heart began racing. Steve took a step toward Bucky and when Bucky didn't move Steve walked over finally able to properly greet his best friend. I watched them carefully trying to keep my nerves in check.

Everything in my body wanted to phase and put distance between Steve and Bucky but I stopped myself. Steve and Bucky hugged and I had to refrain from growling. I didn't want Bucky to hurt Steve. I watched him closely until I heard Steve talking to me.

"Jay come on. Slow steps you've got this." Steve said grinning. I took another deep breath and took slow steps half way to them. I paused my movements, clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth.

"You're almost there, come on." Steve encouraged but Bucky eyes me, reading my body language perfectly.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Stevie. He's close enough for now."

Steve sighed. " You're right. When you're ready." Our eyes connected and I wished I could just walk over to them. My palms were sweaty, my heart was beating so hard I thought it might explode, and a tension headache had started to form at the base of my skull.


	32. 31 Welcome Home

I had been standing in that spot for an hour. I had finally moved from the center of the room to stand next to Steve. Bucky kept his hands where I could see them for that hour, also keeping his posture as relaxed as possible to appear non-threatening. Steve refrained from touching me and making me feel trapped. I watched Bucky closely and tried to keep my breathing even.

"We'd better get going. See you later." Steve said leaning in for another hug.

Everything happened so fast that I had trouble processing what had happened. Bucky moved in to hug Steve, his scent wafting towards me. Then I was on all fours jumping up and licking my jaws on his arm for just a moment until I heard both him and Steve say something and Shield Agents rushed in all but busting down the door. I scrambled away from all of the chaos and confusion. I couldn't think straight at that moment. I felt like a cornered animal. Steve eventually sorted everything out and all but one agent left. I recognized her. It was Claire. She walked carefully over to Bucky and started to attend to his wound. Meanwhile, Steve slowly approached me, and crouched down.

"Baby, it's okay." He held his hand up and I leaned into it looking over his shoulder at Bucky. Bucky was saying thank you to Claire and she smiled and said something back. "Baby? Can you please phase back?" I sat for a few more minutes trying to kick myself back into motion.

I was eventually able to phase back and Steve gave me the car keys and told me to wait there he'd be out soon. I nodded quickly exiting the room. I made my way to the car, ignoring everyone I passed. I was finally able to breathe once I was seated in the car and away from the situation. Steve wasn't mad, at least he didn't seem to be. I sighed trying to figure out when exactly I'd bit him and why he hadn't even tried to defend himself. Maybe he thought he'd get in trouble but I honestly didn't think he would. Not with everything going on. Steve got into the car and Started driving.

"Are you okay?" He asked as we left the parking lot.

"Am I okay? Is Bucky okay?" I asked a bit put off by those being his first words.

"He's fine, Baby. Now, are you okay?" He asked again.

"I'm fine," I stated slouching in my seat.

"Awe, don't worry about it. Your reaction was honestly better than I had anticipated but I don't think you should go back. I think you might adjust faster in a home environment." He smiled and squeezed my thigh.

"I don't think there will be an easy way for me to adjust," I stated.

"Maybe not but eventually you'll get there. You did great before the glass and restraints were removed so that might help when it comes to this." I nodded not really believing that.

The next two days Steve spent giving me a pep talk. It didn't help my nerves. I tried to keep calm, I tried to occupy my mind, I tried distractions. Nothing worked. When it finally came time for Steve to go get Bucky. I threw together a meal to help welcome Bucky. I threw a meatloaf and started looking through the rest of the kitchen for something to go with it. Eventually, I decided on something to go with it. I decided on sweet baby carrots and green beans. It was simple but it would work.

Everything was almost done when Jarvis said," Mr. Moore, Captain Rogers wished for me to tell you that they'll be home in about fifteen minutes."

"Thanks, Jarvis." I finished up the last little bit I had to do. I heard the front door open and bit back the twisting in my stomach. There wasn't going to be a repeat of the cell incident.

"So puppy can cook?" I heard Bucky say, voice moving closer to the dining room.

"Just wait until you taste it." Steve laughed. I rolled my eyes setting down three glasses of water. They stepped into the room and Steve immediately greeted me with a kiss on the cheek.

After dinner, I all but ran to our room. I didn't want to be around Bucky anymore. He'd been nothing but polite but I couldn't get over the imaginary weight and metal prongs sitting against my neck. I tried to ignore the threat in my home. I shook my head and phased feeling a bit better. I laid on the foot of the bed resting my head on my front paws and waited for Steve. It didn't take long for him to join me. He gave me a disapproving look but didn't say anything. I watched him strip down and crawl into bed.

"Is that how you're going to sleep tonight?" He asked not looking at me. I have a soft grunt of confirmation. He just sighed. "Thank you for sitting with us through dinner."

I nudged my nose under his hand. He pets my head. I army crawled closer and rested my chin on his stomach. He continued to pet me until he fell asleep. I closed my eyes and evened out my breathing but I didn't ever actually get to sleep. I got up before both of them and went down to the gym. I phased and hopped on the treadmill. I was two hours into my run when the door opened and Bucky's strong scent hit my nostrils as he walked in.

He paused eyes moving up and down my body for a silent moment. "Sorry, I didn't know you were up yet."

"I'm done anyway," I said turning the machine off and grabbing my discarded shirt. I went to walk past him but he stopped me with a hand on my stomach.

"Puppy, you don't have to cut your workout short. I can come back later." He said quietly.

I released a growl from deep in my chest and it took all I had not to morph and tear into him. Something dark crossed Bucky's face and I found myself scrambling away from him.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He said taking a step toward me.

"Past trends say otherwise." I snapped backing away from him. He took a few steps back holding his hands in front of himself in surrender. I quickly made my way out of the gym and to the bathroom. I locked both doors and sat on the floor trying to calm my racing heart. My nerves felt like they were firing through my body at light speed. I took a deep breath forcing myself up and into the shower. I stripped the rest of the way down and turned on the water getting a blast of cold water to my chest before it slowly warmed up to almost scalding temperatures but it's what I need. I washed my body slowly relaxing for the most part. When I was done I sighed turning off the tap and got out and towel dried myself. I wrapped the towel around my waist and stepped into Steve and my room pausing when my eyes landed on a half-naked Steve.

"Are you good?" Steve asked blue eyes full of concern. I nodded walking over to his spot where he was seated on our bed. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay after the incident with Bucky this morning." He grabbed my hips pulling me onto his lap.

"You've shaved." I started kissing his neck rolling my hips against his.

"Yeah, I need to get back into the habit." He said around a groan grabbing my hair.

"Why?" I placed my lips on his Adam's apple sucking lightly.

"I've always kept my face clean shaved." He tilted his head back closing his eyes.

"That could change." I pushed him back and removed the towel covering my lower body. He ran his hands down my body eyes glazed over. "I personally think facial hair suits you."

"Then maybe I need to throw out my razor." He pulled me into a kiss, his tongue tangled with mine causing a moan to leave my throat.

"Sorry to interrupt but Natasha is here and she is requesting to see you both," Jarvis said causing both of us to groan and pull away from each other. I muttered a quiet "fuck" and Steve told me to watch my mouth. I forced myself to get up and got dressed. we walked down the stairs and found Nat and Bucky sitting at the table chatting.

"Hey you two, hope I didn't interrupt anything," she smirked knowingly and Bucky looked away from us. Steve mumbled something taking a seat and I rolled my eyes moving to stand behind my boyfriend. "Okay, I promise I didn't come here to interrupt you two having sex.I have news from Fury. First. We've stationed double a number of agents around the property since Hydra has been more agitated the past few weeks. Second, the next big move we make will be in two weeks but Bucky has to stay here and someone needs to watch him."

"I'll do it," I stated deciding it would be good for me to spend time with Bucky.

"Are you sure?" All three of them asked simultaneously.

"I'm sure," I said rolling my eyes once again.

"Honey, you don't have to. We can get someone else." Nat said leaning closer to me.

"I know, can we move on now?" I asked a bit irritated by the calling to question of my decisions and it didn't help that I was sexually frustrated.

"Alright, Tony had upgraded Jarvis' programming here to help keep an eye on things. At the first sign of any trouble, he'll alert you and alert the Avengers and Shield. Some of our Intel has stated that Hydra wants both of you boys back but we aren't going to allow that to happen. No matter what happens, our agents stationed here will not be going anywhere. They're here to stay until we're out of the woods with Hydra." Nat said her voice carrying determination.

"I think we're failing at the just in case course of action," I started leaning back some.

"Jayson's right, we need a plan if our defenses fail," Steve said crossing his arms.

"We can't have a sure-fire plan for that." I rolled my eyes.

"No, but we can build a base for a plan." I was trying not to snap but with the existing agitation, it was getting harder. Nat lowered her gaze for a moment before looking back up at me and nodding.

"I'll talk to Fury."She said yielding to the idea that Shield wasn't impenetrable.

Soon Nat left and it was just the three of us and it was very awkward with the three of us just gathered silently in the dining room. I eventually left them alone and made my way to the bedroom. I collapsed face down on the bed feeling the lack of sleep finally catching up to me as I fell asleep. I woke up to a pair of arms wrapping around me. I turned inhaling Steve's scent pressing us as close as possible. He sighed content holding me closer.

"I love you." He said quietly. I smiled.

 **Hey, so yeah it's been a while but something major happened, and while I haven't been uploading I have been working on the sequeal..**

 **Love, J.**


	33. 32 Hail Hydra

Two weeks came and went and it was the night before the mission. I wasn't horribly comfortable with being left alone with Buckky but I wasn't going to back out now. I took a deep breath pushing my nose further into Steve's bare side.

"Are you okay?" He asked looking at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said quietly. "Just thinking."

"About what?" Steve shifted so our chests were pressed against each other and he pulled me up until we were nose to nose.

"Things.I just have a weird feeling about this mission. If things go south I want you to know I do care about you. A lot." My voice remained just above a whisper.

"The mission won't go south. I'll be home in two days and everything will be okay. Regardless, I love you too." I smiled at him leaning over to gently kiss him. He smiled into the kiss pulling me as close as physically possible. Eventually, I pulled away panting lightly.

"Don't even think about round two tonight, you have to be up very early tomorrow morning, Mister." I laughed. He gave me an innocent smile and I just rolled my eyes. We did eventually get to sleep and when I woke up the next morning I was a bit disappointed to wake up to an empty bed.

I got up hesitantly and got dressed and went to the gym. Bucky was already there running on the treadmill so I walked onto the bench and began lifting weights. It was something I hadn't done in a while and it felt good to work out my upper body. Bucky and I silently worked out for a few hours until it was time to stop and take a shower to rid our bodies of the layer of sweat.

Bucky used the gym's bathroom and I went upstairs to use the joint bathroom. After my shower, I went to the kitchen and was offered a bottle of water by my metal armed roommate. I accepted it saying a quick thanks as I made us both breakfast. Bucky sat at the table and watched as I cooked simple bacon and eggs. Everything was going so smooth and it made my stomach twist. I still couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. It made choking down breakfast fairly difficult and Bucky seemed to be having the same issue.

After breakfast I made my way to the living room, I thought about watching a movie but ended up just staring at the blank screen. The feeling of impending doom just wouldn't go away. Something wasn't right.

"Jarvis, can you get me a progress report on the mission?" My request was met with silence. "Jarvis?" Again nothing.

"Puppy, is everything okay?" Bucky asked coming in.

"No. Jarvis isn't answering," I informed him trying to keep the anxiety out of my voice.

"Puppy, I don't want to alarm you but I think we should move away from the main area of the house. I've got a bad feeling." He explained.

"That makes two of us." We made our way to the library there was one door and no windows. It was our best bet if something was wrong. I listened carefully but there was no sound. My stomach suddenly dropped as I head the back door open forcefully. I stood up motioning for Bucky to stay put. He looked like he wanted to argue but he stayed quiet. I opened the door quietly. I listened to the labored breathing and a dragging sound. I followed the noise being as quiet as possible. When I reached the cause of the sound my nose was assaulted by the smell of blood and gunpowder. Agent Sparkles looked up and froze. I motioned for him to come closer but the sound of breaking glass wood and glass stopped us.

Agent Sparkles motioned me away before turning and drawing his weapon. The sound of boots coming toward us pushed me to move back the way I'd come. When I made it to the library I pulled Bucky into a hidden corner.

"It's hydra," I whispered.

"Are you sure?" He whispered back.

"Yes. We need to come up with a plan. We need to get you out of here." I kept my ears open.

"What about you? They're after both of us." I gave Bucky a look to shut him up. It would be better if they just took me. They'd never wiped my mind. Bucky knew it too although he wanted to argue.

"What's the plan?" He asked.

"Just stay here, they're upstairs now so don't make any noise. Jarvis being turned off should have alerted the others so just stay here and wait for them to show up." I told him.

"I can't just let you go out there by your self," Bucky argued.

"You can and you will." I bit out. "Now my window is closing. Promise me that you're going to stay put."

"Puppy..."

"Now Bucky." I snapped.

"Okay, I promise." He said.

I nodded, quickly and quietly walking out of the library and into the living room area. I called out loudly for a nonexistent person to move and took off running once I knew I had their attention. I sprinted into the woods and smiled as I heard the agents hot on my trail. I slowed down sightly swearing just loud enough for them to hear me. The air was forced from my lungs as I was tackled to the ground. I gasped trying to fill my burning lungs.

"Where is he, Agent Moore?" One of the agents asked.

"I don't know once we hit the woods we split up," I answered still recovering.

"We need an area sweep." Another said into his radio.

"Now as for you. You're coming with us." The first man said. I struggled against them. Not enough to actually get away but enough for them not to suspect anything. One of the agents that jumped in grabbed my arm forcing it to twist behind my back and snap with a sickening sound. I gritted my teeth against the pain as I was forced into a vehicle. My arm throbbed and my head began to swim as a headache formed. They quickly restrained me and the vehicle started moving. Two agents sat on either side of me, two sat up front and three sat behind us. I settled in and accepted my fate for the moment willing my body to start its natural healing process.

Six hours later we pulled up to a Hydra base swarming with agents. I growled not wanting to be there. The agent to my left got out and turned to pull me out. Several other agents rushed to help. I growled at them and fought to keep them away. I was dragged to a room and strapped to a chair. I didn't have to wait long for the last man I wanted to see to walk in. He was Agent Blane, one of the higher-ups, he was in his late fifties and I couldn't stand him. He was very hands-on and when he touched you it felt like his hands left your skin with dirt and grime caked on it. I glared at him as he gave me a sadistic smirk.

"Good to have you back, Agent Moore." He said smugly.

"I'm not your fucking agent." I snapped.

"On the contrary," He started cupping my face between his hands. "When I'm done with you, you will only know and obey Hydra. I'm going to make you forget all about your friends and your beloved boyfriend."

I growled turning my head and biting into his disgusting hand. He cried out and pulled away using his other hand to grab a tonfa and hit me across the jaw with it. Blood filled my mouth and I spat it at him. He grabbed my jaw painfully and pulled my face closer to his.

"I'm going to enjoy breaking you." He threatened ominously. I glared at him but kept my mouth shut. He left me in that room alone and bleeding. My mind wondered to Bucky. I really hoped that he was okay. I hoped the agents hadn't gone back to the house. Then there was agent Sparkles. Agent Young. I hoped he made it out alive. Then my mind wondered to Steve. Had he and the others were informed of something going on? If so how long would it take them to get back and track me? If they'd be able to track me...

I was woken up by the sound of the door opening and was met with Blane's smug face. I glare at him waiting for him speak. My body tensed as he pulled out a familiar object. He looped it around my neck and buckled it in place.

"Let's try something easy. Just say the words 'Hail Hydra'." Blane said showing me the remote.

"Kiss my ass." I snapped. The electricity running through my body heart, but it wasn't going to break me. Not again. I could handle this. I grit my teeth against the pain.

"I can make it stop. Do you want me to make it stop? All you have to do is say two little words." Blane taunted.

"Fuck you." I spat pulling at my restraints.

"Not the two words I was looking for. Would you like to try again?" He teased.

I leaned forward just enough to puke. Blane chuckled sadistically and turned up the intensity. I was just starting to black out when the shock collar was turned off and Blane smacked my cheek a few times waking me up.

"You puked on yourself, you need a shower." He was fading in and out. Someone pulled me up and walked into another room. My head was pounding and I couldn't fight off the hands that were stripping me. Soon the hands left me and cold water hit my body forcefully. I grit my teeth as I was hosed down. Once that was over and they had me dressed in white sweats and a white tee shirt I passed out.

The next two weeks were full of torture but I was determined not to break. Sixteen days after I was brought here I heard a sound that made my heart soar. There was a scuffle outside my cell that caused my heart to race


	34. 33 I love you

My door was opened violently and Steve appeared before me. I was almost bouncing in my seat as he walked over and ripped off the shock collar, stepping on it once I was free of it and then he reached over to release me from my restraints. I leaped out of my seat and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my lips against his. His strong arms wrapped around me almost afraid to let go. I pulled away from him and grinned.

"Baby, I've missed you." He whispered.

"I've missed you too, but from the sound of things we're not done yet," I said smiling like an idiot. Steve nodded and reluctantly released me so I could morph. I shook my fur out and followed him out of the small cell. The whole scene was chaos. So many bodies littered the floor and the air held only the metallic smell of blood. Screams, grunts, moans, and Hulk's roars filled the air along with gunfire and things breaking. I noticed Bucky going after Blane who held a red book with a star in the center of the front cover. I growled immediately following the two. Blane led us to the back of the base where he trapped Bucky in a room, locking the two of them in there. I scratched at the heavy metal door.

"Zhelaniye." Blane's voice rang from the other side of the door. I froze not quite understanding what was going on." Rzhavyy." My brain clicked.

Mine and Bucky's cry melted together as I howled and doubled my efforts trying to grab someone's attention.

"Semnadtsat'." A roar echoed down the hallway and I had to quickly move or risk Tony colliding with me in his suit.

"rassvet." I snapped my eyes at the door telling him to hurry as Bucky screamed again.

"Plita." Finally, Tony got the door open and rushed in helping Bucky out of some contraption while I went after Blane. He dropped the book and ran out of another door to my right. I grabbed the book and gave chase slowly shredding it with my teeth. The sounds of the others got closer as we tan through the base. Eventually, I got him cornered in a room just next to the main room where the battle was going on. I bared my teeth at him as he pulled his gun aiming it at me. I stalked closer dropping the now ruined book about five feet from him. His eyes widened in horror but he was no longer looking at me. I looked behind me to see the others watching us.

"Come any closer and I'll shoot." Blane declared.

Everything that happened next transpired slow motion. Bucky ran at Blane and he turned his gun from me to the soldier. I didn't think I just moved. In the same moment I morphed back I grabbed the closest object to me. The gun rang loudly as I held my breath and pushed the object into Blane's chest. Natasha screamed and my next heartbeat caused so much pain that I dropped to the floor with the Hydra agent. The next heartbeat hurt too. Things sped back up as I realized I'd been shot. I was going to die. I was rolled onto my back and pressure was applied to the wound. Steve was hovering over me tears slowly falling from his eyes and hitting my face.

It was suddenly harder to breathe. I could hear someone else sobbing in the distance and I could hear Tony hurriedly demanding Jarvis to run a diagnostic. Bucky's face came into view as he knelt down next to Steve.

"Why'd you do it, Puppy?" He asked.

"Steve just got you back," I said quietly. It was almost like my voice couldn't get any louder than just above a whisper.

"Fuck. Baby..." I smiled as Steve swore.

"Nothing can be done." I heard Jarvis tell Tony. A sob was ripped from Steve's chest and Bucky had to look away from me. I felt my heart slowly yielding to the bullet still trapped in my chest.

Steve gripped my hand, leaning over he pushed my hair out of my face with his free hand and placed his lips against my forehead. His skin felt oddly warm against mine. My vision slowly started to blur. Everything sounded like my head was under water.

"I love you." I struggled to speak. My mouth was suddenly dry and I could barely get the words out. It took so long as I slowly faded.

"I love you too, Jayson," Steve said around a sob unable to contain it. I smiled at him as I took my final breath. That was it, I closed my eyes and let myself fall into that eternal sleep.


	35. Epilouge

I run my fingers through my dark brown hair and look up at Hel. "Now you know my story. You know why I want to go back so bad."

She hums and looks away from me. "Very well, I'll send you back on one condition."

My dead heart races in my chest. I'm extremely excited. "Of course, anything."My voice almost cracks from emotions currently overwhelming my brain.

"Do not worry my child soon you'll be with your mates."

 **This isn't the end there is a part two of this story by the name of Systematic Revision up now with the prologue and first chapter!**


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